Relapsed - My Mom said she is done with me
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Bethlehem, PA
Posts: 230
Relapsed - My Mom said she is done with me
I screwed up this past weekend. I had 10-days clean. Went out with a friend, he kept encouraging me to drink. So I had one beer. That's all it took because when I drink I turn into a drug addict. Then I used drugs like an idiot.
I was supposed to go to a party the next day for Aunt held at my parents house. I didn't go because I was so hungover. Everyone was waiting for me especially my Aunt. I never told my parents I wasn't coming because I was sleeping all day. My Mom accused me of drinking and said they are done with me and she called me a disappointment.
Sucks with my parents but I'm chalking it up to her just being mad and heat of the moment. I could tell she was drinking. I can't blame them. I owe them money and I haven't paid them back when I said I would because of my struggles.
At the same time I feel like I can't let them get me upset and let it lead to me drinking more or using drugs. They've done a lot for me and are probably frustrated so I get it. But I feel like I don't deserve to be called a disappointment and talked to that way. I am going through a bad time but I'll get through it. When people go through bad times I feel like that is when you need friends and family the most. For her to say that to me hurt, a lot, but I do understand where she is coming from.
I decided not to contact them anymore and give them space. They can contact me when they are ready. If I never hear from them again (high unlikely but you never know) that would hurt but I've got to live my life.
So it was a very rough weekend for me but I'm trying to learn from my mistakes and keep trying. I'm trying to use it as motivation to prove her wrong. Today is day 2 for me. I'm not going to give up!
I'm writing down why I relapsed and coming up with a plan for the next time I am in that situation. I'm also writing down how I felt about drinking/using drugs the next day to remind myself it is not worth it.
I was supposed to go to a party the next day for Aunt held at my parents house. I didn't go because I was so hungover. Everyone was waiting for me especially my Aunt. I never told my parents I wasn't coming because I was sleeping all day. My Mom accused me of drinking and said they are done with me and she called me a disappointment.
Sucks with my parents but I'm chalking it up to her just being mad and heat of the moment. I could tell she was drinking. I can't blame them. I owe them money and I haven't paid them back when I said I would because of my struggles.
At the same time I feel like I can't let them get me upset and let it lead to me drinking more or using drugs. They've done a lot for me and are probably frustrated so I get it. But I feel like I don't deserve to be called a disappointment and talked to that way. I am going through a bad time but I'll get through it. When people go through bad times I feel like that is when you need friends and family the most. For her to say that to me hurt, a lot, but I do understand where she is coming from.
I decided not to contact them anymore and give them space. They can contact me when they are ready. If I never hear from them again (high unlikely but you never know) that would hurt but I've got to live my life.
So it was a very rough weekend for me but I'm trying to learn from my mistakes and keep trying. I'm trying to use it as motivation to prove her wrong. Today is day 2 for me. I'm not going to give up!
I'm writing down why I relapsed and coming up with a plan for the next time I am in that situation. I'm also writing down how I felt about drinking/using drugs the next day to remind myself it is not worth it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 251
Hi Dangerzone- Just came over from my thread to read.. its crazy how quickly you can justify and just give in when that voice in your head tells you too.
I think you are right about your parents. They just need some space as they are frustrated. You are not a disappointment.
Lets get a better sober plan together, we can do this!
I think you are right about your parents. They just need some space as they are frustrated. You are not a disappointment.
Lets get a better sober plan together, we can do this!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Bethlehem, PA
Posts: 230
Originally Posted by icandothis20 
Hi Dangerzone- Just came over from my thread to read.. its crazy how quickly you can justify and just give in when that voice in your head tells you too.
I think you are right about your parents. They just need some space as they are frustrated. You are not a disappointment.
Lets get a better sober plan together, we can do this!
I think you are right about your parents. They just need some space as they are frustrated. You are not a disappointment.
Lets get a better sober plan together, we can do this!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 421
Good job taking the time to really evaluate the situation and remaining optimistic. You are not a disappointment. We chatted a bit in the chat earlier and you have some wonderful insight. Day 2 for me as well. You had my back, I got yours. Good luck Danger.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 319
This is coming from a parent of 3 who has a daughter who had a lot worse behavior than you, believe me. My advice may be blunt, but it's meant to help!
Disappointment? Heck yes you're a disappointment. You don't show up to a big party for your Aunt and go totally AWOL? That's really embarrassing for your parents. You do understand this, right? How mortifying for them. I would have called you a lot worse if I were in their shoes.
First thing you need to do is apologize to your Aunt. Send her something from Amazon. Flowers, gift card, apology card, or whatever. Also, you should call her personally and apologize. This needs to happen before you talk to your parents.
Next you need to go to your parent's house and apologize to them. Take ownership and make no excuses. Take full responsibility and let them know your game plan for cleaning yourself up. You have a drinking and drug problem, and you're seeking help and addressing it.
Finally, you may really want to evaluate whether this "friend" who encouraged you to drink is someone who you should be hanging around with.
Disappointment? Heck yes you're a disappointment. You don't show up to a big party for your Aunt and go totally AWOL? That's really embarrassing for your parents. You do understand this, right? How mortifying for them. I would have called you a lot worse if I were in their shoes.
First thing you need to do is apologize to your Aunt. Send her something from Amazon. Flowers, gift card, apology card, or whatever. Also, you should call her personally and apologize. This needs to happen before you talk to your parents.
Next you need to go to your parent's house and apologize to them. Take ownership and make no excuses. Take full responsibility and let them know your game plan for cleaning yourself up. You have a drinking and drug problem, and you're seeking help and addressing it.
Finally, you may really want to evaluate whether this "friend" who encouraged you to drink is someone who you should be hanging around with.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Bethlehem, PA
Posts: 230
Originally Posted by Frank14
This is coming from a parent of 3 who has a daughter who had a lot worse behavior than you, believe me. My advice may be blunt, but it's meant to help!
Disappointment? Heck yes you're a disappointment. You don't show up to a big party for your Aunt and go totally AWOL? That's really embarrassing for your parents. You do understand this, right? How mortifying for them. I would have called you a lot worse if I were in their shoes.
First thing you need to do is apologize to your Aunt. Send her something from Amazon. Flowers, gift card, apology card, or whatever. Also, you should call her personally and apologize. This needs to happen before you talk to your parents.
Next you need to go to your parent's house and apologize to them. Take ownership and make no excuses. Take full responsibility and let them know your game plan for cleaning yourself up. You have a drinking and drug problem, and you're seeking help and addressing it.
Finally, you may really want to evaluate whether this "friend" who encouraged you to drink is someone who you should be hanging around with.
Disappointment? Heck yes you're a disappointment. You don't show up to a big party for your Aunt and go totally AWOL? That's really embarrassing for your parents. You do understand this, right? How mortifying for them. I would have called you a lot worse if I were in their shoes.
First thing you need to do is apologize to your Aunt. Send her something from Amazon. Flowers, gift card, apology card, or whatever. Also, you should call her personally and apologize. This needs to happen before you talk to your parents.
Next you need to go to your parent's house and apologize to them. Take ownership and make no excuses. Take full responsibility and let them know your game plan for cleaning yourself up. You have a drinking and drug problem, and you're seeking help and addressing it.
Finally, you may really want to evaluate whether this "friend" who encouraged you to drink is someone who you should be hanging around with.
Thank you.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,717
Originally Posted by Frank14
This is coming from a parent of 3 who has a daughter who had a lot worse behavior than you, believe me. My advice may be blunt, but it's meant to help!
Disappointment? Heck yes you're a disappointment. You don't show up to a big party for your Aunt and go totally AWOL? That's really embarrassing for your parents. You do understand this, right? How mortifying for them. I would have called you a lot worse if I were in their shoes.
First thing you need to do is apologize to your Aunt. Send her something from Amazon. Flowers, gift card, apology card, or whatever. Also, you should call her personally and apologize. This needs to happen before you talk to your parents.
Next you need to go to your parent's house and apologize to them. Take ownership and make no excuses. Take full responsibility and let them know your game plan for cleaning yourself up. You have a drinking and drug problem, and you're seeking help and addressing it.
Finally, you may really want to evaluate whether this "friend" who encouraged you to drink is someone who you should be hanging around with.
Disappointment? Heck yes you're a disappointment. You don't show up to a big party for your Aunt and go totally AWOL? That's really embarrassing for your parents. You do understand this, right? How mortifying for them. I would have called you a lot worse if I were in their shoes.
First thing you need to do is apologize to your Aunt. Send her something from Amazon. Flowers, gift card, apology card, or whatever. Also, you should call her personally and apologize. This needs to happen before you talk to your parents.
Next you need to go to your parent's house and apologize to them. Take ownership and make no excuses. Take full responsibility and let them know your game plan for cleaning yourself up. You have a drinking and drug problem, and you're seeking help and addressing it.
Finally, you may really want to evaluate whether this "friend" who encouraged you to drink is someone who you should be hanging around with.
Guest
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by Frank14
This is coming from a parent of 3 who has a daughter who had a lot worse behavior than you, believe me. My advice may be blunt, but it's meant to help!
Disappointment? Heck yes you're a disappointment. You don't show up to a big party for your Aunt and go totally AWOL? That's really embarrassing for your parents. You do understand this, right? How mortifying for them. I would have called you a lot worse if I were in their shoes.
First thing you need to do is apologize to your Aunt. Send her something from Amazon. Flowers, gift card, apology card, or whatever. Also, you should call her personally and apologize. This needs to happen before you talk to your parents.
Next you need to go to your parent's house and apologize to them. Take ownership and make no excuses. Take full responsibility and let them know your game plan for cleaning yourself up. You have a drinking and drug problem, and you're seeking help and addressing it.
Finally, you may really want to evaluate whether this "friend" who encouraged you to drink is someone who you should be hanging around with.
Disappointment? Heck yes you're a disappointment. You don't show up to a big party for your Aunt and go totally AWOL? That's really embarrassing for your parents. You do understand this, right? How mortifying for them. I would have called you a lot worse if I were in their shoes.
First thing you need to do is apologize to your Aunt. Send her something from Amazon. Flowers, gift card, apology card, or whatever. Also, you should call her personally and apologize. This needs to happen before you talk to your parents.
Next you need to go to your parent's house and apologize to them. Take ownership and make no excuses. Take full responsibility and let them know your game plan for cleaning yourself up. You have a drinking and drug problem, and you're seeking help and addressing it.
Finally, you may really want to evaluate whether this "friend" who encouraged you to drink is someone who you should be hanging around with.
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