Tori1

Hey there,

So this is my first post and I guess I just was hoping for some advice. I've recently detoxed from Alcohol and to much of my disappointment in myself relapsed 4 days ago after doing a solid 7. After life turned pear shaped and became unmanageable I moved in with my Parents up in a rural area which is great for being so far away from being able to hide my drinking and less easier access to purchasing it.
So after falling off the wagon I've started again and this is day 2... My Parents are both very heavy drinkers and I know being here means they hide they're drinking from me, hide booze and watch me like a Hawk!
The temptation is hard in this environment and it's hard to be strong watching them drink whilst staying focused. Tonight I've been told we're all going to a Venue this Saturday which if any Aussie's know is one of those large Sports Bars with Pokies ( Gambling machines) which has never been my issue but none the less is full of people getting intoxicated. I'd raised the issue last time I was here with them and they just got angry I didn't want to go because we should all be able to have a night out and enjoy ourselves. I ended up going and when I arrived back at the table from the bathroom they had a lite drink waiting for me... I was mortified. So the issue has arisen again, I want to spend time with my Family that has come here to visit but I don't think I feel strong enough.
I know the right answer is to decline but I just wish I could be the person that had enough strength to not be crawling out of my skin at the table or ruining everyone's time feeling anxious and silent & let's face it, pretty resentful and jealous of my family around me. I just don't know

HTown

You do not mention your age, but one of you in the family must be an adult To suggest an outing for you so early in recovery is very much denial from your family. Maybe they do not want to face their own issues. That is their cross to bear.
You need to find as much outside support as you can. Post here, read here. Have you tried locally? Perhaps AA?

Anna

Learning to say, 'No' was the single-most important thing I learned in early recovery. I think it's important to focus on yourself and what you need right now. It sounds like your environment is unhealthy and planning to go to a Sports Bar is definitely not a good place for you. Maybe you could consider stepping back from your family obligations until you feel more comfortable with your recovery? Have faith that you can do this!

Poppy79

I had a similar experience recently and it contributed to me having a little slip in sobriety after 9 months clean. My psych mentioned that our loved ones can sometimes subconsciously enable us in an attempt to see us fall.... then they can 'help' us. I found that shocking but he made sense.

Tori1

Thanks everyone, I know there's support here which I'm really grateful for, I'm just hanging in there before I enter my rehabilitation in 2 weeks. It's more the anxiety I'm worried about but I think the decision to avoid the outting is for the best at this stage.
Really appreciate the advice everyone & good luck to us all!

Dee74

Hi Tori

My advice is to decline. If you're living with your folksm even if you have other family visiting, it's not really a question of 'not spending time with them' - you must see them every day?

Treat your sobriety as precious - cos it really is

D