Notsodrunk

Five weeks in and I cracked a Heineken. It smelled like beer did when I was younger. Before I used to drink all the time. I should have went to bed. I feel guilty. Ashamed I just pissed 5 solid weeks away. Normal feelings. And to just sit in the garage and smoke cigarettes. I guess I should have phoned a friend. That support would have went a long way. A strange friendship I have....one of my best friends is two decades older than me. Our common ground is fishing and the army. He still drinks and smokes pot for medical reasons, which is cool by me because There's never pressure or anything like that. Actually he drinks so seldom and smokes so seldom I rarely see him do so. I called earlier while the frustration of a bad day was brewing and he was busy on a work call. Not justifying it just it didn't help. If I would have text he would have called back and talked for a bit and my mood would have went away. Hard to explain the bond between fishermen and military. Monday this guy I work with asked me to cover his on call ( were heavy equipment mechanics and rotate after hour calls tri-weekly) and I agreed. Cancelled any plans to go fishing ( I take fishing pretty serious because it's my outlet). And my exercise other than running.....so at 5:15pm this ******* comes and says he's not going out of town and he'll take his on call so he won't have to owe me a weekend. Arguement happened. I just left because I was pissed. Really it worked for the best because my mom has cancer and tomorrow I'll make the four hour drive with my daughter to go see her. I might fish freshwater while I'm there although I have zero interest in catching freshwater inshore fish. So there's 5 of these Heinekens left and when I fail I fail all the way. Guess I'll polish them off and start at ground zero in the morning. Feeling like a dumbass. If anything I can learn from this it's that I have to set up a better support network. I've got some things to sort out. No way I'm going through this crap again. And the fact that drinking 6 beers is an ordeal to me, only justifies that I need to stay as far away from this stuff as possible. Today was my run day too and I got it all messed up. I'll probably get my punching bag out of storage while I'm back home and bring it up here. Anyway - here's an experience of a weak man. If your thinking about slipping .....the disappointment itself isn't worth it. I let myself down and that's a bummer.....I let my little girl down and that, sucks.

suki44883

There is no good reason to "polish off" the remaining beer. Dump it down the drain. When you find you have dug yourself into a hole...stop digging!

HTown

Don't drink the rest of the beer. Pour it down the drain. There is no reason to drink 5 more beers at this point. Besides you will feel better in the morning and be more present for your daughter and your sick mom if you do not drink anymore tonight. Stop. You can do this.

Chilledice

If drinking six beers is an ordeal for you then why polish off the five you have left?

Pour it out man it's not gonna make things easier for you, pour it out drink some water and get some sleep.....tomorrow is a new day, a new chance at freedom!

Caprice6

I understand how hard that can be, especially after having one in your system already and feeling fine/wanting more, but it would really be best to get rid of the beers left. Think about it, tomorrow you won't be hungover, you haven't gone all the way or ****** anything up. You'll wake up as if nothing happened. After 6, it may be a different story.
I'm on my 4th full day of withdrawal and on the second day, i found I still had a large German beer in my bag left over. thought I had none left...told myself -this it. I was shaking like a leaf, sweating, anxious (you know the drill) but instead of drinking it to ''taper'' I gave it to a friend to put in her fridge and keep it.
If I would have drank it, there would be no tapering, I'd fall right back into it.

Dee74

I'm with the consensus - dump the rest of the beers.

If you have a chance to get out of a runaway elevator - take it - no need to ride it down to the basement.

I'm not sure what you were do to stay sober but it all sounded like it was a little haphazard?

Have you thought of making a recovery plan notsodrunk?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...very-plan.html

D

Delilah1

Hello,

Chiming in to agree with all of the above. If you have any beer left dump it. If you are waking up and have finished the beer, don't buy any more, it is too difficult to have in the house in the beginning.

When this feeling creeps back in, log in here and post, one of us will be around to talk you through the urge.

What have you been doing for recovery so far? Logging in and posting and reading here daily helps.

Join the September 2017 class, to get the support of others who have stopped drinking this month, also, join us on the 24 hour thread. You will meet a great group of very supportive, and often quite comical people. You will be able to commit to 24 hours, if that is too much then check in there every hour.

You can do this, so tomorrow morning, dust yourself off, and start again!

hpdw

Can I just add my support hoping that you can dump the rest of the beers .

Anna

I hope you get rid of the beer you have and get back to working on recovery. I hope you can tweak your recovery plan so that you won't have to go through this again. Five weeks is great, so you know you can do this!

Fly N Buy

My mom passed away of cancer years ago. Wish I had been sober for the precious hours we spent together over the last several months of her life instead of wrapped up in my own selfish behaviors. I was there, but not present. Emotional sobriety is one of the true gifts I have been given today. The ability simply be available for others.

Delilah1

How are you doing today Notso?

Sarbear1885

I really like some of the comments on here! I also like to comment 5 weeks is an amazing amount of time and I know you can do it again! Don't get discouraged because you slipped one day, if that were the case we wouldn't keep trying when we fell. You can do this! I found making a plan has helped my mentality, now what will be even harder is avoiding situations that are triggers or that are even any kind of social situation. I'm still not sure how I'm going to do that one...

I hope you're doing better today! I slipped my 3rd day in, I can't even imagine how I'm going to get through at this point but we have to keep trying!