Struggling for sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: NJ
Posts: 1
Struggling for sobriety
Hello all,
I have tried so many times to change my lifestyle to be Sober and Alcohol Free. Just when i think i have control on it, it shows me it still has control on me. Looking for any tips or advice on how to beat those cravings.
Thank you,
SEEKINGMYSELF2
I have tried so many times to change my lifestyle to be Sober and Alcohol Free. Just when i think i have control on it, it shows me it still has control on me. Looking for any tips or advice on how to beat those cravings.
Thank you,
SEEKINGMYSELF2
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi and welcome to SR. I think something that may help you is not thinking you can control it. If you are an alcoholic like us, we can't control it. The alternative is to quit. Take the temptation off the table completely. Very difficult at first, but gets easier with time and it well worth it.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome Seekingmyself.
For me, being able to talk about it here really helped. I had no one in my life who truly understood what I was going through. Everyone was a social drinker. I kept insisting for years that if I used enough willpower, I could be too - but it is not possible for an alcoholic. Once I admitted I never had any control once it was in my system, I was able to work on letting go of it and healing. You can do it.
For me, being able to talk about it here really helped. I had no one in my life who truly understood what I was going through. Everyone was a social drinker. I kept insisting for years that if I used enough willpower, I could be too - but it is not possible for an alcoholic. Once I admitted I never had any control once it was in my system, I was able to work on letting go of it and healing. You can do it.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
I think when I fully accepted that alcohol was no longer an option, ever, my mind began to find new ways to deal with things and the ups and downs of life. I wonder if, along with stopping drinking, you've made changes in your life to support your recovery?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
Welcome. On the ground support - to reset my default to a natural one of NO BOOZE. So SR Ddaily. Seeing my doc for checkups and depression. A psychologist- using CBT to cope with life and working thru c-PTSD.. A counsellor for everyday coping , without booze. MEETINGS- they are a real connection with people- to avoid relapse and isolating. Sometimes I do not listen - but the connection and commitment to my own sobriety makes me want to go. I walk a lot, drink a lot of water and avoid too much starchy food. I do art- a lot, it is to express, understand and learn. Also art is another forced social connection- I have joined an art group. Drinking alone made me disconnect with humans. I journal a great deal- not once a day- but progressively. Any little (or big) thing that causes me to think or feel. I read over these- and learn by what and how I wrote and why. I force myself to try new things- to get out of my isolated comfort zone. Like high ropes adventure, or snorkeling last year. This year- volunteering. Stuff that interests me..soon I have a prelim shift at the State museum. I go to libraries- and read community noticeboards for activities in my community.
I do not believe in wishes or luck. For me it has taken a great deal of hard work. It is worthwhile.
I do not believe in wishes or luck. For me it has taken a great deal of hard work. It is worthwhile.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Try to find something to take your mind off the cravings. For me it was just gong for a walk to get out of my current setting. Often it was only for 15 minutes but it was enough to re-set my thoughts until the next time cravings reared their ugly head. The cravings do subside. And like others have said, change your mind set to never having to drink again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome seekingmyself 
Like others have said accepting myself as an alcoholic was the first step to change for me.
I accepted it's the first drink that starts the carnage for me, not the last.
I finally worked out that I had quite a lot of say on whether I drank again or not. I wasn't a victim suddenly ambushed. I actually had a say in whether I drank or not. I just had to build up the alternatives to drinking list because I had none
I made changes in my life, my friends and what I did for fun, and I sought support to help me make those changes stick.
There's tons of support here - welcome aboard
Like others have said accepting myself as an alcoholic was the first step to change for me.
I accepted it's the first drink that starts the carnage for me, not the last.
I finally worked out that I had quite a lot of say on whether I drank again or not. I wasn't a victim suddenly ambushed. I actually had a say in whether I drank or not. I just had to build up the alternatives to drinking list because I had none
I made changes in my life, my friends and what I did for fun, and I sought support to help me make those changes stick.
There's tons of support here - welcome aboard
The New Me starting 1/11/09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
... Just when i think i have control on it, it shows me it still has control on me...
Welcome. For me, a certified control-freak, this was the hardest thing for me to understand.
How was I going to control my drinking when everyone told me it was uncontrollable?
What helped me was acknowledging that this problem was out of my control, I couldn't solve it alone and I needed to take actions that were uncomfortable and unfamiliar to me.
I stopped drinking because I stopped trying to control alcohol and just admitted defeat (not something I was used to doing). Then, I got into a recovery program and did what they told me to do even though I didn't get it, understand it and frankly thought it was pretty strange. But looking back, I see that it worked but I'm not sure why it worked; but that is the mystery of this thing called addiction.
My experience was that I couldn't do it alone, I needed a program of recovery (AA in my case) and I needed to be patient with myself.
Now that I have been sober for a long time, I still practice many of the principles I learned in my recovery program, even though I am not as active. I'll never be cured, but my life is quite different now from when I was drinking.
Please keep posting on SR, reach out to others for help and take action on your recovery. It gets easier with time.
Cheers,
NewMe
Welcome. For me, a certified control-freak, this was the hardest thing for me to understand.
How was I going to control my drinking when everyone told me it was uncontrollable?
What helped me was acknowledging that this problem was out of my control, I couldn't solve it alone and I needed to take actions that were uncomfortable and unfamiliar to me.
I stopped drinking because I stopped trying to control alcohol and just admitted defeat (not something I was used to doing). Then, I got into a recovery program and did what they told me to do even though I didn't get it, understand it and frankly thought it was pretty strange. But looking back, I see that it worked but I'm not sure why it worked; but that is the mystery of this thing called addiction.
My experience was that I couldn't do it alone, I needed a program of recovery (AA in my case) and I needed to be patient with myself.
Now that I have been sober for a long time, I still practice many of the principles I learned in my recovery program, even though I am not as active. I'll never be cured, but my life is quite different now from when I was drinking.
Please keep posting on SR, reach out to others for help and take action on your recovery. It gets easier with time.
Cheers,
NewMe
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
