First post - The cravings are intense
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 20
First post - The cravings are intense
Here goes.
I can’t stop drinking even when it pains me to. I make myself walk to the liquor store and often I am crying all the way there and all the way back until I can numb with that first shot. Which leads to more shots and pretty soon I am on day four of a binge. I can go without drinking for days at a time. I did over a month not too long ago. I start feeling pretty good and sleeping well after about 5 days once the depression has lifted enough to see clearly (I should mention I’m bipolar).
And then the craving hits…out of nowhere. It’s so INTENSE. I distract myself. I read. Watch TV. I walk, sometimes for hours at a time to try and shake it, but it’s relentless.
A bit of a back story. I’ve always struggled with alcohol addiction and until recently, I’ve been able to control it for the most part. But, in December I discovered that my husband was in the middle of a 3 month affair. I was devastated. It’s been a very hard year and while at first the last thing I wanted was booze, it has now become the thing I use to numb when I just can’t bear to feel anymore pain.
I know it’s a problem. I just can’t seem to get control of it and I need help.
I can’t stop drinking even when it pains me to. I make myself walk to the liquor store and often I am crying all the way there and all the way back until I can numb with that first shot. Which leads to more shots and pretty soon I am on day four of a binge. I can go without drinking for days at a time. I did over a month not too long ago. I start feeling pretty good and sleeping well after about 5 days once the depression has lifted enough to see clearly (I should mention I’m bipolar).
And then the craving hits…out of nowhere. It’s so INTENSE. I distract myself. I read. Watch TV. I walk, sometimes for hours at a time to try and shake it, but it’s relentless.
A bit of a back story. I’ve always struggled with alcohol addiction and until recently, I’ve been able to control it for the most part. But, in December I discovered that my husband was in the middle of a 3 month affair. I was devastated. It’s been a very hard year and while at first the last thing I wanted was booze, it has now become the thing I use to numb when I just can’t bear to feel anymore pain.
I know it’s a problem. I just can’t seem to get control of it and I need help.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
Welcome!
Your plan of distracting yourself is a good one. And, each time you get through a craving, it will get easier. That's really the only way to do it. It does get easier with time. I'm glad you are ready to stop drinking. You will be much more able to cope with things in your life.
Your plan of distracting yourself is a good one. And, each time you get through a craving, it will get easier. That's really the only way to do it. It does get easier with time. I'm glad you are ready to stop drinking. You will be much more able to cope with things in your life.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
Hi berryblue 
I found the more i dealt with cravings the weaker they got and the stronger I got.
They may seem intense, but you can get through them and they will pass
There are some good ideas here too:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
Glad to have you join us - welcome!
D
I found the more i dealt with cravings the weaker they got and the stronger I got.
They may seem intense, but you can get through them and they will pass
There are some good ideas here too:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
Glad to have you join us - welcome!
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 20
Thanks for the responses!
I literally just read that cravings post you suggested (among a bunch of others) and I have it bookmarked for when I need it again. I’m trying to arm myself with activities, distractions and bookmarked posts that I’ve found helpful because when the craving hits, all the negatives that come with drinking again seem to be very easily forgotten. I can come up with stronger pros for drinking than cons in those moments.
I literally just read that cravings post you suggested (among a bunch of others) and I have it bookmarked for when I need it again. I’m trying to arm myself with activities, distractions and bookmarked posts that I’ve found helpful because when the craving hits, all the negatives that come with drinking again seem to be very easily forgotten. I can come up with stronger pros for drinking than cons in those moments.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,773
Welcome to the family. 
The longer you're sober, the more faint the cravings get til eventually you won't even notice them anymore. It took me a few months, but it was worth it. Now I rarely think about drinking, and when the stray thought pops up, it's easily dismissed.
The longer you're sober, the more faint the cravings get til eventually you won't even notice them anymore. It took me a few months, but it was worth it. Now I rarely think about drinking, and when the stray thought pops up, it's easily dismissed. Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Glad to meet you, berryblue! You found a helpful & encouraging place - we all understand what you're going through.
I always thought drinking was helping me cope - seeing me through rough times. It was doing just the opposite - making me numb and foggy, and unable to make good decisions. We need to be clearheaded to face troubles. I'm glad you realize it's time to stop relying on alcohol. It helps to read and post here.
I always thought drinking was helping me cope - seeing me through rough times. It was doing just the opposite - making me numb and foggy, and unable to make good decisions. We need to be clearheaded to face troubles. I'm glad you realize it's time to stop relying on alcohol. It helps to read and post here.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,658
Welcome BB! Distraction works- for me, for a while. BUT hte same feelings- be it cravings for you- flashbacks (c-PTSD) for me..always return I need to plug away at those feelings too. A charging lion can be distracted- but if it really want food- it will keep coming. So I try and wear my lion down (crappy metaphor). For me that means support. Meetings, counselor, doc- psychologist..to plug away. Support to you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ 
Welcome BB! Distraction works- for me, for a while. BUT hte same feelings- be it cravings for you- flashbacks (c-PTSD) for me..always return I need to plug away at those feelings too. A charging lion can be distracted- but if it really want food- it will keep coming. So I try and wear my lion down (crappy metaphor). For me that means support. Meetings, counselor, doc- psychologist..to plug away. Support to you.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Does your med psychiatrist know you're having addiction issues?
Meds don't work the same if you're drinking.
My PCP insisted that I get a psych consult or she wouldn't treat me anymore. The psychiatrist strongly suggested rehab, where I was tapered off the alcohol with the help of a 9 day benzo taper.
I also have bipolar disorder, which I had tried to self-medicate with alcohol and cocaine. They got my meds back on track after rehab, and the difference is amazing. It's very easy to get into the vicious circle of bipolar depression, which leads to drinking, which leads to more bipolar depression, which leads to more drinking. Rehab put an knife in the circle. Not suggesting this should be your course of treatment, but your P-Doc might be able to help as well.
It's a team approach, and everyone can help. Now's the time to use every resource you have!
Meds don't work the same if you're drinking.
My PCP insisted that I get a psych consult or she wouldn't treat me anymore. The psychiatrist strongly suggested rehab, where I was tapered off the alcohol with the help of a 9 day benzo taper.
I also have bipolar disorder, which I had tried to self-medicate with alcohol and cocaine. They got my meds back on track after rehab, and the difference is amazing. It's very easy to get into the vicious circle of bipolar depression, which leads to drinking, which leads to more bipolar depression, which leads to more drinking. Rehab put an knife in the circle. Not suggesting this should be your course of treatment, but your P-Doc might be able to help as well.
It's a team approach, and everyone can help. Now's the time to use every resource you have!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by MindfulMan
Does your med psychiatrist know you're having addiction issues?
Meds don't work the same if you're drinking.
My PCP insisted that I get a psych consult or she wouldn't treat me anymore. The psychiatrist strongly suggested rehab, where I was tapered off the alcohol with the help of a 9 day benzo taper.
I also have bipolar disorder, which I had tried to self-medicate with alcohol and cocaine. They got my meds back on track after rehab, and the difference is amazing. It's very easy to get into the vicious circle of bipolar depression, which leads to drinking, which leads to more bipolar depression, which leads to more drinking. Rehab put an knife in the circle. Not suggesting this should be your course of treatment, but your P-Doc might be able to help as well.
It's a team approach, and everyone can help. Now's the time to use every resource you have!
Meds don't work the same if you're drinking.
My PCP insisted that I get a psych consult or she wouldn't treat me anymore. The psychiatrist strongly suggested rehab, where I was tapered off the alcohol with the help of a 9 day benzo taper.
I also have bipolar disorder, which I had tried to self-medicate with alcohol and cocaine. They got my meds back on track after rehab, and the difference is amazing. It's very easy to get into the vicious circle of bipolar depression, which leads to drinking, which leads to more bipolar depression, which leads to more drinking. Rehab put an knife in the circle. Not suggesting this should be your course of treatment, but your P-Doc might be able to help as well.
It's a team approach, and everyone can help. Now's the time to use every resource you have!
You are dead on about the bipolar depression and drinking cycle. It's vicious.
Thank-you for your input. I know mental illness and addiction is not a rare combination and it helps to hear what others think.
(By the way, do people get alerts if they are quoted?)
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 928
I totally understand about the cravings. Mine get so intense the only thing I can think about is a drink. I'm having them tonight matter of fact. I'm glad I read your post.
Some folks don't seem to have them as bad. Mine are at their worst when I have some sort of personal problem and I can't seem to come up with a solution. I get frustrated and get triggered.
I'm also on meds and shouldn't be drinking. I wish my cravings were convinced to go away by logic (health, meds, hangovers, money, stupidity, etc).
Some folks don't seem to have them as bad. Mine are at their worst when I have some sort of personal problem and I can't seem to come up with a solution. I get frustrated and get triggered.
I'm also on meds and shouldn't be drinking. I wish my cravings were convinced to go away by logic (health, meds, hangovers, money, stupidity, etc).
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