HappyPineapple

Hi all! Thank you so much for welcoming a newcomer so friendly. I've been lurking around for a while and this week I dared to join - it's been amazing to notice how warm community this is.

I've studied a lot and ran into triggers and recovery plan based on your triggers. The problem for me is that many articles and books list example triggers that are all negative in a way: shock, trauma, stress, loss etc.

I've always been a "reward drinker" as in I've justified and given myself a permission to drink as a reward. So I drank after I went for a run, after I hit the gym (yes, I actually exercise to reward myself with drinking....), I drank when I cleaned the house, after meal prep, after being a good mom, after succeeding at work... You name it. Any good action has given me a reason. Does this sound all nuts? But clearly my triggers are the kind of good stuff happening and me causing myself a celebratory hangover and hell.

Anyone else? Or any advice as to what to do differently and how to avoid reward drinks? I don't want to avoid the good stuff like gym, so how to replace the trigger of reward?

dpac414

You know, I actually am very similar to you in that regard. It came to be that I couldn't get anything done without the promise of a drink afterwards, or the thought that I'm only allowed to drink if I do it while cleaning, doing laundry, etc.

Granted I also drank when I had crap days too (or whatever excuse I could come up with really).

I want to just say "go to the gym because it feels good!" But having something to look forward to is always nice after doing something you don't want to. Is there anything else you do for yourself that you could swap out for some kind of reward? For example, I LOVE facemasks and other similar products bc they make me feel like I'm taking care of myself even if they do nothing. If I only allowed myself to use a facemask after cleaning or doing laundry, it might help motivate me more? And it's largely harmless.

I think if you tried different things like that, it could help. Maybe that way you can try to remove the association with doing something good = drinking to something better?

dpac414

Also, even seemingly chidish stuff could help too, like a sticker chart.

I get to mark down every day that I'm sober on my calendar, and that's really helped me stay on track because I really wanna put that big red S on each day.

Maybe you could do something like that for going to the gym/meal prepping/cleaning etc and tally them up every month/week whatever you feel and have one solid reward of something else you really like?

Idk if I'm way off track here....just throwing stuff out there. I feel like as long as you reward yourself with things that don't hurt you or anyone else it's okay.

Anna

I drank over the good things in my life and the negative things. Really, anything can be a trigger to drink and clearly it's not possible to avoid everything. So, I stayed away from people and places where alcohol was being served. From time to time I'd buy myself something I had wanted, such as a new book or a special coffee. I hope you find something that works for you.

AnvilheadII

ah, the I Deserve This thing!!

First off it's not possible to avoid every trigger - what we want to do is IDENTIFY what rings our little bell, so we are not caught off guard and also to begin desensitizing to those bell rings.

but before getting into any of that we have to first COMMIT to not drinking, period, end of story, NO MATTER WHAT. so it doesn't matter if you ran a marathon WHILE vacuuming, no means no.

i thought your wording was very interesting and very insightful - you didn't reward yourself for exercising, you exercised so you could reward yourself with a drink.........or six.

Dee74

I think you can make a recovery plan based on happy triggers as much as negative ones.

The process should be more or less exactly the same.

Think about the notion of reward, think about other rewards that are healthy and positive...play the tape all the way through to the non rewarding parts of a bender...surf that urge..have numbers to call or people to post to when your AV kicks off...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

january161992

by thinking about the consequences of one drink

one drink leads to a drunk

and your "hangover and hell"

HappyPineapple

Thank you all for the suggestions and advice! I know - the simplest thing to do is simply think about the consequences as you said january =)

As Ive identified concrete situations that are hard for me, I guess just NOT having the drink and rewarding myself of that would be the best thing to do, to tackle such trigger. A little silly, but I think the sticker chart isn't that bad idea Honestly, people count their sober days in many ways: mine could be something visual like that to actually get to do an ACTION to reward myself. And well, not drinking will require me to figure out new things to do and ways to live, so I just simply need to find new ways to enjoy life and relax and be happy. I'm sure I wont find those new ways to act in a day or a week or a month - but I appreciate all these tips <3

Thank you!

HappyPineapple

Eh... yes - I try to be honest Thus the wording.... Thanks for the tips!