Pressmetilihurt

My therapist at my outpatient rehab wants me to do stuff. My sponsor wants stuff. It's so hard for me to do what I'm told. It seems I have to submit my will and just follow. Suggestions? Experience? Thanks.

MythOfSisyphus

I don't know, Pressmetilihurt. It depends on what you're being told I suppose. At some point it comes down to trusting folks that have experience and knowledge that can help, and believing in the need to do it.

FreedomCA

I think it's a balance between doing stuff to help you get better but not going overboard so that you start to feel overwhelmed. Find a balance in getting help.

Dee74

I promise you that whatever you put into your recovery you'll get back again.

Why not try everything, then choose what works best for you?

D

August252015

^^^^ Ditto what Dee said.

Likely, your sponsor and the rehab people are in sync so there's probably "overlap."

For me, breathing, making a list of to-dos and breaking it down in manageable chunks- as I did what I was told even if I didn't understand why at the time, or it felt uncomfortable- led me through the steps, to a pretty solid understanding and familiarity with the big book, to discipline my recovery (for example, there are 6 recovery things I do EVERY morning, and my sweet spot for mtgs, here at 567 days is 4-6 a week).......I wanted what these people had- the new freedom and new peace, and a way to intuitively handle things that used to baffle me (BB para) - and believed them when they said it works if you work it.

Good luck making good choices to build a strong recovery. You can do it.

aasharon90

Share with us the "stuff" that is suggested
for you to do. I'm pretty sure many of us
living a recovery life have been there, done
many of those same similar things thru out
our sobriety.

Finding balance and responsibility in
all those suggestion will help you become
successful in your own recovery life
for many one days ahead of you.

Pressmetilihurt

Thank u for all the responses. I know it's not a lot what they're asking. And it's for my benefit. 1. Go to recovery meetings every day. 2. Go to the support groups at the outpatient rehab. 3. Call my sponsor every day. 4. Meet my sponsor once a week.
Ha. It sounds like very little. But my history is that I always end up failing. I stop following direction. Stop doing the things that support sobriety and I drink. I don't want to drink. But my ego always pops up. It says, "hey, you got this. You don't gotta do all that stuff."

Dee74

But surely you have enough raw evidence from history now to know that yes you do need to do this stuff?

I agree - it doesn't sound that much - I was expecting a much longer list, to be honest, press.

D

August252015

I had to want to go to any lengths to get what the people I saw around me- thriving and having REAL and full lives- had.

I found that a list like that, or my version of it, gradually became normal to me. Now, I call or text my sponsor and program friends reflexively, I pull out the BB, come on SR or look at other program material for support, I pray, I go to meetings...I "tell on myself" when something is bothering me....it's my way of life.

I can promise you it's a far better life than I ever imagined I could have.

I hope you choose to take a chance on finding that yourself.

Gottalife

I was quite busy in the early days too. I could have multiplied your list by ten and still drank again, because it wasn't enough. It wasn't that I wasn't trying things, just that my recipe lacked a vital ingredient. The steps. I didn't want to do them and there were plenty of fools around to assure me that I didn't have to.

When I understood the first step I realized "I do gotta do that stuff,"or I won't survive. As long as I labored under the delusion that I had other options, I kept failing.

FreeOwl

one at a time.

Pathwaytofree

Hi August, I'm curious how you discipline your recovery and what are the 6 recovery things you do every morning? Thanks from someone with lousy discipline...

tomsteve

reading from the book Twenty Four Hours a Day
January 6
A.A. Thought for the Day

Keeping sober is the most important thing in my life. The most important decision I ever made was my decision to give up drinking. I am convinced that my whole life depends on not taking that first drink. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my own sobriety. Everything I have, my whole life, depends on that one thing. Can I afford ever to forget this, even for one minute?

Meditation for the Day

I will discipline myself. I will do this disciplining now. I will turn out all useless thoughts. I know that the goodness of my life is a necessary foundation for its usefulness. I will welcome this training, for without it, God cannot give me His power. I believe that this power is a mighty power when it is used in the right way.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may face and accept whatever discipline is necessary. I pray that I may be fit to receive God's power in my life.

August252015

My routine had form to it from the beginning when I made lists of to-dos - I was really sick so each morning it was SUCH basic stuff like 1 make the bed 2 eat twice 3 go to a meeting.

My routine took real shape with my first sponsor who had me call her every day at 815. From there, I created (some of it from her direction, then stuff I added) the 6 item routine- I write it down on my page in the day planner and cross each thing off, every single day (I am 568 days sober now).
1 Read pp 84-88 and 417-418 of the BB - this includes taking the p 86 inventory of my day prior
2 Read the daily emailed devotional from Fr Richard Rohr of the CAC - I love his messages and many connect to recovery
3 a shared Bible App reading plan my fiance (also in recovery) and I do- we've been doing it awhile now and the readings have ranged from 3 days long to 100 - all kinds of topics and from a variety of writers including Rick Warren, etc
4 Visit SR
5 HALT- I check to see how I am feeling, how I slept, what I ate the day before etc
6 daily devotional from a year-long book - this year it is Jesus Today by Sarah Young - in my first year of sobriety last year, I used the great Hazelden book Keep It Simple: Meditations for 12 Step Beginnings and Renewals.

I also have a bookmark with the St Francis prayer on one side (that inventory is on the other) and I pick one of the "things" for my day's focus- ie to love rather than worry about being loved, to understand, rather than be understood, etc. I write something connected to this as a quick prayer on the day in my planner, too.

I do this stuff EVERY day- no matter how early I have to get up or whether we're on a romantic trip or it's a holiday.

I also did about 82 in 90 AA meetings (the 90/90 recommended) and at first it was pretty much the noon meeting every day at one large clubhouse. Now, my sweet spot is 4-6 a week and I have a different home group and my schedule varies a little around my other commitments.

I have not sponsored anyone yet. But I do lead a recovery (not AA or NA based) group for restaurant industry folks (where I have worked the past seven years, before I got sober and since) that I am working to grow here in Atlanta.

Now, my current sponsor and I (not the original one) are in touch pretty much daily by text or phone, she is one of the first people I go to with pretty much anything, and we either see each other at our MWF home group or find time to get together just us every few weeks.

Hope this answers your questions!

MindfulMan

Having similar issues with the outpatient therapist, but finding it easier as time goes by. Five weeks in and followed inpatient rehab with a two month gap. Hopefully it will get better.

Haven't gotten a sponsor and started step work yet. I think it would he hard to do outpatient and step work at the same time as IOP, but YMMV.