Day One for me here...
Day One for me here...
withdrawls...lets all go through this over and over again, plus the mental anguish we suffer on those we love....c mon its the best high ever...sarcasim... well im denying my addiction its drug ... what do you expect... it looks out of my eyes and sees a recoevry chat forum instead of the dope lady....or the usual hand full of pills.... expect him to come off a little pissy, My "addiction" that is.
My name is David, Im an Addict.. ODAT
yours daily [JDG]-Jester160
I David, I'm jojo and I'm an addict, too (rx pills). I am on day 7 and I gotta tell ya, I didn't know if I was gonna make it, especially the first three days. It's different for everyone, I know. Days 5, 6 and 7 have gotten much better physically and a little better mentally. My body and brain are both pretty scrambled.
What helps me is reaching out to people-- this board is good, meetings are great (can you get to one in your area?), talking to people on the phone helps, etc.
I'm with you on the mental/emotional pain and anguish of having to go through this. I've been relapsing on and off for a year and, let me tell you, I can't take it anymore. For me it's life and death. But it's hard to be in so much pain... I can't use... I can't quit. Ya know? I've been brutal with myself, feeling so overwhelmed with guilt and shame. And that's the WORST thing I can do/feel right now.
Don't know if that helps... I'm there for you if you want to talk.
jojo
What helps me is reaching out to people-- this board is good, meetings are great (can you get to one in your area?), talking to people on the phone helps, etc.
I'm with you on the mental/emotional pain and anguish of having to go through this. I've been relapsing on and off for a year and, let me tell you, I can't take it anymore. For me it's life and death. But it's hard to be in so much pain... I can't use... I can't quit. Ya know? I've been brutal with myself, feeling so overwhelmed with guilt and shame. And that's the WORST thing I can do/feel right now.
Don't know if that helps... I'm there for you if you want to talk.
jojo
Hi guys, I'm Jonathan and I'm an addict. The pain will pass. It takes a different amount of time for everyone. Once it passes, you're going to start feeling pretty good about being clean. This is what is known as 'a pink cloud.' I strongly suggest you attend meetings, at least 90 meetings in your first 90 days, get a sponsor - a face to face sponsor, not an online sponsor, get phone numbers of people in recovery and use them. Try to get yourselves a committment, a coffee committment is a great way to start. Talk about how you're feeling, the good and the bad. Listen. Learn to listen and listen to learn. You've probably already heard about people, places, and things. We must change our playgrounds, playmates, and playthings if we are to stay clean. Give yourselves every opportunity to succeed. Stick with the winners. Most importantly, don't use, no matter what. If the urge to use gets too strong, reach out, don't try to go it alone. Remember, just don't use today. If today seems too long, just don't use right now. For me, a lot of the beginning stages were about not using minute to minute. Eventualy the minutes grew to hours, the hours grew to a day, and one day at time, I've put together a little clean time. I was someone who never thought I would be living a life without drugs. I was someone who thought I would die an active addict. I was someone who never thought he could know what happiness or acceptane of myself was. I wouldn't trade my best day of using for my worst day in recovery. Just keep coming, it gets better. Like I said, give yourselves every opportunity to succeed. The pink cloud will burst and when it does, you want to have yourselves with a solid foundation of recovery. If I can do it, so can you. Welcome!
'You who are on the road, must have a code that you can live by. And so, become yourself, because the past, is just a good-bye.'
Stepping Through Life...
'You who are on the road, must have a code that you can live by. And so, become yourself, because the past, is just a good-bye.'
Stepping Through Life...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: san jose, ca
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by MightyJester160
withdrawls...lets all go through this over and over again, plus the mental anguish we suffer on those we love....c mon its the best high ever...sarcasim... well im denying my addiction its drug ... what do you expect... it looks out of my eyes and sees a recoevry chat forum instead of the dope lady....or the usual hand full of pills.... expect him to come off a little pissy, My "addiction" that is.
My name is David, Im an Addict.. ODAT
yours daily [JDG]-Jester160
I'm new here too. Welcome aboard.
I don't know about some of you but I am not sobering up yet, but whats great about this place is you can just talk to other people. I am under no pressure to quit drinking but I can get a lot of good advice here and just talk. And there are a lot of smart people around here. Well good luck to you and keep in touch.
-Kauai
Hey, Eddie. I see your posts around. Glad you're here to offer encouragement. I am on day 8. I am glad, but still mad at myself for even being here. Ugh. But today I am clean and sober. I can do it and so can we all.
jojo
jojo
Hi Everyone, and welcome,
This is a great place to meet recovering people. Get to know us, and let us get to know you. There are alot of good suggestions given on these boards. I wish you all well.
Sherry, recovering addict
This is a great place to meet recovering people. Get to know us, and let us get to know you. There are alot of good suggestions given on these boards. I wish you all well.
Sherry, recovering addict
Hello....
and big welcome to all the new folks....
jojo
jonathan
david
kauai
againstthewind
jojo you should be proud of yourself for being here... this place helps keep this drunk dry. I am glad and grateful to be a part of this place.
Getting sober from any addiction totally sucks.
Then you start to feel better, but your addiction continues to pick away at your resolve to stay clean.
That is where I have found my greatest challenges... staying sober.
But I do know one thing with certainty, me being sober is way better than me being drunk and crazy... :sink
There is a little bit of everything goin' on around here....
Kauai glad you your snoopin' around...
Looking forward to getting to know ya'll.
Happy Halloween!!!
:hmummy
and big welcome to all the new folks....
jojo
jonathan
david
kauai
againstthewind
jojo you should be proud of yourself for being here... this place helps keep this drunk dry. I am glad and grateful to be a part of this place.
Getting sober from any addiction totally sucks.
Then you start to feel better, but your addiction continues to pick away at your resolve to stay clean.
That is where I have found my greatest challenges... staying sober.
But I do know one thing with certainty, me being sober is way better than me being drunk and crazy... :sink
There is a little bit of everything goin' on around here....
Kauai glad you your snoopin' around...
Looking forward to getting to know ya'll.
Happy Halloween!!!
:hmummy
Originally Posted by jojoZ
I am on day 8. I am glad, but still mad at myself for even being here. Ugh. But today I am clean and sober. I can do it and so can we all.
Love and hugs, Eddie
Originally Posted by lost puppy
I am new too, seems like a great idea, at least i feel better verbalizing, seems to put it in a new light, I HAVE A PROBLEM!, and I think I can win!, maybe with help...
You definitely can! In recovery, we surrender to win. Welcome. Take the suggestions given to you by people with time. Make meetings, talk about how you're feeling, stay away from people, places, and things, get a sponsor and use that sponsor, and most of all, don't use and keep coming.
'You who are on the road, must have a code that you can live by. And so, become yourself, because the past, is just a good-bye.'
Stepping Through Life...
Wecome David,and the rest of you new folks!This is THE place to come to for good advice and just to unload.Today makes 8 weeks clean for me and I can tell you the first few weeks were quite horrible but at this point my sense of accomplishment is over riding all the cravings I occasionally get.Hang in there!And lean on this forum because the people here are awesome!I wish I could spend more time here but there is so much to do and so little time(now that I'm straight)!God bless you all!
"hell' i dont have to go there i invented it" ** Frank C, Enholm}, My Father.
since ive begun ******* up the Mrs Jesters life she has gained some skills that would have my dad re thinking weather satan is actually a woman or a man...
a while back i heard her mumbling about some detatchment thingy... so i was living in 2 fifths of vodka ....not per day rather between the time i was off work and bed time er... drunk time. matter of say 7 hours ... when i gave up vodka 3 mos ago i was met by someone in my wifes skin that to me in my fog might as well have been a hologram created from the writings of an alanon meeting that never ended..it got to the point that i just said *** it youre right , now what.. that was only 2 weeks of hell for her with me while i played her like a poker hand.. you see i knew the neighbor lady could get vikes.. so in my supposed first day of sobriety i was happily numb on pain pills... sobriety was lookin like the right thing for me.. why did i wait so long i was thinking....to quit.
i was a trooper to the Mrs.. ack..
pardon me for stopping there ill pick up tomolly when im off work. its time for me to go.. i posted my daily entry on the Vicodin thread if you wanna read more there on whats happenin with me daily.. Just For Today.
Yours Daily
[JDG]-Judge160
since ive begun ******* up the Mrs Jesters life she has gained some skills that would have my dad re thinking weather satan is actually a woman or a man...
a while back i heard her mumbling about some detatchment thingy... so i was living in 2 fifths of vodka ....not per day rather between the time i was off work and bed time er... drunk time. matter of say 7 hours ... when i gave up vodka 3 mos ago i was met by someone in my wifes skin that to me in my fog might as well have been a hologram created from the writings of an alanon meeting that never ended..it got to the point that i just said *** it youre right , now what.. that was only 2 weeks of hell for her with me while i played her like a poker hand.. you see i knew the neighbor lady could get vikes.. so in my supposed first day of sobriety i was happily numb on pain pills... sobriety was lookin like the right thing for me.. why did i wait so long i was thinking....to quit.
i was a trooper to the Mrs.. ack..
pardon me for stopping there ill pick up tomolly when im off work. its time for me to go.. i posted my daily entry on the Vicodin thread if you wanna read more there on whats happenin with me daily.. Just For Today.
Yours Daily
[JDG]-Judge160
Tennacious
:tri
out of all the ways i could have said i quit i chose the header on this thread.. there is no way i am still useing... i am in damage assement and stabilizeation mode... im not new at dealing with my addictive behaviour im just not perfect at staying on top of it.....and you ????
when was the last time you walked on water.
youre coming off a little strong there with your quote...
ect..ect...ect.
i came home tonite looking foreward to trying to put some more of my thoughts down about whats going on with me .. i do not have 30 days sobriety yet so im still a newcomer... a 3 day sober newcomer.. and anything nice or encourageing i can read here helps me to feel like sharing... personal and intimate details about how i have living these last years of my addiction..i really need to get to the root of my willingness to surrender myself to escapeisim. and all the other anti-reality backstepping.
i hear the train a coming its rolling round the bend i aint seen my life in so long i dont know where its been. im not stuck in any prision and time does not have to drag on..
THANX FOR THE REALITY CHECK. for a min there i thought i was doing something.
Yours Daily
[JDG]-Jester160
out of all the ways i could have said i quit i chose the header on this thread.. there is no way i am still useing... i am in damage assement and stabilizeation mode... im not new at dealing with my addictive behaviour im just not perfect at staying on top of it.....and you ????
when was the last time you walked on water.
youre coming off a little strong there with your quote...
ect..ect...ect.
i came home tonite looking foreward to trying to put some more of my thoughts down about whats going on with me .. i do not have 30 days sobriety yet so im still a newcomer... a 3 day sober newcomer.. and anything nice or encourageing i can read here helps me to feel like sharing... personal and intimate details about how i have living these last years of my addiction..i really need to get to the root of my willingness to surrender myself to escapeisim. and all the other anti-reality backstepping.
i hear the train a coming its rolling round the bend i aint seen my life in so long i dont know where its been. im not stuck in any prision and time does not have to drag on..
THANX FOR THE REALITY CHECK. for a min there i thought i was doing something.
Yours Daily
[JDG]-Jester160
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)