griffey84

Haven't made a post in a couple days and went to a meeting last night I'm able to drive past the liquor store I still have the urge to stop but I haven't and wont shakes have started to subside and finally able to eat the depression is still pretty serious as well as the anxiety large groups fast movement and unexpected noises bothers me but the depression and anxiety I suffered from before are part of the reason I drank trying to work on the 12 steps can't get out of my head my kids and losing the love of my life because of the drinking and the lies about the drinking which is a catch-22 because of the number of times I have lied about not drinking and when I am quitting and trying everything I can do I'm being accused of it which makes it harder because it makes me want to say f it and go get a bottle but I'm not going to as bad as it hurts I deserve it the only thing I can do now is prove it with my actions which is hard to do when the one you love lives 5 hours away and and she feels like she cannot trust you but anyway enough of the rambling on working on day 6 still having the nightmares and the cold sweats trying to concentrate more on work and reading but I can do this willing to do anything trying everything best of luck best of wishes thank all of you for your kind words and your support may you have a blessed day and a wonderful weekend

CansOfOld

I feel like I had to read that entire post in one breath .

Congrats on making it this far! One day at a time ... one day at a time.

Dee74

Just focus on you for now Griffey - get yourself well and make yourself secure in your recovery. Then you'll be in a much better headspace to take care of all the other things that trouble you.

5 days is great - keep it going