I Think I come down with "The Can't Help It's"
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1
I Think I come down with "The Can't Help It's"
Hello everyone😊Im glad I'm finally able to post. My phone wouldn't allow me for the longest time. Sorry to say whoever reads it probably won't be. 🤷*♀️ I'm 21 days sober today! I would love to yell at the top of my lungs YAY but in all actuality I'm mad, sad and depressed! I am and have been for 16 yrs an ALLDAY EVERYDAY (even if I was sick) beer drinking stay at home wife and mother. The reason I quit is for my health. No other reason than that. It didn't loss my job or my marriage or anything of that nature. My husband doesn't want me to be be a tee totalar and neither do I. Though I don't think I can stay just a social drinker. I really never embarrassed myself, I was/am a functioning alcoholic. But my liver has been compromised by drinking. (I think I may have had alcoholic hepatitis because of the pain in my liver was quite severe one Tuesday night 3 weeks ago). I was hospitalized last year for 3 days because I had a very high fever I couldn't get rid of or even go down. My platelets, WBC and red were all extremely too low. The Doc's all contributed most of my issue due to my liver! It was fatty😩! I then became Sober for about 2 months then back to the same ole way of life day after day. I just feel better with alcohol. The only plus I have being sober is that I don't have extremely crippling panic attacks and general anxiety much at all anymore. I do however take Ativan now daily .5 when needed no more than 2 a day. Used to I only took with absolute need. (Didn't want to be addicted to pills and alcohol too) ! My main ailment physically is I can't use the bathroom (#2) without help from medicine. My stomach is very bloated and uncomfortable. My skin looks bad, psoriasis has flared on the bottom of my foot and my face has red bumps on it. My whole body hurts! I almost couldn't sleep at all last night. My bones hurt extremely bad and my muscles. I've been riding my bike for 8-10 miles a day and attempted yoga a few times ( have a hard time with yoga) and I still feel aweful! In pain. My right shoulder was hurting before I quit and I think quitting has exasperated it. Not sure why? One thing I do like or love is the white of my eyes look white! I love that! And that's about it! Oh and I can drive anywhere if I want cause I'm sober, if I ever went anywhere! I have not much of a support system. All my biological children live with us. Boys, 22,18,16🤦🏼My 22 yr old has hepc and is an alcoholic and drinks here at my home everyday. I ask him not to. My 19 is a weed smoker and has no ambition. My 16 is in highschool stays busy with football and girlfriend. My two oldest are a great burden to me. Especially the 22 yr old. He's of a different character (very socially awkward). I feel sorry for him. Neither of them have a vehichle even though we purchased the two oldest one each at 16. They just won't, can't seem to stand on their own feet and put one foot in front of the other not sure they even want to. I don't know how to get them out of my house so I can take care of me. My husband..well He thinks anyone should be able to just not drink or just drink whenever they want and I can't do that. It's all or nothing for me I suppose. I know I'm rambling about depressing things and should be happy but I'm not. I'm a pessimistic person and I try and change my way of thinking but I guess I'm just not able to. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this and may you have a good day.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome to SR, Krisana!
This place can offer you a lot of encouragement and support if you want sobriety.
Congrats on 21 days sober; in time you'll probably start seeing more improvements in your health. It takes a while for our bodies to heal from the damage we've been heaping on it.
This place can offer you a lot of encouragement and support if you want sobriety.
Congrats on 21 days sober; in time you'll probably start seeing more improvements in your health. It takes a while for our bodies to heal from the damage we've been heaping on it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Originally Posted by Krisana 
My husband..well He thinks anyone should be able to just not drink or just drink whenever they want and I can't do that.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi Krisana 
congrats on 21 days.
It is possible to love without alcohol, and it's possible to give an awesome sober life.
I think with a history of fatty liver and alcoholism it's pretty much a necessity you look at abstinence.
If you keep drinking things are just going to get worse.
Your husband may not like the idea now but if it's the best way for you to go he'll surely come around?
D
congrats on 21 days.
It is possible to love without alcohol, and it's possible to give an awesome sober life.
I think with a history of fatty liver and alcoholism it's pretty much a necessity you look at abstinence.
If you keep drinking things are just going to get worse.
Your husband may not like the idea now but if it's the best way for you to go he'll surely come around?
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Hi Krisana and welcome.
How are you doing?
I think it's great you posted, and also fantastic that you have 3 weeks plus alcohol free. It sounds to me like you are ready to have a healthier life, which is huge. That will help you AND your family.
I wanted to respond because your message especially resonated with me: Your kids are almost exactly the age of my three. Getting sober should be what you do for yourself, but an extra and important side effect could be that it'll help them, too.
Seeing you work hard to make the changes you need to, to improve your health, your mood, your sleep, your looks, your life..... to CHOOSE BETTER for yourself is setting a great example for them, even while you do what's right for yourself. Years of drinking has clearly taken a toll on your liver and your overall health. You're giving yourself the chance now to heal, and you will get stronger every day. Next, many of us have found, comes the door opening wide on your life.. all the new opportunities for joy, fulfillment, rediscovering your old self and branching off into new experiences, that had been shut down, dulled or derailed by alcohol.
Alcohol may numb you, but it also robs you of engaging for REAL in life. I know you probably would wish for a chemical free, healthy, engaged life for your two older sons, and for your 16 year old behind them. Help yourself, and help them too. Maybe you miss the promise of the escape of alcohol now, but it's an illusion. A lie. Life can and SHOULD be so much better. You DESERVE better.
Please let us know how you are. There are many good resources here and a lot of smart, experienced people who can make suggestions for you on how to start embracing a sober life, rather than just gritting it out for the sake of your health, and how to help your sons too.
Best wishes to you!
How are you doing?
I think it's great you posted, and also fantastic that you have 3 weeks plus alcohol free. It sounds to me like you are ready to have a healthier life, which is huge. That will help you AND your family.
I wanted to respond because your message especially resonated with me: Your kids are almost exactly the age of my three. Getting sober should be what you do for yourself, but an extra and important side effect could be that it'll help them, too.
Seeing you work hard to make the changes you need to, to improve your health, your mood, your sleep, your looks, your life..... to CHOOSE BETTER for yourself is setting a great example for them, even while you do what's right for yourself. Years of drinking has clearly taken a toll on your liver and your overall health. You're giving yourself the chance now to heal, and you will get stronger every day. Next, many of us have found, comes the door opening wide on your life.. all the new opportunities for joy, fulfillment, rediscovering your old self and branching off into new experiences, that had been shut down, dulled or derailed by alcohol.
Alcohol may numb you, but it also robs you of engaging for REAL in life. I know you probably would wish for a chemical free, healthy, engaged life for your two older sons, and for your 16 year old behind them. Help yourself, and help them too. Maybe you miss the promise of the escape of alcohol now, but it's an illusion. A lie. Life can and SHOULD be so much better. You DESERVE better.
Please let us know how you are. There are many good resources here and a lot of smart, experienced people who can make suggestions for you on how to start embracing a sober life, rather than just gritting it out for the sake of your health, and how to help your sons too.
Best wishes to you!
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