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Fell off but..

Old 09-10-2017, 02:21 PM
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Fell off but..

Hi All,

So I haven't posted in a while. On August 22nd, after full 15 weeks, i.e. 105 days, I fell off. I had a terrible day and then some guys invited me to dinner, and as soon as I sat at the table, I asked for a drink in a stupor, viciously, determined to numb the pain. And that led to many more as you can imagine.

The three weeks since have been, well, not dry but I have been able to avoid another binge at least. Some dry days, some more wet ones.

It's very difficult to get back up right away, some of us do it, but these 105 days were the longest I had gone over 3 decades and I just didn't have the strength to stop again the next day.

Anyway, I was reading here today and I saw that EndoftheDay fell of too. I used to get a lot of strength from his posts because we quit one day after another back in May. This made me more sad, but also gave me great strength as he seems to have gotten right back on.

I am on day 3 tomorrow.

Hope you are all well.

T.
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Old 09-10-2017, 02:26 PM
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Good to see you made it back to us Tankersfull 💜
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Old 09-10-2017, 02:36 PM
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Glad you're back, starting again.
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Old 09-10-2017, 02:37 PM
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Hi Tankersfull and welcome back!
I drank again after 99 days on 29th August and am now back on day 44. It took a while to get my confidence back and I did kind of of mourn the loss of my hard earned days. But slowly it's coming back and I'm feeling much stronger again. I dont know about you but there was zero enjoyment for me. I almost had to force it down but there you go it's done and we move on.
Great job coming back!
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Old 09-10-2017, 03:04 PM
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Tankersfull, you are back and 3 days sober! That's great! And, you learned something more about recovery.
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Old 09-10-2017, 03:10 PM
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Glad you are back!
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Old 09-10-2017, 03:13 PM
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Same here. I was over a year when I had a horrible day at work and drank. It took me time to get my strength back. Day 39 now. Keep trying. I am feeling better. You will too.
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Old 09-10-2017, 03:19 PM
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I'm glad you made it back tankersfull.

I find a recovery plan can really help me stay focused - especially on those bad days.

Give this a read - you can make your recovery both resilient and enduring and not dependent on good or bad days

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D
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Old 09-10-2017, 03:20 PM
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Welcome back to you too Jim - that link's for everyone

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Old 09-11-2017, 02:43 AM
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Sorry to hear that, Tankers. I got sober quite close to you and EndOf.
But you're still here and still fighting this thing and if you can do that sober time once, you can do it again. Big hugs Weev
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Old 09-11-2017, 02:48 AM
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Glad y'all made it back this time!!

Dee always has great advice and I echo the need for a plan.

Hope you decide to make this your last new start. You can.
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Old 09-11-2017, 03:53 AM
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So glad you are back. Your three days will build and build and you will never regret it. As Anna said, you have learned more about recovery.

I "fell off" in May and am not looking back. I came to the conclusion that the pain of drinking was far worse than any pain that life could dish up.
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Old 09-11-2017, 04:38 AM
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Thanks everyone. Off to Dubai tomorrow on business. Will keep an eye on AV during flights, hours at the airport, evening dinners and the rest of the time as well. I appreciate all the kind words.
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Old 09-11-2017, 05:02 AM
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Good job on 3 days.
A great feature of S-R is that you can check in from all over the world. Let us know how you are during your trip.
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Old 10-20-2017, 01:08 PM
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Hey Tankers,
It'd be good to hear from you.
Hope all okay
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Old 10-20-2017, 02:51 PM
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Don't quit quitting.

I had a similar episode a couple of weeks ago. Conscious decision that lasted about 5 days. Glad I snapped out of it before it got out of control. I put myself back to day 1. It was pretty miserable, but I'm back in the saddle.
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