New to the Forum and 7 months in
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 9
New to the Forum and 7 months in
Hello lovely people!
I have decided to join the forum after a having a relatively successful quitting of alcohol process. My reasons are that even after this amount of time my cravings and triggers can sometimes be a little over powering and finding people to talk about it that have any idea about what I'm going through is tough. I quit on my own with the driving force on creating a new, better life for myself after my Mum passed away. I'm currently studying as a counselor (first year) and have a wonderful girlfriend that understands the best she can. My life is tip top in most areas but there is certainly an issue with any interpersonal issues or stress/boredom causing me to feel the need to drink to properly communicate with my emotions and settle the noise in my mind. I'm just about to start weekly therapy which I think will be hugely beneficial as I am a firm believer that my attraction to alcohol is based in aspects of my childhood and various traumas. I suffer with depersonalization disorder which comes with the added bonus of anxiety and OCD. All of which pushed my drinking into complete destruction. I switched to using kratom to aid my recovery which worked great, however now I'm off everything now and the itch is a bit of a bitch!
So, hello! That's ma story.
Peace
J
I have decided to join the forum after a having a relatively successful quitting of alcohol process. My reasons are that even after this amount of time my cravings and triggers can sometimes be a little over powering and finding people to talk about it that have any idea about what I'm going through is tough. I quit on my own with the driving force on creating a new, better life for myself after my Mum passed away. I'm currently studying as a counselor (first year) and have a wonderful girlfriend that understands the best she can. My life is tip top in most areas but there is certainly an issue with any interpersonal issues or stress/boredom causing me to feel the need to drink to properly communicate with my emotions and settle the noise in my mind. I'm just about to start weekly therapy which I think will be hugely beneficial as I am a firm believer that my attraction to alcohol is based in aspects of my childhood and various traumas. I suffer with depersonalization disorder which comes with the added bonus of anxiety and OCD. All of which pushed my drinking into complete destruction. I switched to using kratom to aid my recovery which worked great, however now I'm off everything now and the itch is a bit of a bitch!
So, hello! That's ma story.
Peace
J
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Hi Jay,
Welcome aboard. Imo....You are doing amazing.
You are probably younger than me, or drank way less than some, or have a strong constitution....
....because it sounds like getting to 7 months clean was not that tricky for you.
Is this true?
When I was 28 I quit once for 8 months. There were no anxiety attacks or crazy obessions that time.
So, I thought I would drink again...because quitting was not that hard if I ever decided to quit again.
Well well well...that was a bad decision. Probably the worst decision I will ever make.
Fast forward 20 years. I became heavily physically and mentally addicted.
Quitting this time, my last time, was a living horror show.
Many folks don't make it out. The keep drinking until they die. Some kill themselves.
Many folks end up on meds forever.
That is not a big deal for most, unless you relapse while on the meds.
If I would have been told this at 17 years old, I may not have listened.
But, if I heard it over and over and over....like here on SR....especially because I smartly came here....like you...
I may have listened.
Make sense?
The crave lasts forever. It weakens...but it remains.
Thanks.
Welcome aboard. Imo....You are doing amazing.
You are probably younger than me, or drank way less than some, or have a strong constitution....
....because it sounds like getting to 7 months clean was not that tricky for you.
Is this true?
When I was 28 I quit once for 8 months. There were no anxiety attacks or crazy obessions that time.
So, I thought I would drink again...because quitting was not that hard if I ever decided to quit again.
Well well well...that was a bad decision. Probably the worst decision I will ever make.
Fast forward 20 years. I became heavily physically and mentally addicted.
Quitting this time, my last time, was a living horror show.
Many folks don't make it out. The keep drinking until they die. Some kill themselves.
Many folks end up on meds forever.
That is not a big deal for most, unless you relapse while on the meds.
If I would have been told this at 17 years old, I may not have listened.
But, if I heard it over and over and over....like here on SR....especially because I smartly came here....like you...
I may have listened.
Make sense?
The crave lasts forever. It weakens...but it remains.
Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 9
Hi D122y,
I'm 32 and this the first time I have really committed to stopping. In the past it was 'cutting down' over and over and just getting worse and worse. My job gave me a lot of free time with very little responsibility. It was a cycle of 3 days of huge binges followed by 3/4 days of taming the withdrawals until I went back into another binge. It was like this for years and my quality of life was very low. I can see how if I went back into that that it would really become something on a whole new level. For now I am very goal focused. I see how life doesn't need alcohol to feel worth while, something that in my dark days I didn't agree with. I just have to be very careful with where I go and who I am with as living in the UK can be an absolute nightmare for triggers. I have to admit it scares me that the cravings stick around so much along with my brain trying to rationalise that just this one time it would be ok.
I'm 32 and this the first time I have really committed to stopping. In the past it was 'cutting down' over and over and just getting worse and worse. My job gave me a lot of free time with very little responsibility. It was a cycle of 3 days of huge binges followed by 3/4 days of taming the withdrawals until I went back into another binge. It was like this for years and my quality of life was very low. I can see how if I went back into that that it would really become something on a whole new level. For now I am very goal focused. I see how life doesn't need alcohol to feel worth while, something that in my dark days I didn't agree with. I just have to be very careful with where I go and who I am with as living in the UK can be an absolute nightmare for triggers. I have to admit it scares me that the cravings stick around so much along with my brain trying to rationalise that just this one time it would be ok.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 4,553
Hi Jayrekt and welcome!
I know all about those 4 days on 4 days off cycles they were a living hell for me too. 7 months is brilliant and it sounds like you're addressing other issues too. To put the drink down at age 32 is an absolute gift to yourself. Many decades ahead of you without that poison how wonderful! I'm in the UK too so I get the whole drinking culture it's so ingrained here.
I'm so pleased you've found SR to beef up your sobriety tools. I love it here and there is so much support and so much to learn. Maybe check out the Class of September 2017 or the 24 hour thread for a daily commitment to sobriety. Every little helps after all......take care xxx
I know all about those 4 days on 4 days off cycles they were a living hell for me too. 7 months is brilliant and it sounds like you're addressing other issues too. To put the drink down at age 32 is an absolute gift to yourself. Many decades ahead of you without that poison how wonderful! I'm in the UK too so I get the whole drinking culture it's so ingrained here.
I'm so pleased you've found SR to beef up your sobriety tools. I love it here and there is so much support and so much to learn. Maybe check out the Class of September 2017 or the 24 hour thread for a daily commitment to sobriety. Every little helps after all......take care xxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
The cravings and triggers may be with you for a long time. Good news is that they are inconsequential and you can ignore them. You have alot more going for you than drinking. Keep mushin' on 
~Bunnez
~Bunnez
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 2,256
Hi Jay, there's a lot in your post that I can relate to. I decided to stop drinking after my dad died last year and managed almost 6 months on my own before joining SR. By that point I felt I needed support and the support I've got here has been phenomenal. In just over a month I will celebrate my first year of sobriety and I would not have got this far without the people on this site.
It sounds like you're doing really well and I think joining SR will help you so much as you continue with your recovery. I love logging on and not feeling alone. Addiction likes to isolate us. I'm lucky because my real world is filled with awesome people that I love but try as they do, none of them understand addiction. When the cravings start and my AV starts to shout, this is where I come. This is where I talk to the people who do understand. So welcome! I think you're going to like it here.
It sounds like you're doing really well and I think joining SR will help you so much as you continue with your recovery. I love logging on and not feeling alone. Addiction likes to isolate us. I'm lucky because my real world is filled with awesome people that I love but try as they do, none of them understand addiction. When the cravings start and my AV starts to shout, this is where I come. This is where I talk to the people who do understand. So welcome! I think you're going to like it here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Portland maine
Posts: 1,330
D122y - thank you - you told my story too. Feeling pretty grateful I didn't die, because that was next. If someone can stay sober at 32 - don't give up!!! The bottom is horrid to crawl out of.....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
Hi Jayrekt. I'm a little over 7 months in, and I've solely used SR for the community aspect of recovery. My go-to method has been AVRT -- might be interesting to look into, given your mental health background? It's also handy for addressing the itch when it pops up.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Originally Posted by Jayrekt 
Hi D122y,
I'm 32 and this the first time I have really committed to stopping. In the past it was 'cutting down' over and over and just getting worse and worse. My job gave me a lot of free time with very little responsibility. It was a cycle of 3 days of huge binges followed by 3/4 days of taming the withdrawals until I went back into another binge. It was like this for years and my quality of life was very low. I can see how if I went back into that that it would really become something on a whole new level. For now I am very goal focused. I see how life doesn't need alcohol to feel worth while, something that in my dark days I didn't agree with. I just have to be very careful with where I go and who I am with as living in the UK can be an absolute nightmare for triggers. I have to admit it scares me that the cravings stick around so much along with my brain trying to rationalise that just this one time it would be ok.
I'm 32 and this the first time I have really committed to stopping. In the past it was 'cutting down' over and over and just getting worse and worse. My job gave me a lot of free time with very little responsibility. It was a cycle of 3 days of huge binges followed by 3/4 days of taming the withdrawals until I went back into another binge. It was like this for years and my quality of life was very low. I can see how if I went back into that that it would really become something on a whole new level. For now I am very goal focused. I see how life doesn't need alcohol to feel worth while, something that in my dark days I didn't agree with. I just have to be very careful with where I go and who I am with as living in the UK can be an absolute nightmare for triggers. I have to admit it scares me that the cravings stick around so much along with my brain trying to rationalise that just this one time it would be ok.
Yep. I do great at home on my on. I don't drink.
The 2 times I had a little booze in my ~900 days clean were when I was out.
I see all the normies and actives drinking. I didn't feel like I was going to drink because I was losing control...I had rational reasons both times.
My analytical mind, my defense against booze, was infiltrated by my emotional mind. In both cases, at the time, I was fine.
But when I came back here, I felt the shame of relapse. I didn't like it, but it was a good thing. It got me back in the right mindset.
Since 28 Aug. I have had so many opportunities, obviously to drink again. So many.
But, I don't because I don't drink anymore, and I use SR to hold myself accountable. AA does the same thing.
Thanks.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Originally Posted by Jayrekt
Hi D122y,
I'm 32 and this the first time I have really committed to stopping. In the past it was 'cutting down' over and over and just getting worse and worse. My job gave me a lot of free time with very little responsibility. It was a cycle of 3 days of huge binges followed by 3/4 days of taming the withdrawals until I went back into another binge. It was like this for years and my quality of life was very low. I can see how if I went back into that that it would really become something on a whole new level. For now I am very goal focused. I see how life doesn't need alcohol to feel worth while, something that in my dark days I didn't agree with. I just have to be very careful with where I go and who I am with as living in the UK can be an absolute nightmare for triggers. I have to admit it scares me that the cravings stick around so much along with my brain trying to rationalise that just this one time it would be ok.
I'm 32 and this the first time I have really committed to stopping. In the past it was 'cutting down' over and over and just getting worse and worse. My job gave me a lot of free time with very little responsibility. It was a cycle of 3 days of huge binges followed by 3/4 days of taming the withdrawals until I went back into another binge. It was like this for years and my quality of life was very low. I can see how if I went back into that that it would really become something on a whole new level. For now I am very goal focused. I see how life doesn't need alcohol to feel worth while, something that in my dark days I didn't agree with. I just have to be very careful with where I go and who I am with as living in the UK can be an absolute nightmare for triggers. I have to admit it scares me that the cravings stick around so much along with my brain trying to rationalise that just this one time it would be ok.
Yep. I do great at home on my on. I don't drink.
The 2 times I had a little booze in my ~900 days clean were when I was out.
I see all the normies and actives drinking. I didn't feel like I was going to drink because I was losing control...I had rational reasons both times.
My analytical mind, my defense against booze, was infiltrated by my emotional mind. In both cases, at the time, I was fine.
But when I came back here, I felt the shame of relapse. I didn't like it, but it was a good thing. It got me back in the right mindset.
Since 28 Aug. I have had so many opportunities to drink again. So many.
But, I don't because I don't drink anymore, and I use SR to hold myself accountable.
If someone has trouble with doing it on their own or here at SR, AA is another option but with more oversight, direction, discipline, history etc etc.
Thanks.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Originally Posted by D122y
Jay,
Yep. I do great at home on my on. I don't drink.
The 2 times I had a little booze in my ~900 days clean were when I was out.
I see all the normies and actives drinking. I didn't feel like I was going to drink because I was losing control...I had rational reasons both times.
My analytical mind, my defense against booze, was infiltrated by my emotional mind. In both cases, at the time, I was fine.
But when I came back here, I felt the shame of relapse. I didn't like it, but it was a good thing. It got me back in the right mindset.
Since 28 Aug. I have had so many opportunities, obviously to drink again. So many.
But, I don't because I don't drink anymore, and I use SR to hold myself accountable. AA does the same thing.
Thanks.
Yep. I do great at home on my on. I don't drink.
The 2 times I had a little booze in my ~900 days clean were when I was out.
I see all the normies and actives drinking. I didn't feel like I was going to drink because I was losing control...I had rational reasons both times.
My analytical mind, my defense against booze, was infiltrated by my emotional mind. In both cases, at the time, I was fine.
But when I came back here, I felt the shame of relapse. I didn't like it, but it was a good thing. It got me back in the right mindset.
Since 28 Aug. I have had so many opportunities, obviously to drink again. So many.
But, I don't because I don't drink anymore, and I use SR to hold myself accountable. AA does the same thing.
Thanks.
You can delete this one, it was a draft of the second one.
I am getting out of practice.
Thanks.
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