PlasticInsanity

I'm going to keep this short because part of me feels pathetic for still being so upset about this. So long story short, I had a male roommate move in earlier this year. We didn't know eachother before but I thought we were getting "close", although I probably didn't give off that impression because I tried to stay in denial about how I felt - partly because I thought that's just one boundary that shouldn't be crossed, but also mostly fear of rejection. A few weeks ago I overheard him on the phone and confronted him and sure enough, he was moving out to help a friend with rent. At this point he was already paid til the end of the month, and I'll admit my part in poor money managing skills, I was hoping he'd stick to his word about staying another month so I could get things in order. He didn't. I pretty much ignored him for two weeks until a few days before he left, because I was obviously pissed lol. Then it clicked in one day that, 'oh yeah, he's going to be gone this week'. and I'm ashamed to admit I've been crying every day since I realized that, and it still feels like I haven't accepted that he's gone. I asked him to buy tickets for a wedding social I'm apart of; at first he said yes, then it changed to "I don't know". I was told once, "ASSUME makes an ASS out of U and ME" so I'm trying not to think too hard into that lol. In the last few days he was here and I realized how I felt, I tried to show affection and realized how robotic I can be. When it comes to initiating relationships, I stick to online dating sites and I let the guy message first - there's already a premise set, and I can't second-guess myself this way.

I'm here because I need some reassurance that I'm not alone. I'm not looking for advice, but I'm trying to be open to suggestions. I just want to know that other people have had similar "crazy"-type feelings too I guess. Tell me, have you been in a similar situation with dating? Have you had abandonment issues come up in a weird way?

DesertEyes

Hello , PlasticInsanity. This is a very small and quiet forum, the "regulars" check in about once a week so please don't feel ignored if it takes a few days to get replies to your questions. It's also a holiday weekend so it may not be till mid-week untill all the regulars cycle through.

Mike