Lola23

Hi friends,
I'm back today, I have not visited or posted to this site in a long time. Want to share my story and get some advice/guidance.

I have been trying to get sober, stay sober, find abstinence, whatever you want to call it for 5ish years. I never went to rehab, but I did join AA, and I found a lot of help there. Certainly my last 2 years have been a huge improvement over what I was doing before, in that I would have boughts of sobriety of up to 60 days, and then I would drink again. Usually, it would be a week long binge, and then I'd say to myself that that sucked and I would start the cycle again of "being sober" for the next few weeks/months. I use that in quotation b/c I don't know if its actually being sober. But I say it was an improvement for sure from the way I was living before. Look better, feel better, work better, etc.

Anyways, I just spent the last 2 weeks drinking. Decided last night I'm done and today is Day 1. The last 2 weeks have generally been 1- 2ish bottles of wine, starting pretty early in the day. I cannot tell if I'm actually having withdrawal symptoms or what and what to expect? I know no one is a doctor but any thoughts on whether 2 weeks of drinking wld be enough to get to a point that I need to go to a doctor? I feel ok...nauseous for sure but the feeling of dry heaving has passed. Shaky, sweating, etc.

I know I need to commit to sobriety and I'm wondering if I am ready to tell my friends that I made in AA that I have relapsed (they don't really know that I've been going back and forth with my drinking).

All for now.

Hats

I was in the program of AA a number of years ago and got some very good long term sobriety out of it. It really changed my life. But... through a series of circumstances I stopped going to meetings, shut god out of my life and the next thing I knew I was back at harder than ever. I spent the next 2 years drinking into oblivion before I was brought to my knees in such mental and emotional despair, it just couldn't go on like this.
Long story short, I made a call to my old sponsor and went back to my old groups of AA. It was hard, embarrassed, full of guilt and shame and though everyone would look down on me. I was full of fear. However, when I walked into the room, everyone got up and gave me a hug, shook my hand and was so happy that I returned. I've never received such a warm welcome. That was 24 days ago and it's the best decision I've made in years. Letting my AA friends know about my drinking was such a relief off my shoulders, the love and support I recieved was just what I needed.
As for the withdrawals, they will subside in time. Get back to the basics, lots of meeting, talk with a sponsor and LOTS of prayer. I had ****** withdrawals too, each day got a bit better. Hang in there.

dwtbd

I'm not sure if you need to commit to sobriety( the term itself has many connotations , especially around here), but if you want to end your addiction to alcohol ( finding yourself drinking against your own better judgment) then you have to fully commit to quitting, to not drinking ever again, no matter what.

welcome back
wish you well
and hope to see you around

saoutchik

Glad you are back Lola though I wish the circumstances were different but it sounds as though you just need to find a way past the couple of months barrier, i'm sure it is a mental thing.

site1Q84

Welcome back Lola!

I think telling your friends in AA about your drinking is a good idea - it's definitely a hard thing to do, but I always feel like a weight has been lifted once I actually say it out loud. It's like the first time I walked into a meeting and said I was an alcoholic. One of the hardest things I've ever done but the second I did it I felt 1000 times better.

Dee74

Hi Lola

Welcome back

I would see a doctor if only for peace of mind.
Withdrawal can get worse the more years we drink alcoholically.

I dunno about you but I'd tend to forget that it wasn't just 2 weeks of drinking, it was two weeks of drinking in a long long line of off-again, on-again drinking.

will you continue to use AA this time do you think?

D

Anna

Welcome back, Lola!

I agree with Dee that it's always a good idea to talk to your dr if you're concerned.

I'm glad that you've committed yourself to sobriety. It's always a good idea to have a plan as to how you will manage your recovery. If AA worked for you before, it could work again. And, you know you will always find support here.

Hevyn

It's great to see you again, Lola. You sound ready to get free - we know you can.