kona5k

Hi everyone,

I'm on day 11 and I have a wedding this weekend. I am feeling very good about my sobriety and I haven't had any intense cravings to drink but I expect the cravings will be coming especially because I'm going to a wedding this weekend. I need help with a plan. Any ideas for how I can deal with this?

doggonecarl

Attend the wedding ceremony, skip the reception. That would be my suggestion. Eleven days sober is very early in recovery. Protect it.

DangerZone

I agree.

I am currently at 9-days but I had 7-years sober before and I can say the first month or two is going to be the hardest. It's best not to even tempt yourself in early recovery period with events like a wedding if you can help it. Wait until you have at least a month, ideally a couple months sober, then you should be good to go to events like that.

You might go and be fine but it's not worth the risk IMO. Just be careful and good luck.

CristinaN

I agree with Carl. Attend the wedding and skip the reception. Protect your sobriety at all costs. 💕

MidnightRider

Ok.. Last year about this time, I went out of town for a very close friend's wedding. I was in early recovery still... I went alone without my wife for cost savings reasons.

My plan... When I got to the reception place. I spent about 30 minutes in the parking lot of the reception. Mainly, I was "playing the tape forward". What I mean is,,,,, I thought about the evening and how and what I would drink. What I would do if I was tempted. How and when I would exit ....

I decided on drinking Club Soda with a lime. It looks like a drink .. right? So no one would question. Only thing ... I learned from my first drink to order it in a "short glass". Because bartender's tend to pour non-alcoholic drinks into those tall pint glasses. Which just looks like Sprite.

Also, I ALWAYS had my drink in hand... So no one would say "hey you need a drink"..... I prob had 6 or 7.. LOL - I woulda been quite buzzed.

I danced and had fun... BUT, I slipped out early. No need to stay to the end with all the "buzzed folks"... That may have been difficult.

Although, I surely noticed "many were wasted".. I did see "others" that were sober and not drinking. It was fun to people watch.

Lastly, I didn't tell anyone that I wasn't drinking. But was prepared to say, I was on medication and alcohol messed with it (white lie... But I didn't need to use it that night).. No one cared!

BEST TO YOU... Make a little plan... Play it over in your head. Stick to it... Slip out early.

LASTLY, I was soooo happy to drive back to the hotel.. SOBER. No chance of a DUI ! That was an empowering feeling.

Dee74

I agree with the consensus - if you need to go at all, skip the reception.

Nothing illustrates more the kind of hard decisions ewe have to make than knocking back social invites.

If you decide to go, reception and all, I wish you well - I'd read through this link tho:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)

kona5k

Thanks everyone, I'm learning toward going to the reception and leaving early.

kona5k

I just got home from the wedding and am in my pajamas! Good time and I'm sober! The ceremony was nice and I went to the reception for a bit, ate dinner, chatted with some folks, and then left very quietly.

I didn't have any cravings for alcohol. I was very confident I wasn't going to drink and I followed through. Only one person asked, "you aren't drinking?" And I said, "no, I'm driving." And that was the end of hat conversation.

Thank you to everyone here at SR. You give me hope and confidence that a sober life is worth it.

Kachal

That's awesome Kona5k!! I'm 13 days sober and I even though I've been to a couple of smaller events where people are drinking, I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to go to a wedding just yet. Well done to you!

Stronger2017

Really well done😁 You must be so proud of yourself.

Dee74

Glad all went well kona

D

least

Glad you stayed sober! Way to go!!

kona5k

I went on a nice walk/run earlier in the day and I really mentally prepared myself for the wedding/reception and "played the tape" through. It really helped to think through the steps of the night and what my day would be like tomorrow if I drank. Much easier, healthier and comforting to stay sober. I know if I drank I would have been the last one to leave the dance floor long after midnight. I probably would have spilled drinks on people or got into an argument with someone. Maybe even a drunk driving ticket.

I also think I've finally accepted that the first drink is what destroys me. I read someone here write about how drinking is like a train. Each drink is a car and the last drink is the caboose. The first drink is the locomotive that drives and moves the rest. I can't start that engine on the locomotive. It's not the caboose that I need to worry about, it is the locomotive.