Posting to hold myself accountable
Posting to hold myself accountable
I am STRUGGLING today. I am on vacation in Florida, staying with my dad. Other than while pregnant, I have had alcohol every time I've seen my dad since I was about 15. At cocktail hour (starting at 3pm), I had a slushy drink with the kids, but really wanted the manhattan he made.
I made it through but it is the most struggle I have had since I got sober. It's 77 days today.
I made it through but it is the most struggle I have had since I got sober. It's 77 days today.
You made it through! it sounds tough but you are doing it.
Those slushed drinks are awesome in the heat - as long as you don't suffer 'brain-freeze'
Well done on your sober day 77
Those slushed drinks are awesome in the heat - as long as you don't suffer 'brain-freeze'
Well done on your sober day 77
Last edited by CelticZebra; 08-20-2017 at 05:13 PM. Reason: Add time congrats
Hi applewakesup
I drank with my dad too - trouble was after he had two scotches or whatever he;d stop. I'd go home and party on for weeks.
My Dad had a little trouble adjusting to the loss of a drinking biddy but he sees I'm so much happier now so I think he's ok with it.
Recovery has to come first.
D
I drank with my dad too - trouble was after he had two scotches or whatever he;d stop. I'd go home and party on for weeks.
My Dad had a little trouble adjusting to the loss of a drinking biddy but he sees I'm so much happier now so I think he's ok with it.
Recovery has to come first.
D
We went out for an ice cream and now I'm in bed with my book. I'm so glad I'm going to bed sober.
It's amazing how my thinking went spiraling down. I was actually working out how I could drink and it would be fine. I convinced myself that I completely overreacted about drinking and that I should just drink on vacation...maybe sometimes when friends come over... back to hungover every weekend.
Lesson for tonight: I don't have to drink, even if I want to.
I will be checking in here as much as possible this week to keep myself from letting that spiraling talk get into my head.
Thanks all!!!
It's amazing how my thinking went spiraling down. I was actually working out how I could drink and it would be fine. I convinced myself that I completely overreacted about drinking and that I should just drink on vacation...maybe sometimes when friends come over... back to hungover every weekend.
Lesson for tonight: I don't have to drink, even if I want to.
I will be checking in here as much as possible this week to keep myself from letting that spiraling talk get into my head.
Thanks all!!!
Apple, I just now saw this thread. I'm sorry not till now. I am so sorry you are struggling, but wow it sounds like you are handling it SO well. You recognize the lie of alcohol. It's hard now, but if you get through it, each time will be easier.
On a recent vacation I had similar thoughts, but I kept reminding myself of how awful I would feel (physically and emotionally) if I wasted my time and energy and soul on our vacation dulling and poisoning myself with alcohol. I was able to experience every day fully, be present for my family, and actually FEEL GOOD every single morning, with no regrets.
Focus on the good.. there's so much of it! Getting through these "firsts" will make you stronger. Drinking with your dad is a routine that can be broken. You were able to do it when you were pregnant for the sake of your baby. You can do it now for the sake of YOU, your health, your strength, and the better more meaningul life you want and are creating. You are worth it! The wish for alcohol is a lie.
New routines can be made. Substitute a beautiful, or even fancy, non alcoholic drink and realize how much more engaged and real and present you are able to be with your dad.
Hang in there.. keep posting.. We understand and are here for you. You're doing great!!
90 days is within reach, and beyond. It'll just get better.
Hugs to you.
On a recent vacation I had similar thoughts, but I kept reminding myself of how awful I would feel (physically and emotionally) if I wasted my time and energy and soul on our vacation dulling and poisoning myself with alcohol. I was able to experience every day fully, be present for my family, and actually FEEL GOOD every single morning, with no regrets.
Focus on the good.. there's so much of it! Getting through these "firsts" will make you stronger. Drinking with your dad is a routine that can be broken. You were able to do it when you were pregnant for the sake of your baby. You can do it now for the sake of YOU, your health, your strength, and the better more meaningul life you want and are creating. You are worth it! The wish for alcohol is a lie.
New routines can be made. Substitute a beautiful, or even fancy, non alcoholic drink and realize how much more engaged and real and present you are able to be with your dad.
Hang in there.. keep posting.. We understand and are here for you. You're doing great!!
90 days is within reach, and beyond. It'll just get better.
Hugs to you.
Hi Apple. On vacation in Florida? Wow! You're so lucky to have family there! It's unnerving how being out of our comfort zones can kick start that insidious AV isn't it? For me its the opposite. Being alone wakes mine up. Youre maming wonderful memoeies swwetheart and slowly being sober with your dad will become normal too. Does your dad know you about your decision?
Take care apple and enjoy your vacation!!!!!
Take care apple and enjoy your vacation!!!!!
Thanks everyone! I have made it through almost the whole vacation. Each day, I struggle a bit at cocktail hour and then after dinner when everyone sits around and has more drinks. Tonight I really wished I could join. It was fun to laugh and tell stories, even without alcohol but if I'm being honest, I will say that I felt like it would be more fun if I was drinking with them.
However, I did not drink. And now, just a couple hours later, I am here, feeling so good and so grateful that I didn't have even one. I am going to watch the sunrise again tomorrow and if I was drinking there is no way I would get up early enough to enjoy it.
Thank you all again for your support!
However, I did not drink. And now, just a couple hours later, I am here, feeling so good and so grateful that I didn't have even one. I am going to watch the sunrise again tomorrow and if I was drinking there is no way I would get up early enough to enjoy it.
Thank you all again for your support!
You're handling the situation perfectly Apple. You're breaking a difficult pattern of drinking at a certain time with your family on vacation. Your mind will at some point have to relearn to sit with your dad on vacation while not drinking. After awhile drinking will be removed from the equation and it will just be you enjoying your time. You're using your tools of recovery by logging in and talking it out.
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