clarity7

I have been in and out of "recovery" about 4 times. I loved being sober, and I didn't realize how much....until I wasn't. I have been fortunate to have been able to put quite a few years of sobriety together, 3 separate times......but the (in-between) relapses have essentially ruined almost 20 years (total) of sobriety. I have embarrassed myself, my family members (including my wonderful husband of 19 years).....and I am SO very tired of the incomprehensible demoralization.

It's time....once and for all.....thank you all for being here.

Maudcat

Hi, clarity.
Welcome to SR.
You will find lots of support here.

DarklingSong

Welcome to SR!

january161992

Bluee12

[ incomprehensible demoralization ]

Hi Clarity.
Your words are exactly how I feel everytime I drink because it always ends up in shame and self loathing.

I despise myself right now. Day 4

I understand completely. Welcome🤗

Zebra1275

Welcome!

biminiblue

If you stay sober all that bad behavior will be in the past and with some sober time people will forgive.

Most importantly, with some sober time you'll forgive yourself. You never have to feel this way again.

Anustart

Oh, I want that to be true I'm the worst way...!

biminiblue

Some relationships are broken beyond repair. I believe we are usually given plenty of warnings before that happens, though. Ignore at your peril.

But you can learn to forgive yourself and those who had to step away for their own sanity and could not forgive you. It's an easier life that way.

icandothis20

I can relate, the shame and guilt of hurting loved ones is the worst. I am only on day 1, so we can do this!

hpdw

Welcome clarity7 . You made a great decision to stop drinking . This is a wonderful site full of likeminded people willing to help eachother stay sober .

Icandothis , welcome also and same message .

Please keep posting