To love something more than the addiction itself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 51
To love something more than the addiction itself
I cant remember where I came across this quote,but I know these words struck a cord with me being a single mum.the words hurt like a knife but in a way saved me and sent me on a path of determination,because I DID love somthing more than the addiction and thats my child ( im filling up just writing this) ok the tears are running down to my chin! I beat my addiction with drink about 4 months ago and I have never looked back or craved drink since..I never thought id hear myself say that..im now working really hard with my second addiction with pain killers and getting there daily im pleased to say..I feel in a lonely scary place if im honest but im determind as hell to reach the clean side..the little voice I hear first thing in the morning shouting "morning mummy" from the other room reminds me why im doing this.my child deserves the very best of me,not this half shell addicted dependant woman iv become..the words are hard and they hurt ( to love something more than the addiction itself) please dont have a go at me for sharing this.I just thought since these words helped and are helping me so much that maybe someone else could do with hearing them..were all in this together no matter what the addiction.this forum is a blessing in more ways than 1..its a safe place to off load and be honest..they say its sometimes easier to talk or admit your problems with people who arent emotionally attached to you..I find this so true.its hard for me to share with family members how I really feel.1 I dont want them to worry about me.2 I dont want to be a burden and 3 I defiantly do not need lectured by anyone that has no idea what its like being an addict..so yea for me this is my safe supporting place..theres fight in me and fight in you or we wouldn't be here,lets fight together.for the lucky ones who do have a loving supportive family,you are truley blessed.for me this forum is like that family and im grateful for that.thankyou x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 51
Today has been a nice day,postiing here to look back on "if" I do have a bad or bad days to remind myself that good days are possible even during recovery! Sat here feeling content with myself,another day nearly done and nothings gonna stop me now
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 51
Hi jezzi, it really is hun,sometimes I cant think about my drinking days because the guilt is awfull,but over time Its got easier to look back and feel more happy thoughts than guilty ones because im not in that place anymore,drink took so much from me already and now im free of it I need to let go of the guilt aswell otherwise it still has some place in my life,not physically but mentally if that makes sense.so I try my hardest now to focus on how far ive come and how thankful I am to myself for taking back control of my life and my emotions.I tried many times over the years to stop but couldnt,i failed because my reasons for trying to stop all felt forced and inside I didnt feel "ready" I knew that was the key to quitting and I begged and pleased with my own mind for that day to hurry up and come.people say its like something inside you just clicks! They are right..something DID click inside me and I was ready.I didnt want to go cold turkey and suffer the awfull withdrawals so I made a plan to cut down daily (think it took me a week) the proudness in myself each day really spurred me on.on my last day of drinking I was happy to put that empty bottle in the bin once and for all.my first day free of drink was the best feeling ever,i remember walking down the street thinking oh my god,im actually doing this..im up washed dressed make up on functioning with a smile on my face being sociable with the outside world! Ive never looked back hun honestly and had no craving for the drink.I look better,feel better but most of all im a better mother and im truley gratefull for that.like you said hun they are worth it and deserve the best of us x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 51
That is so nice to hear hun that this quote has touched you too.its suprising how a small quote like this can have such a massive impact on our thoughts.it helped me so much and I really hope it helps more people..stay strong hun x
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)