Sinderos

My life is quickly spiriling out of control. I'm at my worst right now and I don't like it. I know I'm the only one who can change it. I'm drinking more than ever and it's starting to take a toll on work.

I've gotten involved (friend only) and he's now my room mate with a guy who is trying to get clean. I've been trying to help him but it's not working since I'm a heavy drinker. I'm pretty sure we're feeding off of each other as he is now drinking a good bit too. He has legal issues and because I care about him it's stressing me out really bad.

On a positive note I'm going to a counselor who is really good and I like a lot. She's been an amazing help. Giving up drinking is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

I know this is a big ramble. I'm just so stressed and all I want to do is get lost in the bottle. I want everything to just go away.

Bunny211

I would suggest that you get rid of the roommate and focus on getting yourself sober.

Why not try an AA meeting? AA saved my life.

Hugs.

August252015

Welcome back!

I had to do absolutely anything and everything AA told me to save my life. And 19+ mo later it is the best decision I have ever made (even more than saying "yes" to my fiance).

You CAN quit- we all need to commit and act. Best to you.

Sinderos

He'll be gone soon. He's going to be in jail for positive drug/alcohol tests. He's in a court program. I really care about him a lot and it hurts me to think of him sitting in jail.

ScottFromWI

You need to focus on yourself right now Sinderos. It certainly hurts to see things bad things happen to those around us, but you have no control over it. Think for a minute how much it hurts others to see you destroy your life/body/mind with alcohol - and there's nothing they can do about it either.

You've been at this for a long time - why not pull out all the stops and really do something about it? By that I mean possibly even Rehab?

Zanna

Really sorry to read about your situation. I can imagine how torn you are between helping your friend (especially with his added legal problems) and wanting space to get your head together.
AA is one way I guess, but there are many other ways too and a lot of us, do nothing more than sign in to SR every day It was reading SR (even though I wasn't signing in), that has got me to 8 months and counting.
You know, your friend is going to have to give up the drink, if he gets sent to prison, so a good plan would be to help him to stop now and at the same time, it would help you to have someone going sober alongside you - whatcha think?
Just an idea and well done for posting

Sinderos

I can't afford rehab. I wish I could.

Sinderos

I'm definitely going to give up the drink. I can't live like this anymore. It's affecting more aspects of my life than ever before. He will be gone for a minimum of 30 days. He says he wants to be clean and sober so hopefully when he gets out I'll have sober time under my belt and we can really help each other.

Zanna

How about you helping each other, before he goes in? I write to prisoners over there and believe me, you don't want him getting caught up 'owing' money (or worse) for illegal booze. Not trying to frighten you, but it happens
It would be a really true sign of friendship on both your parts, to help each other before he goes in

You can do this

Anna

Sinderos, the Salvation Army offers free rehab:

http://satruck.org/national-rehabilitation

I think you need to really focus on yourself right now and not get too involved trying to help and worrying about your friend. You can do this.

AshleyB

I hope you find you way to sobriety hun! It will help tremendously I was drinking like crazy too, then I just stopped cold turkey it was hard but it's so rewarding

Sinderos

Going to a residential rehab program means I have to take an extensive amount of time off work. That means my rent and bills won't get paid. I will be homeless and left with nothing. I can't do that. Plus I have 2 dogs that I adore and can't give up.

Sinderos

I'm gonna do that. I have no choice. Thank you for your encouragement.

Zanna

How are things going Sinderos?

axeman5971

It seems like you are projecting a bit, which could be interpreted as reasons or excuses “why not”.

Have you looked into outpatient? I do an evening Inetensive Outpatient (IOP) that is awesome. Pair that with 2-3 AA meetings per week and I am sober 52 days today.

It’s good to care about your friend but you’re not useful to him not sober and vice versa, enabling each other. You need to focus on your recovery above all else right now.

markinny

I know this may sound harsh but your friend going to jail may be just what he needs.

I have a very close friend who after his 5th dwi got to spend 2 yrs. in prison. he was never in an accident or hurt anyone and never cost an insurance company a penny. at the time we all said how he got screwed and how much that sucked. while in he worked the program of AA tho never followed up when released. that was 14 yrs. ago and to this day he hasn't had a drink. he is very successful and living a good life. now we all say it was the best thing to happen to him. maybe you could hope for the same for your friend and most importantly look out for yourself.

2muchpain

Great post!! A while back, I was involved in an IOP program also. I also went to two or three AA meetings a week along with exercising. It was draining but so worth it. John

mielz

Hard times are a reminder that better times are too come that things can only go up from here. But you have too make some very serious decisions an that means putting urself and ur recovery first.
You obviously have such a kind heart that hurts for those who hurt and I think that is admirable. Be strong and be honest with yourself for today for the next hours until u lay ur head down for the night.
Sending you strength and love