Misc72

That drinking thinking is back... I've breezed through these 75 days for the most part, compared to past attempts. Wanted my own thread because sometimes in my class issues don't get addressed like they do in your own thread.

I'm feeling extraordinarily normal again. So the Drinking Thinking comes back. Like, I'm normal again... I'm re-wired... I can have just 1...

The drinking dreams are back... they are aweful... I hate them...

What is keeping me in tact is my personal goal to reach 90 days and I'm not willing to sacrifice my 75 days when I only have 15 days to go. Then I'll change it to 100 days... Anyway... it's just days...

I'm re-reading my Cost-Benefit Analysis in my SMART recovery. But the evil of relapse is that sometimes no matter how well equipped your plan is or will power or whatever... sometimes those urges win. It's only been since this week-end. So sudden and strange.

So that's why I'm posting my own thread. Feeling vulnerable so any sort of affirmations are welcome.

DontRemember

Very normal at 75 days..even 100+days. It's the way(tools used) you handle those thoughts/dreams that will get you through. Hang in there!

AshleyB

You can do this!!!!!!!!! Keep going. I'm proud of you. That kind of thinking is normal just ride out the waves as they come!!!!

doggonecarl

I had a drinking dream last night and I have over seven years without a drink. They're just dreams. Dreams of drinking isn't drinking. Thinking about drinking...that's not drinking. Drinking is drinking. As long as you don't drink, you're good.

You've posted about it. That's a great way to head off the decision to drink.

Zanna

Sounds like the curse of the milestone' I noticed myself and have seen others post over the months, that when we hit a milestone (one month, 3 months, even one year), that the thoughts start popping in. Ride the wave - I'm sure you'll feel a lot better when it's back to a random number - hope that makes sense, it's been a long day

Well done on 75 days - keep up the good work!

DarklingSong

Brilliant!! Love this......
I have started to have some thoughts about drinking too; this weekend got a bit wobbly after getting past my goal of 90 days.I am trying to understand why they come (I was feeling a bit anxious, just wanted to escape) but also I agree with the above. It will pass.....
Take care. And well done on 75 days.

Dee74

See, I couldn't have that mindset, Sunshine.

I had to believe that - if I did enough work, and put in enough effort - those urges would not, they could not , win.

Don't forfeit the game before you even set foot on the field.

Your past need not impact upon the present.

I relapsed hundreds of times...until I didn't

This time can be different
D

JimiC

Hey Sunshine, you're doing great. Stay strong! Hit that 100 days and keep going one day at a time.

Misc72

I try not to have that mindset either. It's just I've given in so many times before... However, I never had my written goals, hierarchy of values, cost-benefit analysis.

So when I re-read what my hands wrote down, it's clear... my son is at the top of the pyramid. Would my son want me to be that person. No. Would giving in even as a normie help me to accomplish any of my goals... No. Just a bad drinking thinking few days. I'm feeling stronger since this post. And since I re-read my plan...

Dee74

Every new tradition starts as a one time thing

D

biminiblue

Sunshine, one of the things I did in the early days is make a list (actually I was on the 24 Hour Recovery thread, and I used that list) of all the user names I could think of. You said your son would not want you to drink. Add all our names under his on that pyramid.

Sometimes I would think of having a drink and I would just start listing names in my head - it's pretty cool how many of them I could remember from this site. I would think, "Every one of those doggonecarl/Hevyn/BerryBeans would tell me not to do it!" ...and by listing them out, it would distract me and change my thoughts. Just a little tool I used.

You've got this.

SimplyFree

Hi Sunshine! I too had what seemed like a minor repeat of things that happened in the first days of sobriety. My AV came back alive, urges, mood swings. I was like "really", but yep it was nasty, but didn't last forever. Hang in there!! It does pass.

I just passed my 5 month mark.......I was glad I didn't give in at 100 days.

saoutchik

Congratulations on 75 days sunshine72!

The "I can have just one now" thought is one of our AVs most pernicious lies. Thoughts like that and the drinking dreams do still occur even years out but the gaps in between them increase over time.