Logan3232

Hello all, this is my second post to SR and I wanted to talk about the mental side of the fight with alcohol mainly. As probably anyone knows who's reading this, theres a constant struggle the mental side of an alcohol addict. For me personally, I constantly go through the cycle of getting drunk at night (a lot) then in the morning feeling guilt, shame and constantly telling myself "todays the day we stop" and by 6 pm ill be 4 shots in... So pathetic. My question is for all of us struggling, is what any of you successful recoverers did in times of cravings and obsessions such as when all you wanted to do was drink. Very powerful feeling for us addicts is the temptation to drink when non addicts will never understand. Any advice/tips is appreciated thank you all !!!

Poppy79

I couldn't stop myself when I really needed to stop so I put my hand up and got professional help in those early few weeks. Inpatient treatment, followed by medication (antabuse).
Nowadays I play the tape forward and tell myself the fleeting buzz isn't worth the misery aftermath.
And I keep busy. Art, Tele, exercise, sleep, walk my dogs.
The cravings do subside quite drastically with enough sober time under your belt.

KES06

Stay busy. Go for a walk. Clean your house. Drink a lot of water. The more water I drank, especially during normal drinking hours, the less the cravings. Go to an AA meeting.
And the simplest one yet? Just DON'T drink. Get it out of the house. Don't buy it. Don't go to bars. Cook a good meal or order out.
In order to NOT drink, you have to want sobriety badly enough that nothing else matters. I got tired of the hangovers, guilt, shame, not performing to my maximum level at work, and just floating by until I could drink again. Alcohol had taken over my life. It has stolen half of my life from me. And I'm done letting alcohol come first. I'm early in, yet (7 months). But I rarely have cravings anymore. You have to find out what works for you. Put the "obsession" you carry for alcohol into sobriety, and you will be successful.
Good luck.

Culture

I have a couple of books on alcoholism, I read some every morning and night when I am in bed, which reaffirms that no I can't drink and yes I am alcoholic! I make a commitment to myself that I will get through the next 24 hours alcohol free.
If thoughts of drinking arise during the day, I eat something sweet and remember where 1 drink leads me.
It never led to a better place!
I'm a relative newcomer to SR but I have been sober longer now, than at any other time in the last 5 years.
I also check in here and read posts everyday, getting support and advice from others.
Before I came to SR, I really had no idea about alcoholism and in my mind being better informed and having a recovery plan in place makes the difference.

Logan3232

Thank you all for the early replies much appreciated ! To culture: Would you happen to remember the names of the books? I do enjoy reading and would like to research them if you can remember them, thank you

Gottalife

When the obsession is on me, I am going to drink. I won't even know it's happening. My experience was like yours, wake up sick, decide absolutely no drinking today, come 6 pm I am on my third drink before I even remember I wasn't supposed to be drinking. By then the craving has a hold and we are off on another one!

There was no winning this fight. To even fight you have to be able to see the enemy, and I didn't even know he was there. What happened was I did an insane thing. I swore off in the morning and later changed my mind, deciding time would be different. So subtle, so insane.

The solution was to find a way to get that obsession lifted. Getting right into those twelve steps of AA made fairly short work of it. And from when I sincerely started on that journey I found I could easily control my desire for alcohol. No tricks needed.

Culture

Hi Logan.

Living sober- it is AA literature ( although I don't go to AA I ordered it online from bookseller) This book has been really helpful, it does what the title suggests, a way of living sober.

A book I have just finished reading is -Pour me a life- by A.A Gill. This is about his life story and his battle with alcoholism. Very powerful and well written.
Obviously these are just my choices, you may or may not like them. I just went online to look, there are loads on alcoholism.
Hope I have been, of some help.

Anna

What worked for me, in the early days, was changing my routines. Early evening, after supper clean-up, was the worst time for me. So, I started going out and walking, a lot. This helped me on so many levels.

tomsteve

i hope i dont forget going to work still drunk, swearing off for the day, working through it all- on a 90 degree day framing a house- and sayin,"im NOT drinkin tonight."
as the day wore on, i started fighting the thought of a drink.
driving home i was fighting the thought.pulled into the party store near home for a 40 ouncer and walked out witha 12 pack.
got home and cracked one open. it tasted like crap, so back up to the store for some bourban.
that was a little bit of unmanagability and a whole lot of insanity.
a viscious cycle for 8 more years after that.

i think the biggest thing that helped me was making a decision to go to any lengths to stop drinking.
then getting into AA and working the steps.
many days the obsession/cravings were strong( even 2-3 months in).
i take a roadtrip, sit down and read the big book, call someone in recovery, take walks( some really,really long walks sometimes)

and didnt drink no matter what

Obladi

Hi Logan,

I am in agreement with all of the responses above, and "tried" just about every one of these "tricks."

If an urge or craving hits, I gently talk myself through it (in my mind usually, but sometimes out loud!). First I try to identify it. Is it anxiety or is it a craving? For me it's both as I'm past physical dependence - anxiety immediately followed by the thought of a drink. I continue doing whatever I was doing as I talk myself down. "This is just a craving. It always passes. Just keep on doing what you were doing, Obladi." (alternates include, "Get to a meeting, call someone, get off your keister and do something strenuous.")

But dealing with the craving (for me) wasn't enough. Here's the whole package:
- Want it more than anything else. I mean anything. I have nothing or will have nothing soon if I continue to drink.
- Read about AVRT in the Secular Connections forum. The concept of the duality of I vs the addiction is explained clearly there. (It's all over your first post. )
- Intensive Outpatient Treatment. The group therapy portion of this treatment is most helpful to me.
- Change up routines and environment. I have a daily schedule to fill my time morning til night and because I drank in my room, I've been focusing on making the rest of my place comfortable and moving things out of my room that invite isolation.
- AA meetings. Tried a dozen, found at least one/day that I like enough to attend on a regular basis.
- Meditation (just a few minutes per day, doesn't have to be perfect)
- Prescribed medication - I was medicating anxiety and depression with booze.
- Regular voice or in person contact (as in, at least x times per week or month) with people who care about me.

It's a lot, for sure. But so was drinking. I far and away prefer this "a lot."

Glad you're here and searching!
O

PhoenixJ

Brain training with CBT. I read, post, share and research, I go to meetings- because they are free and it is time I would have spent drinking. I walk- a lot. I do art, journal and try new activities- by checking in local libraries and community centres. I watch ted talks on u-tobe. I use humor a lot- and watch recovery standup. I watch doco's on anything and everything to learn. I cook different stuff, keep a regular routine for self care and home. I force myself to, at least once a week sit at a coffee shop and people watch,. I read a lot- and have an oxfam place I buy at least one book a week. I share and read a lot- about recovery with others on facebook. I borrow movies from the library on stuff I usually would not have. I go to regular doc, psychoist and counsel sessions. I try to meet new people. I distract- use SR ALOT...
I REMIND MYSELF OF THE HELL THAT WAS ACTIVE ADDICTION. I plan a budget- set goals and buy stuff...I lost everything when my burns from booze blackout left me homeless from a family that disowned me. I do anything I can - every waking hour, every day...to do anything productive but drink..and then when I tell myself I am sick of trying- will do more. I spend as much time on recovery as I did on drinking.
Support to you.

Wholesome

I relate completely to the shame and commitment in the morning that I was going to quit that day, only to find that by the afternoon the a**hole voice in my head had talked me into drinking again. I learned how to recognize and disassociate from that voice, my addictive voice, right here on SR in the Secular Connections forum. Anyone can learn how to do it, it is a learned skill, and in my opinion the absolute best and easiest way to quit for good.

SnazzyDresser

I've found that the more times I refused to give into that urge/desire to drink, the more it started to seem like a viable choice to not do it, to not drink. I'm not just a drinking machine operating under rules where it's mandatory to get drunk every night. I'm an actual human being! I can decide that I'm not gonna poison myself today, that no good will come from it.

And then the habit of not drinking gets more ingrained in you, and things start to snowball in a good way over time as your brain heals and you start thinking for yourself again.

D122y

Logan,

Speaking from a relapse/slip perspective the AV is patient.

I was great 99.89% of the time, but 1 moment of rational weakness and boom....we are relapsers.

It is a cruel reality and some folks can't take it...they go off the deep end.

I want to warn you about that part that happened to me.

You can be great at home by yourself, but get around actives and normies and things get blurry.

Then you come back here and they get clear again, but now it is different.

I think that pressure can snap some folks.

Thanks.