What is helpful to you
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 21
What is helpful to you
I have a question or maybe it's a topic, what have you found the most useful in your recovery ? Is there a favorite/ important page in the BB or something that has hit home that your sponsor or a member has told you?
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Page 417 in the 4th edition of the Big Book--that part about acceptance.
Much as I'd like to sometimes, I can no longer forget that whenever I'm upset about something, there is something wrong with me. All my troubles in this world pretty much stem from my reluctance or refusal to accept life on life's terms--to accept reality.
Much as I'd like to sometimes, I can no longer forget that whenever I'm upset about something, there is something wrong with me. All my troubles in this world pretty much stem from my reluctance or refusal to accept life on life's terms--to accept reality.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
cant say there is one page or prase that stand out at the most important. depends on the day and what is going on in my life on that day. it could be:
Perhaps there is a better way - we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.
or
They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.
or
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.
just depends on the day and whats going on
Perhaps there is a better way - we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.
or
They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help.
or
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.
just depends on the day and whats going on
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Here's something I first heard a few years ago that made a profound difference in being able to see how I used to act and think:
Page 60-62, change the pronoun "he", "his", "etc., to your own name. Actually cross it off in the book, write in your name, and read it slowly afterward.
This was life changing for me! I had no idea I was "selfish", "controlling" and "self-centered" because "I was such a nice person!" lol
I see and hear things differently with each reading, as I continue to grow in my recovery and experience. Currently, the words "continue" and "watch" in step 10 are most helpful to me.
Page 60-62, change the pronoun "he", "his", "etc., to your own name. Actually cross it off in the book, write in your name, and read it slowly afterward.
This was life changing for me! I had no idea I was "selfish", "controlling" and "self-centered" because "I was such a nice person!" lol
I see and hear things differently with each reading, as I continue to grow in my recovery and experience. Currently, the words "continue" and "watch" in step 10 are most helpful to me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Pathwaytofree 
I printed out an 8x10 of this and taped it to my mirror.
theres a whole lotta good stuff past that page,too:
Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember
that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations.
The higher my expectations of Max and other
people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my
serenity level rise when I discard my expectations.
But then my “rights” try to move in, and they too can
force my serenity level down. I have to discard my
“rights,” as well as my expectations, by asking myself,
How important is it, really? How important is it compared
to my serenity, my emotional sobriety? And
when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety
than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher
level—at least for the time being.
Acceptance is the key to my relationship with God
today. I never just sit and do nothing while waiting
for Him to tell me what to do. Rather, I do whatever
is in front of me to be done, and I leave the results up
to Him; however it turns out, that’s God’s will for me.
I must keep my magic magnifying mind on my acceptance
and off my expectations, for my serenity is
directly proportional to my level of acceptance. When
I remember this, I can see I’ve never had it so good.
Thank God for A.A.!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Part of the 6 item routine I have in the morning for program work is to read pp 84-88 and 417-418. I ask myself the inventory in the morning about the prior day, as I think sleeping on the day helps me be more honest in answering how it went. I also review the St Francis prayer and pick "a thing" to focus on for the day. I also jot a little note to God in a section of my day planner- about a person, an attitude I want to have to others that day, a particular issue bothering/important to my beloved, that sort of thing.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 812
My favorite, or most helpful ideas and pages in the BB have changed throughout my recovery. In very early sobriety, The Dr's Opinion was the most profound for me. When I struggled with the idea of a HP, certain sentences and paragraphs in The Chapter to Agnostics gave me hope and the strength to seek a power of my own understanding. As months turned to years, my favorite sections of the book have seemed to reflect where I am spiritually, or where I am wanting to go. For me it has been two steps forward, and one step back. I do not believe I will EVER outgrow the lessons to be learned in the BB. It's just that my perspective changes as I trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,229
Way back when I entered recovery in 1990,
I was handed a Big Book, a 12 x 12 Step Book
and a little black 24Hours a Day prayer Book.
It was suggested to me to get a sponsor
before exiting my 28 day rehab stay and
complete the program with a 6 week after
care program once released.
In early recovery I was in the learning
process of how to live life sober incorporating
all those important tools taught to me
from day one in all my affairs.
With emotions all over the place, my
sponsor referred me to page 449 each
and every time to read and apply it
to my situation in which I did.
With 27 yrs sobriety, I continue to
maintain my sobriety, remain teachable
and apply all those important lessons
taught to me from day 1 to continue to
achieve serenity, peace of mind, balance,
honesty, health, happiness, Faith and
so much more.
From page 417 of The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person,
place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life —
unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until
I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being
exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world
by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could
not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s
terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so
much on what needs to be changed in the world as on
what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the
men and women merely players.” He forgot to mention
that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the
flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always
glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection,
just as I did.
A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there
is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad
in the best of us; that we are all children of God
and we each have a right to be here. When I complain
about me or about you, I am complaining about God’s
handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.
I was handed a Big Book, a 12 x 12 Step Book
and a little black 24Hours a Day prayer Book.
It was suggested to me to get a sponsor
before exiting my 28 day rehab stay and
complete the program with a 6 week after
care program once released.
In early recovery I was in the learning
process of how to live life sober incorporating
all those important tools taught to me
from day one in all my affairs.
With emotions all over the place, my
sponsor referred me to page 449 each
and every time to read and apply it
to my situation in which I did.
With 27 yrs sobriety, I continue to
maintain my sobriety, remain teachable
and apply all those important lessons
taught to me from day 1 to continue to
achieve serenity, peace of mind, balance,
honesty, health, happiness, Faith and
so much more.
From page 417 of The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person,
place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life —
unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until
I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being
exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world
by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could
not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s
terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so
much on what needs to be changed in the world as on
what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage, and all the
men and women merely players.” He forgot to mention
that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the
flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always
glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection,
just as I did.
A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there
is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad
in the best of us; that we are all children of God
and we each have a right to be here. When I complain
about me or about you, I am complaining about God’s
handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: California
Posts: 2,722
All good stuff. Dr's Opinion is one of my favorites.
Something that someone said to me in my first two weeks has stuck with me over 30 years: Learn to recognize when your disease is talking to you.
After lots of step work, service and therapy, the disease rarely tells me that I can drink again. Oh no, it's much too sly for that.
These days it tells me that I can miss a meeting, sleep in, skip a work out, let the phone ring, it's ok to gossip a little--things like that. One by itself is not so bad but many times reverting to bad habits leads me to relapse.
After 30 years, I have to be just as vigilant as I was when I was still shaking in my boots.
Something that someone said to me in my first two weeks has stuck with me over 30 years: Learn to recognize when your disease is talking to you.
After lots of step work, service and therapy, the disease rarely tells me that I can drink again. Oh no, it's much too sly for that.
These days it tells me that I can miss a meeting, sleep in, skip a work out, let the phone ring, it's ok to gossip a little--things like that. One by itself is not so bad but many times reverting to bad habits leads me to relapse.
After 30 years, I have to be just as vigilant as I was when I was still shaking in my boots.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: VA
Posts: 26
Originally Posted by Poppy2006
I have a question or maybe it's a topic, what have you found the most useful in your recovery ? Is there a favorite/ important page in the BB or something that has hit home that your sponsor or a member has told you?
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Faith without works is dead: P14.
"My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that."
The price of sobriety: P14
"Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all."
So much for the gift. I like that these requirements are not hidden in the small print somewhere. They appear in the very first chapter. Very up front.
"My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that."
The price of sobriety: P14
"Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all."
So much for the gift. I like that these requirements are not hidden in the small print somewhere. They appear in the very first chapter. Very up front.
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