Sober and horible
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 5
Sober and horible
Hi all. I abused alcohol for around 25-30 years. I started around 13 years old and from the age of 18 until the age of 42 I havnt gone more than 2 weeks without drinking. I was always more of a binge drinker than an everyday one but I did drink several days of the week. I hardly ever drank in the day or drank all day. I know at some point early on like around 18 years old I was drinking becouse it made me feel good and relaxed me. For the last 15 years I was on a anti depressent and continued to drink. I was having fun enjoying life living it up all those years but recently something happened and caused me to quit drinking. I was drinking more and more often just before I quite. I seemed to be getting depression and anxiety when I wasn't drinking. I couldn't wait to drink again as I could not relax without it anymore. I have been sober for 7 months and still have horrible anxiety. I just can't relax and am always nervous feeling. I am trying to find answers as I really do not known how I am supposed to be feeling because I havnt gone this long without drinking since I was young. Any thoughts or ideas? I don't know if this is my normal mental illness or if it's antidepressent medication or alchohol induced symptoms. I quit drinking and went off my original and new antidepressent. Do most people feel pretty good after being sober after 7 months. Everone I know that quit say they did't have any problems. I just want to know if I should try to wait it out longer before I play anti depressent roulette again. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I havnt enjoyed life or been able to relax in 7 months. Thanks
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,668
Madman- welcome. Congrats on 7 months. I kind of have a pattern that began like yours in drinking. Anxiety and depression are not magically fixed or go away with sobriety. SOME people feel great- have a honeymoon- or pink cloud time initially, but all alcohol did for me was mask my anxiety and depression. So when I stopped drinking- I had no way to hide from them.
Only a change in what I did and how I felt through changing my thinking has made an impact. It is hard work- but with the guidance of a counselor and a psychologist using CBT- I am making head way. As my drinking was was interwoven with the reasons why I drank- support with staying sober is also necessary- which means going to regular meetings- AA. Hope and luck do not work with out action. I also keep regular checkups with my doc. I will most likely be on an antidepressant for life- but it helps level out my moods, which then allows me to deal with every day life. Look around the newcomer's threads....for example you might want to join the 'Class of September 2017' group. That way you get to know people- and over time, learn from them and give/get support. SR is brilliant for me- especially at night.
Keep posting. Empathy and support to you. PJ
Only a change in what I did and how I felt through changing my thinking has made an impact. It is hard work- but with the guidance of a counselor and a psychologist using CBT- I am making head way. As my drinking was was interwoven with the reasons why I drank- support with staying sober is also necessary- which means going to regular meetings- AA. Hope and luck do not work with out action. I also keep regular checkups with my doc. I will most likely be on an antidepressant for life- but it helps level out my moods, which then allows me to deal with every day life. Look around the newcomer's threads....for example you might want to join the 'Class of September 2017' group. That way you get to know people- and over time, learn from them and give/get support. SR is brilliant for me- especially at night.
Keep posting. Empathy and support to you. PJ
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Congratulations on 7 months of sobriety. That's terrific.
I don't think you should play anti-depressant roulette at all. What does your dr suggest? Did he tell you to stop taking both of the anti-depressants? I know it can be hard to find one that works for you, but it's worth it.
You can learn to manage your anxiety by meditating, exercising, and, maybe changing some things in your lifestyle.
Belly Breathing:is really helpful to calm yourself:
Sit comfortably, with your shoulders, head and neck relaxed.
Breathe in slowly through your nose so that your stomach moves out.
Tighten your stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Some great books on managing anxiety:
Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places That Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain That Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne The Power of Intention and Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful way Through Anxiety
I don't think you should play anti-depressant roulette at all. What does your dr suggest? Did he tell you to stop taking both of the anti-depressants? I know it can be hard to find one that works for you, but it's worth it.
You can learn to manage your anxiety by meditating, exercising, and, maybe changing some things in your lifestyle.
Belly Breathing:is really helpful to calm yourself:
Sit comfortably, with your shoulders, head and neck relaxed.
Breathe in slowly through your nose so that your stomach moves out.
Tighten your stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Some great books on managing anxiety:
Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places That Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain That Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne The Power of Intention and Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful way Through Anxiety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ 
Madman- welcome. Congrats on 7 months. I kind of have a pattern that began like yours in drinking. Anxiety and depression are not magically fixed or go away with sobriety. SOME people feel great- have a honeymoon- or pink cloud time initially, but all alcohol did for me was mask my anxiety and depression. So when I stopped drinking- I had no way to hide from them.
Only a change in what I did and how I felt through changing my thinking has made an impact. It is hard work- but with the guidance of a counselor and a psychologist using CBT- I am making head way. As my drinking was was interwoven with the reasons why I drank- support with staying sober is also necessary- which means going to regular meetings- AA. Hope and luck do not work with out action. I also keep regular checkups with my doc. I will most likely be on an antidepressant for life- but it helps level out my moods, which then allows me to deal with every day life. Look around the newcomer's threads....for example you might want to join the 'Class of September 2017' group. That way you get to know people- and over time, learn from them and give/get support. SR is brilliant for me- especially at night.
Keep posting. Empathy and support to you. PJ
Only a change in what I did and how I felt through changing my thinking has made an impact. It is hard work- but with the guidance of a counselor and a psychologist using CBT- I am making head way. As my drinking was was interwoven with the reasons why I drank- support with staying sober is also necessary- which means going to regular meetings- AA. Hope and luck do not work with out action. I also keep regular checkups with my doc. I will most likely be on an antidepressant for life- but it helps level out my moods, which then allows me to deal with every day life. Look around the newcomer's threads....for example you might want to join the 'Class of September 2017' group. That way you get to know people- and over time, learn from them and give/get support. SR is brilliant for me- especially at night.
Keep posting. Empathy and support to you. PJ
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by Anna
Congratulations on 7 months of sobriety. That's terrific.
I don't think you should play anti-depressant roulette at all. What does your dr suggest? Did he tell you to stop taking both of the anti-depressants? I know it can be hard to find one that works for you, but it's worth it.
You can learn to manage your anxiety by meditating, exercising, and, maybe changing some things in your lifestyle.
Belly Breathing:is really helpful to calm yourself:
Sit comfortably, with your shoulders, head and neck relaxed.
Breathe in slowly through your nose so that your stomach moves out.
Tighten your stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Some great books on managing anxiety:
Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places That Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain That Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne The Power of Intention and Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful way Through Anxiety
I don't think you should play anti-depressant roulette at all. What does your dr suggest? Did he tell you to stop taking both of the anti-depressants? I know it can be hard to find one that works for you, but it's worth it.
You can learn to manage your anxiety by meditating, exercising, and, maybe changing some things in your lifestyle.
Belly Breathing:is really helpful to calm yourself:
Sit comfortably, with your shoulders, head and neck relaxed.
Breathe in slowly through your nose so that your stomach moves out.
Tighten your stomach muscles, letting them fall inward as you exhale slowly through your mouth.
Some great books on managing anxiety:
Amen, Daniel Change Your Brain, Change Your Life
Bassett, Lucinda From Panic to Power
Burns, David MD When Panic Attacks
Chodron, Pema The Places That Scare You
Doidge, Norman MD The Brain That Changes Itself
Dyer, Wayne The Power of Intention and Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
Orsilla, Ken Mindful way Through Anxiety
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
One thing I've learned is that if you suffer from depression stopping drinking isn't necessarily going to make that go away. I've suffered from depression most of my adult life and used alcohol to self medicate. I've been sober two years and still have depression. I've learned to live with that and make the best of it. But talk to your doctor. He/she and you can make the best decision for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by icandothis20
Do you do any type of yoga, exercise, meditation, reading or deep breathing? I have found it to be my life line.... conrgats on 7 months sober
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
+1 for breathing exercises and physical activity. I'm at seven months plus a bit, and for me anxiety was almost residual -- like I had to give myself permission to be at ease and stop catastrophizing after I stopped drinking.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
+2 for breathing and mindfulness exercises.
I got on a nice cocktail of 2 ADs and a mood stabilizer which is working wonders for anxiety and bipolar depression. Talk to your doctor, YMMV.
Going off antidepressants cold turkey is generally NOT a good idea.
I got on a nice cocktail of 2 ADs and a mood stabilizer which is working wonders for anxiety and bipolar depression. Talk to your doctor, YMMV.
Going off antidepressants cold turkey is generally NOT a good idea.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Just a general observation over the years.
If alcohol is the problem, when someone stops drinking then everything gets better. 7 months and everything will be good.
If alcoholism is the problem, and nothing is done to treat it, then after seven months of not drinking. The alcoholic is just about ready to blow his brains out. Or he may drink. Life for a sober alcoholic living with untreated alcoholism is no bed of roses.
If alcohol is the problem, when someone stops drinking then everything gets better. 7 months and everything will be good.
If alcoholism is the problem, and nothing is done to treat it, then after seven months of not drinking. The alcoholic is just about ready to blow his brains out. Or he may drink. Life for a sober alcoholic living with untreated alcoholism is no bed of roses.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
In the Big Book of AA it talks about alcoholics without alcohol as being 'Restless, irritable and discontent.' The whole reason the 12-step program of recovery was devised, and the reason why people put themselves through the work involved in AA is that we see the 12-step program working for others as they stop being so badly affected by tha reslessness, irritability and discontentment. They are comfortable in the sobriety. Happy even. And we want some of that!!
At 6 months sober I'd been going to one or two AA meetings a week. Sitting drinking coffee and listening - sometimes even sharing (probably moaning about my life and how unfair it was and how awful I was feeling). I'd kind of reached a new sober rock-bottom at that point. My counsellor (that my boss in desperation) had referred me to couldn't help much, because I couldn't bring myself to be honest enough with her for that to be the case, and I didn't find the Doctor wasn't so helpful (I didn't really think he understood much so I dismissed his input - after all, what did he know!!??!! He wasn't saying anything I wanted to hear!!).
In the end - after a few months of Tsunami style negative emotions and having read an article about PAWs earlier that weekend, I sat in an AA meeting (waiting for the sobriety fairy to fly over and sprinkle me with her recovery dust) and suddenly realised (as 'How It Works' was read out) that I really DID need to work on my recovery after all- just like everyone else, and recalled that the 12-step program that all these contented and comfortable people attributed their healthy sobriety to had even been mentioned on the PAWs article. So half an hour later (no procrastination this time) I asked someone to be my sponsor and over the next few months worked really hard on my recovery. It really was a turning point. I really hope I never have to go back to that dark place again.
This is the PAWs article just in case that helps....
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
I don't know if this will be helpful to you or not as you haven't said much about what your recovery plan is looking like on a daily and ongoing basis. Perhaps sharing your recovery plan would be a good next step on here, as this will help others give more pertinent and helpful suggestions than I may have managed to.
Anyway - regardless of what your plan is, it's probably worth looking throug this thread of Dee's and seeing if there is something suggested there which you haven't yet tried...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
Reading and posting here regularly can be a really good tool for finding things that make sober living easier, so I hope we'll get to read more posts from you going forward.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and your recovery. BB
At 6 months sober I'd been going to one or two AA meetings a week. Sitting drinking coffee and listening - sometimes even sharing (probably moaning about my life and how unfair it was and how awful I was feeling). I'd kind of reached a new sober rock-bottom at that point. My counsellor (that my boss in desperation) had referred me to couldn't help much, because I couldn't bring myself to be honest enough with her for that to be the case, and I didn't find the Doctor wasn't so helpful (I didn't really think he understood much so I dismissed his input - after all, what did he know!!??!! He wasn't saying anything I wanted to hear!!).
In the end - after a few months of Tsunami style negative emotions and having read an article about PAWs earlier that weekend, I sat in an AA meeting (waiting for the sobriety fairy to fly over and sprinkle me with her recovery dust) and suddenly realised (as 'How It Works' was read out) that I really DID need to work on my recovery after all- just like everyone else, and recalled that the 12-step program that all these contented and comfortable people attributed their healthy sobriety to had even been mentioned on the PAWs article. So half an hour later (no procrastination this time) I asked someone to be my sponsor and over the next few months worked really hard on my recovery. It really was a turning point. I really hope I never have to go back to that dark place again.
This is the PAWs article just in case that helps....
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/
I don't know if this will be helpful to you or not as you haven't said much about what your recovery plan is looking like on a daily and ongoing basis. Perhaps sharing your recovery plan would be a good next step on here, as this will help others give more pertinent and helpful suggestions than I may have managed to.
Anyway - regardless of what your plan is, it's probably worth looking throug this thread of Dee's and seeing if there is something suggested there which you haven't yet tried...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
Reading and posting here regularly can be a really good tool for finding things that make sober living easier, so I hope we'll get to read more posts from you going forward.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and your recovery. BB
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Oregon U.S.
Posts: 1,023
My roughest times or at least my lowest times were around 8 months. Check out the PAWS article that Berrybean linked, I found it helpful. Just keep at it and keep adding to your toolbox.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Madman270 7 months is fantastic .
I cant add anything to the above
some great advice up there which I will be taking too .
This is what I love about SR , someones issue can be so like our own so forgive me for stealing your advice even though i,m much earlier in my sober time it still applies .
I cant add anything to the above
some great advice up there which I will be taking too .
This is what I love about SR , someones issue can be so like our own so forgive me for stealing your advice even though i,m much earlier in my sober time it still applies .
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