honeypig

Well, I got an email from my bank wishing me a happy 3rd anniversary as a customer w/them. This kind of takes me by surprise every year, and every year I remember going to the bank where XAH and I had our joint accounts, heart pounding, feeling like my knees would give way, and taking half of the money out of each account to start my OWN bank accounts.

I mean, imagine THAT--why would I feel entitled to have my own money?!? I'd worked a 2nd job and/or worked OT for a fair portion of the marriage, trying to "get ahead." Silly me, I didn't realize that was an impossibility while living w/an active A and allowing him to keep the books. I KNEW he was messing w/the books prior to this, but I couldn't take that job away from him--he might think I didn't trust him! And all this while, XAH stalwartly refused to work the tiniest bit of OT when it was offered, let alone think about a 2nd job. He needed "me time", he said...

And I fretted and worried about having enough money on just my one income after we divorced. Again, silly me. I am better off financially, even paying all the property taxes, utilities, maintenance, and a car payment (which he and I had not had for many, many years) by myself. I will never know for sure how much $$ was going out the door for cigs and booze, but I do know for sure that it was much more than I would have ever believed, if the state of things now is any indication.

So happy anniversary to me, weird though it has been each time. Anybody else got any weird anniversary stories to share?

Seren

Happy Independence Day, HP!

LeeJane

Wishing you a very happy anniversary.

BeachPlease

Happy Anniversary. It may be a strange one, but it's a good one.

Sasha1972

I had a similar experience - I was worried about how I would do financially when I separated from ex, but found to my surprise that I could still maintain the same standard of living on one salary as I had had as part of a household of two, and could actually save more money for retirement, Kid's college, and a rainy-day fund. I hadn't realized how much was disappearing into alcohol (and related luxury expenditures ). I too had let ex handle most of the financial details, so I got schooled in personal finance pretty quickly when the breakup happened ...

Ladybird579

Same here. I worried how we'd live too but we live happily on a quarter of the money when previously we were permanantly overdrawn and I had to take out bank loans to cover basic expenses as all the money had drained away on booze and cigs. However, at the time, it was me who was the spendthrift according to exah.

honeypig

Thanks for the anniversary wishes and shares, my friends!

dejavuwife

My parents used to tell me that a college degree was good divorce insurance...they are still happily married today.

I think they should add to the list "ability to have own bank account"--KNOWING that you can support yourself no matter what happens is priceless!

LeeJane

I totally love that my money is separate to my AH's.

firebolt

Happy Anniversary Honeypig!

mylifeismine

Happy Anniversary Honeypig! What a novel way to be reminded
every year of your inner strength & courage and that a bank could
do that!!!!!