Your But's Too Big
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Your But's Too Big
Our church is starting this new mini series called: Your But's Too Big - Living Above Excuses. It may sound negative but actually its supposed to be positive and motivational helping to identify those things that keep us stuck and basically cause stress and anxiety. Pulling from parts of the Bible and key scriptures.
I thought Id mention it here and share a few of the key points, and if your not religious then I think you could easily substitute any higher power in the readings.
Week 1: But Im Hurting
A quote from C.S. Lewis: "God whispers to us in our pleasure, but he shouts to us in our pain". One of the major ideas seems to be, the the real test isnt the pain, but how we react to it
Hits home for me because "my reactions" and the way I have "dealt" and "coped" with the trauma of addiction and the effects it had on me, my family. Ive been a long time examining this and trying to understand myself, and learn from the whole experience. And through it all Ive held onto this idea that God has a plan, and the pain can be a motivator and a teacher to me.
Week 2:
But Im Afraid
The concept here is that Fear is not from God. It can be based on past experiences, problems that we are facing now, but when we have faith then fear is minimized. Fear can make us question things which is good but it can also allow many excuses to be formed. I found it interesting because it says fear is like a contagious disease and we can catch it or transmit it to others. The power of influence. But as an individual I know I must walk through life relying on MY faith.
Week 3:But I Dont Have Enough Money
If we are led by God in a certain direction then he will provide. And sorting out needs from wants which is sometimes hard to do !
Week 4:But What Will People Think
Motivating factors we have in life. Wanting to appear successful, powerful, like our lives are all put together, or that we are the perfect picture we hold in our mind of home and family, wife, mother, daughter. It also mentions the desire to please others and how it can lead to a trap of constantly comparing ourselves, worrying what others think, overall insecurity, negative self speak.
Reminds me of how I isolated out of shame, and didnt even let my own family know what was going on. It hurt me the most. Was one of the things that I have had a hard time forgiving myself for. Im actually still working on it, disappointed in myself. Also speaks to the stigma surrounding addiction and being a family member, talking to others about the challenges its caused me.
We went to church where this series was talked about, and then later in the day I was talking with my husband and he says " your but's too big" about some excuse I was making. We both laughed and now its become joking statement with a little tinge of truth. I think as a simple notion its made me more aware of how many times I say "BUT" at least in my own mind, and what impact it has on my thinking and choices.
If not helpful, then I hope at least the title has made you smile.
I thought Id mention it here and share a few of the key points, and if your not religious then I think you could easily substitute any higher power in the readings.
Week 1: But Im Hurting
A quote from C.S. Lewis: "God whispers to us in our pleasure, but he shouts to us in our pain". One of the major ideas seems to be, the the real test isnt the pain, but how we react to it
Hits home for me because "my reactions" and the way I have "dealt" and "coped" with the trauma of addiction and the effects it had on me, my family. Ive been a long time examining this and trying to understand myself, and learn from the whole experience. And through it all Ive held onto this idea that God has a plan, and the pain can be a motivator and a teacher to me.
Week 2:
But Im Afraid
The concept here is that Fear is not from God. It can be based on past experiences, problems that we are facing now, but when we have faith then fear is minimized. Fear can make us question things which is good but it can also allow many excuses to be formed. I found it interesting because it says fear is like a contagious disease and we can catch it or transmit it to others. The power of influence. But as an individual I know I must walk through life relying on MY faith.
Week 3:But I Dont Have Enough Money
If we are led by God in a certain direction then he will provide. And sorting out needs from wants which is sometimes hard to do !
Week 4:But What Will People Think
Motivating factors we have in life. Wanting to appear successful, powerful, like our lives are all put together, or that we are the perfect picture we hold in our mind of home and family, wife, mother, daughter. It also mentions the desire to please others and how it can lead to a trap of constantly comparing ourselves, worrying what others think, overall insecurity, negative self speak.
Reminds me of how I isolated out of shame, and didnt even let my own family know what was going on. It hurt me the most. Was one of the things that I have had a hard time forgiving myself for. Im actually still working on it, disappointed in myself. Also speaks to the stigma surrounding addiction and being a family member, talking to others about the challenges its caused me.
We went to church where this series was talked about, and then later in the day I was talking with my husband and he says " your but's too big" about some excuse I was making. We both laughed and now its become joking statement with a little tinge of truth. I think as a simple notion its made me more aware of how many times I say "BUT" at least in my own mind, and what impact it has on my thinking and choices.
If not helpful, then I hope at least the title has made you smile.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
Someone in my AlAnon group was talking about the "yeah-buts" (pronounced to rhyme with "rabbits") - these are the excuses that we make to justify behavior we know is wrong - e.g. "YEAH, I know I got drunk last weekend when I promised to abstain BUT I was under a lot of stress because of work and then my car broken down and ..." or "YEAH, the last five time I've lent my alcoholic sibling money he's blown it on booze BUT this time he really needed it because he said he was behind in his rent and I can't just let him be evicted" or "YEAH I did X or Y BUT it wasn't my fault/it's different from the last times I did X and Y/it can be justified by mentioning something irrelevant". The point was that we need to stop at "yeah" and not even think about the "buts".
I liked the idea of yabbit-rabbits proliferating like crazy everywhere addicts and their significant others are found (can't find an appropriate image to illustrate this concept ...).
I liked the idea of yabbit-rabbits proliferating like crazy everywhere addicts and their significant others are found (can't find an appropriate image to illustrate this concept ...).
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
When I first started al-anon I overheard a woman telling someone after a meeting, “everything after your BUT is bull crap”. Months later that woman shared at a meeting that “yes in fact everything after my BUT’s was bull crap”. The topic of that evening was DENIAL.
I remember this quote but fail to remember who said it…….Excuses are lies wrapped up in reasons.
I remember this quote but fail to remember who said it…….Excuses are lies wrapped up in reasons.
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