xbeautifulx1

Hi, I'm new to this site & forum so I apologize in advance if my question is in the incorrect place.

I was hoping someone may be able to share what they know about the brains recovery process after being addicted to drugs & upon becoming clean; more specifically I was curious about dopamine production & reception after addiction. I have read conflicting information on this topic (I've only browsed/researched on the web, I never think to ask this question while I'm actually at my doctors office for whatever reason).

The very first article I ran across and read during my search was very specific & stated that once being addicted then getting clean, your brain will never make the amount of dopamine it did before being addicted. Period, no ifs no ands or buts. That's that, once you start using drugs consistently your brain basically re-wires itself to allow for the over flooding of dopamine the drugs are causing a mass production of & after time it either slows down the output or stops production of dopamine all together (that also being the cause of a persons tolerance becoming higher and higher the longer they use) and then in the long run, granted the outcome of the scenario is sobriety your brain will basically stay stuck in that area of low dopamine production due to the re-wiring of pathways for neurotransmitters and receptors- a "re-wiring" that can not be undone. In the same period of research I also came across many other bits of info such as yes, the brain stays in the pattern of low dopamine production (or no production which seems so crazy to me) but vitamins, prescription medicines- i.e. Antidepressants, etc. can help supplement the shortage; then I go to the next link google brings up, click, & read that yes the brain will eventually "fix" itself and revert to pre-addicted dopamine production and you don't need vitamins or medicines to help, that it is all in people's minds-the thought that even though they may be sober they're just conditioned to still (and always will be) believe that without the drugs they just can't be as happy as they were prior to use or while actively using- you're just stuck in an unhappy place forever because of sad thoughts that are really fake and all in your head..(again something to me that seems so crazy but I don't know, it may very well be accurate??).
I've just ran across so much conflicting information and while this thought is on my mind, and until I see my doctor next and can ask his professional medical opinion, I was just hoping maybe someone here could help me with some more reliable info that the google search with answers to someone else asking this question 2-3 years ago maybe didn't get addressed ..you know how google takes you all over the place, past included..and yea, google just takes you all over the place with answers and brings up more questions most of the time, in my case at least.
But, Even just the personal experience of someone who was a long term user and then got clean- surely you would be able to answer -do you feel as happy now as you did prior to becoming a user? or are you happy but you don't feel as happy as when you didn't do drugs at all- that pre-drug usage state when the thought didn't even cross your mind? Or are you just flat out unhappy after becoming clean??..A personal experience related answer is really what I think my question requires.
And briefly to address why I'm asking- I was a long term opioid user. From the ages of 16ish to 23 but the time I finally decided I couldn't live the way I was anymore -at 23 years old- I was not in a position that I could go to any kind of inpatient treatment which is what I would have wanted to do..and would still do.. because I wasn't in the spot to take the route Of inpatient rehab my other choice to some sort of stability and quickly asap fast stability was the methadone clinic, which was the choice I went with & have now been at my clinic from age 23 til now and I'm 29. The clinic and methadone completely changed and saved my life and I would gladly recommend the program for anyone that goes with the intention to work the program and work it and do it right. Which I have done the program right in my road to complete recovery - my groups, sessions and therapy with my counselor, completely stopped all drug usage the day I started- 100% and completely and still to this day other than the methadone have not took any other drugs, I have never took more than 80 mg and even that much scared me and felt unnecessary for me personally to take that much so I've been at 60 milligrams for years now, I am allowed a months worth of take homes due to the fact I have done what's required of me and so on & so forth. The only problem is I'm ready to leave now. I'm ready but what's held me back is fear. I am so scared of dropping my dose amount down from that 60mg.. and not even the drop but thinking about what my body may feel like pain wise when I get down to 5-10 mg or less, the fear of relapsing because I just panic without my methadone (which I will completely own up to my methadone being a crutch I use at this point) and I have a tendency to be a high strung and anxious person as is so for me to think I might start panicking immediately without my medicine doesn't seem far fetched to me. Also as I mentioned I am extremely anxious and diagnosed as so and if need be I am supposed to take a fast acting anti anxiety medicine but I don't because I haven't had a hyperventilating blackout inducing panick attack in many years-before starting the clinic, and I've also been diagnosed as bipolar. I am so afraid that with those mental disabilities I am in some way too unstable to come off my methadone and will completely just have a mental breakdown if I even try to stop much less actually stop. My main concern being the question I've came here to inquire you all about- I don't want to be horribly sad or never as happy as I was when I had never done drugs all because I got clean off all drugs, seems like such a contradictory outcome. & because as much as it has helped and again as I said, it saved my life, methadone is still such a highly addictive drug and long term use -especially the years I've been on it- and any longer than this on it is not what I want. I don't want to have this medicine as a crutch to me anymore I feel like I'm trapped and almost caged in by it and now I just want freedom with happiness included.
I hope I've explained my question well enough to get an answer, sorry if not and sorry again if I'm in the wrong section asking this.
Thanks

SoberCAH

I don't know about dopamine production following years of addiction, so I can't answer that question.

But I can sure relate to the rest of your post.

I applaud your considering getting off of methadone and into a complete abstinence lifestyle.

Many of us were beset with depression, anxiety, mood swings, etc. and fearful of how we would feel after we got clean and sober.

Mercifully, there are excellent treatments for many of those conditions, so they can usually be successfully addressed.

You asked some very good questions about how sobriety "feels" and raised notions of "happiness".

The way I have come to feel in recovery is that my sobriety permits me to participate in life on an equal basis with the rest of mankind.

For years I was burdened with self-doubt and feelings of being less than everyone (or most everyone) else.

I felt that I was different, in a rather terrible kind of way, from almost everyone else I met.

I thought that the whole world, except for myself, was "normal" and that I had to struggle to try to project that false appearance (of happiness and success).

Alcohol helped me perpetrate that fraud.

In sobriety, I get to be an active participant in life itself.

I am a reasonably important part of most things I undertake, whether they are in the family arena, at work, or trying to help others.

I wake up happy to see how life is going to unfold each day.

Some days, of course, are better than others, but even the challenging ones are blessings.

I can get in contentious professional confrontations in the course of practicing my line of work.

Sometimes they can be hard to dismiss from my mind when I walk through the door of our home.

But that is only because my sobriety has permitted me to re-enter my profession on equal footing with my contemporaries.

The same way it has permitted me to re-enter the family environment and the social arena.

I wouldn't swap places with anyone I know.

Sobriety is a joy.

But we drunks are used to seeking short-term euphoria as a substitute for true happiness.

So learning to gratefully accept the blessings sobriety offers is an acquired taste, so to speak, for many drunks like myself.

Please keep us posted with respect to your efforts.

We're very happy for your desire to move to the next level of recovery.

And we're here for you.

DarklingSong

What a terrific post SoberCAH.

I think the answer about dopamine and brain recovery is very complex and likely there are big differences between individuals. I can recommend a book that will give you a great overview of the theory and evidence:
"The biology of Desire" by Marc Lewis.
He is a neuropsychologist who was also at one time an addict. It is an inspiring and hopeful read. Ultimately, people recover. The brain doesn't completely reset but happiness, contentment and a meaningful life are possible.
The very best of luck in your recovery.

wagster

I can't speak from first hand experience, but what I know about coming off methadone is that it's not fun. But then again, look how far you've come already! I would suggest you try and talk to someone who has done it successfully before making that move. Medical advice is good but no substitute for having walked the walk.

Martingx

5HTP works for me. It's over the counter in the USA and in Europe it's used to treat severe depression.

Lonewolf22

Thank you for posting that, this seems so up my street, I will look this up myself.

Lonewolf22

And this, I think I will give this a research too.
Thank you.

Lonewolf22

Thanks for writing this thread too I think this will bring a lot of scientific based recommendations up and hopefully help yourself and others.

MindfulMan

Dopamine depletion depends on your DOC.

Bsb

Good luck and taper down slowly I was only on 40mg of methadone and went done 1mg a week and jumped off at 5mg I'm 72 days clean and still sick but everybody is different and my experience with methadone was bad it made me worse then what I was b4 i went their i wouldn't personally tell anybody to go to the methadone clinic its harder to come off and your trading one drug for another but that's my point of view good luck