recoverylady2

I need help/advice. In the past couple weeks, I have experienced many unplanned, emergency-type situations and events. I have a very, very hard time dealing with inconsistency or when things throw me off my routine.

To be more specific with my situation, I started dating (going on 3 months now) and my sleep schedule has been thrown off, schedule changes to incorporate dates, it's a really great relationship...just changed my sleep schedule and routine. It's worth it, believe me.

My diet, workout routine and my AA meetings/working the program has all changed, too.

My hot water heated exploded, flooded my basement and had to deal with all of the home ramifications-disorganization, etc...Then, this past weekend, my dog was sprayed by a skunk. Her and my whole house is in disarray. I hate uncleanliness and the smell alone (especially on the furniture) is literally driving me crazy.

On top of all of this, I'm not producing at work and have had to take a lot of time off due to all this. I also had to have a biopsy yesterday for some symptoms that have arisen from about 5 months ago. Results should be back on Tuesday.

I'm having all these bad, unhealthy thoughts, unable to focus, do not want to lose this new relationship or my job and just want to get back to normal again.

PLEASE, PLEASE help. I cannot afford to slip into a depression or worse...drink over all this.

Rebecc78

Hello!

I have very little advice given I'm only 11 days sober myself, but I'm also going through a work situation that sounds similar, basically I'm not getting results, the thought entered my mind today (my first day back) to have a drink, but I just think tomorrow will be SO MUCH worse if I do, having a drink will make it worse for sure.
So maybe just try and get back into a routine of meetings, early nights, if the new relationship is meant to be it will be regardless, sobriety needs to be your number one priority, so if you feel you're on a slippery slope just take a week to regroup, try your hardest at work, and then see where you are
Sorry to hear about your flat must be a nightmare!! X

doggonecarl

Take a deep breath. Don't work yourself into depression or drinking. Neither will change a darn thing....except make everything worse. As soon as you can fit back into your old routine, do so. Most importantly, sleep. You need sleep more than you need to date.

tomsteve

glad your recognizing it!
i think the best thing to do would be talk to your sponsor. idk how far youve been through the steps, but the 12 step says
.....and practiced these priniciples in all our affairs. it reads like its time to put the program into action in your life.

"....working the program has all changed, too"

heres a lil sumthins from the big book:
This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.


It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. "How can I best serve Thee - Thy will (not mine) be done." These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.

in all honesty, it reads like a whole LOT of unmanagability and insanity with a bit of selfishness tossed in.

its worth it- believe me.
I'm having all these bad, unhealthy thoughts, unable to focus, do not want to lose this new relationship or my job.....is literally driving me crazy

work THE program and toss YOUR program out

AnvilheadII

first things first.
Sobriety.
Sleep.
Self Care.
Support.

i'm not suggesting you ditch the new relationship, but it alone seems to be creating a lot of havoc downstream. people come into our lives to ENHANCE, not turn them over and shake them sideways.

get back to basics. get your meetings back on schedule, get the dog bathed, buy the industrial size FeBreeze, tell new guy to chill, get some sleep.

Keep it Simple.

DontRemember

I see nothing about those problems that drinking will fix. Stay sober and fix those things that are bothering you. Hang in here(sobriety)!

Edit: Does your new partner drink?

Bunny211

Do you have an AA sponsor? My sponsor, and my AA mentors, are my lifelines. I find that just sharing what is going on in my head, and in my life, with another woman in recovery lessens the burden so much. I always hear just what I need to hear...to put things in perspective, soothe my nerves, or (if need be) or kick me off my high horse and back into reality.

recoverylady2

Thank you for your advice. No, he has been sober for 14 years.

Dee74

Some good advice here recoverylady - look after yourself first -= find some balance...then you can look at everything else?

D

Outonthetiles

Knock off the dating for now. Work on yourself for at least three months.

wpainterw

You've got a lot of good advice here. I believe very strongly in "Easy Does It" One thing at a time. Of course that's easy to say when everything seems to be breaking loose, skunks, exploding hot water heaters! Seems like a bit of triage (setting priorities) is all important. If your date hasn't seen all the chaos then clue him in. Say you need a break to sort everything out and it's not saying goodbye. Keeping in close touch with your sponsor is very important. One day at a time. Triage. Priorities. And avoid the skunks, particularly their rear end. I meet one occasionally and say a friendly hello to the front end. If I smell one in the yard I don't let the dog out. Same for raccoons, which are sometimes rabid. I would think the boyfriend does not want to come around until the skunk smell is gone.

W.

recoverylady2

Thank you all so very, very much.

ChloeRose63

Take it one thing at a time and one day at a time. I sort out my problems with what is "major league" and what is "minor league" ( I like baseball). I handle what I can do today and leave the rest for another day. Step away. Get some rest. Stay sober.

PlayStation4

Recoverylady2 my only advice would be slow down, you seem like your mind is racing the way your listing off problems, aa says a day at a time, in your situation I'd bring it back to an hour at a time, work through these situations one by one and you will get there, slowly slowly, a man can eat an elephant but he does it bit by bit by bit by bit , something I read ha