Fatboyanon

I have been sober for 245 days. I lost a lot of weight and just finished a 13.5 mile obstacle course. I never thought it possible that I could run a mile let alone a half marathons.
The problem I am having is as of lately I have been thinking more and more how I miss drinking. I feel like I am in a funk and don't know how to get out no matter what I accomplish. I don't want to relapse I hate that poison and never want to feel like a train wreck again but this feeling just doesn't seem to subside no matter what I try. Any advice or help?

Maudcat

I don't really have advice, fatboy.
Btw, you probably need a new name after losing all the weight.
Anyway, congrats on your sober time!
I run through a little script in my head when I occasionally find myself wanting to have a drink.
I remember how I never wanted to go out after dinner because I was drunk.
I remember picking stupid fights with my spouse because I was drunk.
I remember my stomach hurting because I was drinking.
I remember waking up and wondering if I had done or said something unacceptable the night before.
I had way too much trouble with alcohol to see it as anything but awful.
Good luck and good thoughts.

LoveForMe

I don't really have much advice either but I can relate to how you feel. I've been feeling the same... I'm only on day 91 and I'm hoping it'll get easier😔 I just try to remember that drinking is not going to fix the urge. I know I will just be more than likely to drink the next day and the next day and the next day and then be back to my full blown alcoholic self. And then... I would be back at day one.

But congrats on the 245 days! Great job and I wish I was where you are now. Keep up the good work!

RetiredGuy

I have a little less sober time than you, but what really helps mpe is the phrase often repeated here "play the tape forward" . Do you really want to ruin 245 days of sobriety and have to start all over again. Or even worse, do you want to start drinking again never to be able to stop and end up on the wrong side of the grass at way to early of an age. Stay strong!

tomsteve

have ya been workin a recovery program,plan, FB?

Fatboyanon

No recovery plan just a lot of hard work keeping busy. I haven't done aa meetings or anything like that.

tomsteve

so ya just stopped drinking? havent done anything to work on yourself, other than the physical aspect?
how long has this funk been going on?

least

Congrats on your sober time! You're coming up on a year! When I was early in recovery and didn't feel that great, it was suggested that I start practicing gratitude every day. It was hard at first but it got easier, and the more I counted my blessings, the more blessings there were to count.

I'd also suggest, if you've been in a funk for a while, that you see your doctor. It might be depression, and there's meds and therapy for that.

Dee74

Hi FBA

Some people can quit drinking and thats all they need to be happy. Others like me had to face all the things I was drinking over and have to dig a little deeper for long term solutions.

Sounds like your life might be a little out of balance right now?
On some level, do you fear downtime/not being busy might lead to drinking?

I can identify with that - but I learned I have nothing to fear from my addiction whether I'm busy or not. I hold the reins.

I like my downtime as much as ,my productive hours

D

Fatboyanon

I havent worked on myself mentally as much as physically. I have been working steps to be more mindful and present.

Funk been following me about a month.

I do fear a lot of downtime could lead back to drinking. When I was drinking all the time that's how I spent my downtime. Now that I think about it things have slowed down a bit in my life at work and in general in the last month

tomsteve

maybe time to start working on the mental aspect of recovery,eh?

a question dee posed:
On some level, do you fear downtime/not being busy might lead to drinking?

or maybe fear of downtime/not being busy bringing up some mental mayhem that hasnt been addressed?

tiffanyeagle

fatboy, i hate calling you that, we gotta change that name anyway, congrats on all those days and all the work on your physical... please consider doing some work on the other two things that make you up - mental and spiritual/emotional. if you get all 3 things going in a positive direction it might be good. for me, i'm getting that support through meetings and doc. i didn't want to go to mtgs, and i didn't stay the first times around, but now i'm seeing it's worth. there are things i don't like but right now, i'm in a fight to save my life so i'm taking suggestions. i suffer anxiety and depression and have sought help for those as well. we have to take care of ourselves, the whole complete you, not just physical fitness. (which is great - again, i am into it too, but it wasn't enough for me personally) anywho - just suggestions tiff

Flinders39

All of this. Thank you for posting.