SimplyFree

I think everyone experience deja vu from time to time. When I was drinking it happened from once in a while. But since getting sober, it happens once or twice a week. The problem is that is comes with this wave of dread or doom. That feeling you get in the morning after a bender when you start to remember what you said or did. Or reading your drunk texting. For example, I'm sweeping the garage today, thinking about nothing special and this emotional wave of shame comes rolling over me like I had alienated my kids or committed a crime. But the most criminal thing I've done is work, stay sober, and eat lasagna. I tell myself it's just an emotion passing through and I'm fine, but you know how you get emotional leftovers and the feeling hangs around for a few hours. Just a wierd thing. I never use to experience these.

Dee74

I'm not sure it's recovery related so much as depression related for me because it predates my drinking.

I used to feel a sense of doom & fear that really had no basis in reality. Sometimes it was almost crippling...

It's much better now that it used to be. I hope it works out that way for you too SF

D

SimplyFree

It's just annoying. Work is pretty stressful currently and will continue so for another month. Maybe that is causing it too. I suppose is could be depression symptoms mixed with other illusionary emotions. Same old crap.

Mags1

I had them, clouds of doom passing over, mine was depression related. Being sober showed them more and I was able to do something about it.

tomsteve

maybe it goes a little deeper and its has to do with actions and feelings when you were drinking? maybe the feelings are connected to something you did in the past you should make amends for?

im thinkin that because you describe it as

"That feeling you get in the morning after a bender when you start to remember what you said or did. Or reading your drunk texting. "

tomsteve

yes, but one less ingredient- alcohol.
so going to be easier to treat- easier to find solutions for it.

tealily

Yes, I have this too, though I also think it was/is more anxiety/depression related in my case. I often used to wake up with a jolt of panic, my mind searching for what I had to worry about that day, and then latching on. It was worse when I was drinking (and I had more behavior to regret).

Or I'd be just sitting minding my own business (like you sweeping the garage) and a wave of anxiety, dread and doom would hit me about a life situation that seemed overwhelmingly awful and impossible -- but most often was just one of the many normal ups and downs that we and our families all have -- but which my mind turned into the worst ever, with no hope of a better day.

I am pretty sure now this is part of why I started drinking damagingly, to self medicate for anxiety. Obviously it was a terrible way to "treat" it, for all the obvious reasons and also because drinking actually makes anxiety worse.

So the best first step you have taken to feeling better is that you are not drinking!

heavencanwait

This too shall pass. Recovery is in the works.

SimplyFree

I keep thinking I should go talk to the doctor about meds. Sigh....i hoped my depression would somehow be ok when I stopped alcohol. It makes me angry to think about having to be on meds. Add it to another part of me that I have to admit is jacked up and it's not like meds will enable me to be happy.

2ndhandrose

SimplyFree, one of the best things I did for myself after I stopped drinking was listen to my doctor. I have had untreated depression for years. After I stopped drinking my anxiety lessened considerably but the depression did not.

I feel no shame because I need an AD to level the playing field and help me function normally.

A conversation with your doctor can't hurt.