asking4advice

hi. i have never done anything like this before, but i know that something needs to be done and i don't know what or how. i am 23 and have had substance abuse problems for almost 10 years now. i really need to stop drinking but when i think about doing it it seems unrealistic. my father was an alcoholic and died 2 years ago from liver failure; he was only 52. right now i am only drinking about once a week, but the problem is that i almost always black out when i drink, even if i haven't even had six drinks yet. it really scares me that i don't know what i'm doing; sometimes i don't even know about things i did until weeks later. when i'm on autopilot i do and say things that i would never consider doing sober, and i don't want to be that drunk girl, but i think i already am. i know i need to quit for the sake of my friends and family, as well as myself. i feel like i'm lucky to still have friends left after the way i act. it just doesn't seem fair that everyone else can drink and not get out of control... i don't understand what makes me different. i'm sick of hurting people i care about because i got wasted and blacked out. how do i know if i have a problem??? does anyone have any advice on how to stop drinking without going into rehab??? how can i stick to my guns and really quit, not just say it every time i do something stupid???
i feel like a horrible person, i hate the way i am when i drink but i continue to do it. my friends tell me to just not have too many drinks and try to pace my drinking, but that just does'nt work for me.... i truly feel lost.

quercusalba

Hello, sweetie. I am perhaps not the best person to first address you, but others will be along soon - this forum is a very supportive and good place to come. I am very newly sober after having been an alcoholic for about ten years. Funny, I started my drinking career in Columbus, Ohio, while I was in college there at OSU! Not so funny, I guess. Anyhow. You do have a problem with alcohol, I don't think you need to ask that question. You are one of the unfortunate few who cannot drink. I've heard the phrase "One is too many, a thousand never enough," with regard to our sort of drinking, and it's so true. It does seem unfair that we can't drink like others can - but that truth of the matter is just that... we *cannot* drink like others can. We cannot drink at all. You ARE NOT a horrible person, never never think that way. It is self-defeating. What you have is a horrible disease, but that disease does not define you. So many of us here can empathize with how you feel - so many of us hate how we are when we use our drug of choice but have continued to use it anyway. So many of us have stories uncountable of how many times we swore off the drink, only to go right back to it as if we had no idea where things would end up. It's unbelieveable what we do, and many of us feel lucky to still have friends and family who love us. I guess what I'm getting at with this is that there are so many others out there who are in the same boat with you, from all walks of life, all ages and genders. You can draw some strength and hope from the fact that we're all here trying to support each other and to heal.

I will recommend the only thing that has helped me after years of trying to stop this drinking on my own - find an AA meeting. I know they have some around the OSU campus... and you could very well find one that is specifically for younger people. Please do yourself a favor and get to one, find some face-to-face support that will be there for you to lend you a helping hand, a listening ear, and some accountability. I wish I'd stopped when I was your age instead of waiting ten years. Don't lose more of your time to alcohol - it isn't worth it. YOU are worth much more.

My thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself.

Privet

Hey there! I'm from Columbus too, small world. I was drinking for years and years, and was always denying I had a problem, and would get angry when someone would mention it too me...well, I'm over that phase, now I'm just trying to stay sober one day at a time, but it's hard on campus, when everything is centered around drinking, that's all anyone does, it seems.

I've done MORE than enough getting trashed, and having no idea what I'd done, until someone told me later....and a lot of those things were extremely embarrassing and humiliating...let's just say if "Girls Gone Wild" were there to tape, I would be notorious.

St. Stephen's has AA tonight...it's right on the corner of Woodruff and High St....it starts at 8:30, that's were I went the first time, all by myself, feeling VERY nervous, but there are probably more than 100 people there, free coffee...
TAKE CARE!!!
Jess

Privet

I am sorry, that meeting is on Tuesdays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jess

nutz

Hi, Asking

No advice
I suggest
Try asking for a big book or the AA book or get one.
read it ...I guess.
I was 23 also, sick and tire of being sick and tired already.
I didn't go thourgh a treatment center.

Give AA a try, if you don't think it's for you. You can always
try other resourse or drink again. You have nothing to loose.

Dunitall

Hi!

Well done for getting here.

You are sooo... not alone in your situation. Thousands of us here and in AA meetings will give whatever help we can.

If you think you have a problem, the chances are you DO have a problem. It's only up to you to do something about it. Getting here is a good first step. I think getting to an AA meeting and listen to others share their experience will really help you get it all in perspective.

I've been sober for over two months now. Not a long time I know, but after 20 years of alcohol abuse it feels just fantastic. You've started a journey which is so worthwhile becuase it's the way to rediscover your self and your life.

Just take it all one day at a time. Don't stress yourself by planning ahead and worrying what lies round the next corner. It's only today that matters.

Keep coming back. We're all together in this.

Rich

asking4advice

wow, you guys are awesome... it's nice to know there's such caring people out there. it's not easy to tell others about stuff like this, even when it is anonymous, and it's scary for me to think that i do have a problem that i need to do something about.

i'm not proud of the fact, but alcohol isn't my only problem. about 2 months ago i finally realized i was addicted to a pretty dangerous drug. it's embarassing for me to talk about but i am glad that i got myself out of that situation. i had started using it when i was 18 and used it pretty regularly for about a year. i've had alot of **** happen in the past two years, and i think when you get down and out it's easy to not care what you're doing to yourself.... anyways about a year ago i ran into the person who first introduced me to it, and it started again, only i got really bad with it the second time around.... i was using every day, at work and at home. i had to have it or i literally would'nt be able to function. i finally realized what was happening and haven't used it at all in the past 2 months, but in order to do that i had to completely isolate myself from all the people and places associated with that drug, which sucked because some of those people i loved dearly, but i knew that was the only way. and i think that that addiction is one i will struggle with for the rest of my life, and i'm not sure how i feel about that. what i'm getting at is if that's how i had to quit drugs, how am i ever going to be able to quit drinking??? everyone i know drinks. i don't think it's something i can pretend isn't there. i guess i'm just going to have to learn to be around it and not do it, not want to do it. one down, one to go.


i really want to say thanks to all of you, it's pretty cool that there are complete strangers out there who care and understand, and mostly who have support for others. it means alot to me.

skunkape

Asking4Advice,

I'm in your exact shoes. I'm a 23 year old addict who finally had enough after 10 years of devastating abuse. I had to swallow my pride, confront my fears and cast away any doubts, and then I walked into an NA meeting. They told me to keep coming back and thats what I'm doing, and I've made more friends in the last couple weeks then in the last 5 years.

I'm going through the same thing with avoiding my "using" friends. All the people I talk to say it's impossible to keep them as friends anymore and I'm starting to believe it. Then when I actually think about the friendships they're based on little more than doing drugs anyways.

This website has been a powerful recovery tool for me, and I know it will be for you too. Good Luck!

quercusalba

You're welcome. The people here welcomed me with open arms - I can surely do the same for other newcomers.

I'm not surprised that there is something other than alcohol that you were using... it's the addictive personality that we have. It can extend itself into anything if we aren't careful. I am very thankful that I didn't ever try anything beyond alcohol... I would probably be dead now if I had, because I am just that way. I have been obsessive about a lot of things thanks to this alcoholic/addictive personality I have. I went to a meeting last week and watched another woman with this personality type - she'd come to the AA meeting from an NA meeting, and she ate sugary stuff the ENTIRE TIME she was at the meeting. She never stopped. She even ate packets of Kool Aid, pouring them into her mouth as she talked. One could see clearly the addictive behavior she *still* had in her life actively. I think that's true for many of us.

Anyhow... you did the right thing in separating yourself from your using friends. You weren't taking yourself away from them to hurt them... you were doing so to help yourself. You might have to try the same approach with alcohol, at least for a time. You should be very proud of yourself for what you have already accomplished. I know that it's harder for me not to drink (or to try sneaking a drink) when alcohol is flowing. Alternately, you might tell your friends that you are not drinking - I just told my extended family this weekend that I am an alcoholic. If you tell your friends about your problem, they can sort of be there as a group of people you are accountable to, in a way. Does that make sense?

At any rate, if you quit drugs, you can quit drinking, if that's what you know you want to do. You won't stay sober if you're on the fence about it - I know, because I've sat on that very fence many times.

We're here for you, for sure. You've stumbled into a good place. Best of luck to you.

Moontime

Moontime and I'm an addict. I would suggest hitting an NA meeting, we don't have a symptom disease. If I went to every meeting for every symptom I suffered I would be going to 5 meetings a day. We are a one stop shop,it doesn't matter what you use, your an addict when you say you are. This isn't the program that says some are unconstitutionally incaplable of receiving this. It says that an addict, any addict can stop using, lose the desire to use and give yourself a break. We suffer from the disease of Addiction. Give yourself a break. In our literature it says that the disease of addiction was present in our lives long before we took that first drug (alcohol is a drug), so I need to understand that just mere abstinence from drugs, isn't going to be the solution to the dilemma in which I suffer from. I need to understand that I needed to go to meetings, NA meetings for me. I needed to get a sponsor, and I needed to get working on steps, where the freedom is. Give yourself a break, there is another way of life. Lost Dreams Awaken, New Possiblities Arise..................

http://www.naohio.org/