Mango blast

Take what helps and leave the rest.

In recovery from this family disease of alcoholism, the disease that effects friends and family as well as the alcoholic, the phrase above can be life saving.

Take what helps! Use it. Feel it. Trust that you found/heard/stumbled across/implemented it for a reason.

Leave the rest. Either you don't need it or it will come back to you at another time.

Take what helps and leave the rest. Ideas, beliefs, people, situations...

Mango blast

Especially important with recovering from emotional, psychological and/or physical abuse.

There are some people who's experience and viewpoint really helps me... until suddenly I'm hearing something that has me screaming, "no, no, NO!!!" inside... and I've learned to trust that inner voice where it helps me. Sometimes my inner voice didn't truely represent me and was an echo of my abusers... and that I learned to leave behind.

Mango blast

Bump.

Really on my heart and mind tonight.

dandylion

Mango blast.....interesting that you bring that up....as, in my own life experience, I just did that...from, what I think, must be some sort of instinctual self preservation thing.... I actually stumbled across this when I was too young to have heard it expressed by anyone in recovery circles or on the internet....

I think what you are saying is a very, very, important concept...I hope that a lot of people read this....

***I must share, with you, that some p eople have accused me of being "pragmatic"....ca n you imagine that?? When they have done so...I just smile......

NYCDoglvr

On the other hand, don't reject something because of denial and rationalization. It may take years of misery to understand so many principles apply to me directly.

Mango blast

Yes... a completely different side of this.

The faster I got to opening my mind to new ideas was FIRST by getting to sort out what felt a connection to my gut... to my instincts...

Even though those instincts seemed to be flawed at times, there was an awareness--first and foremost-- building in me that it was OKAY to listen to my body, my heart... to put ME and what resonated within me before anything else.

The abuse I'd been through told me I wasn't worthy. There needed to be a break in that core belief... and being ALLOWED and ENCOURAGED to follow my own instincts fed the fire to take new actions.

Gm0824

Thank you, I needed to read this today.

GM

Mango blast

Bumpity bump....

I'm posting here to release a strong triggered response from a meeting...

Another f-ing learning opportunity!

I can cry or I can laugh... and I may just do both.

Someone responded directly to my share, looking at me the whole time... going on... and on... trying to "fix" me.

I am thankful I can choose my responses...

I am thankful that to walk away and go get a kick-ass most-delicious-coffee-ever in a relaxed, friendly atmosphere was my choice today.

I'm thankful I can see how much this triggered me.

I am thankful for No Contact with all the family members who have done this to me time and again, with complete and utter disregard of my ability to excel at LIFE without their "help".

Awww... writing this out is good therapy.

----

Bright sunlight streaming in huge beautiful windows. Healthy, happy, energetic people all around me.

Steam rising from my coffee... and suddenly no longer rising inside me.

To be able to drive to a place I enjoy, smile and greet people I cross paths with, to laugh and interact with people who are totally enjoying the day and their jobs... to be able to take note of these things and create the day I want.... THESE are the delicious fruits of Recovery.

Thankful I was at the meeting. There were good things there... even this experience. I've been afraid of dealing with my parents. Days like this help me realize I can handle anything that comes my way.

My HP is much more powerful than my problems.

Bekindalways

Mango, I can't stand people trying to fix me. Probably as this is a bit at the heart of my own codependent issues. In many ways, trying to "fix" someone is the ultimate way to say/imply, "I'm better than you and you are broken." All of us are broken in some way but we are also exactly where we need to be.

Good on ya for going somewhere else and finding joy.

I think about this and realize that I want to "fix" the world. Not my job. Not my circus. Not my monkeys.

I hereby consign the monkeys, circus rings, big top and entire menagerie to God/yaweh/allah/higher-power/super-spook.