Toughroad1209

Hey this is Toughroad1209,

This is my first post. I lived a roller coaster of a life so far. I have a lot to be happy about with my family , but I can't stop being destructive!..I drink heavily and embarrass my wife!...I go on binges for days and when I get out of it I'm left feeling miserable since I abandoned them or put myself in bad situations. I've been to AA and into a rehab facility, but I always go back to my ways. She has been nothing but supportive but I know she's tired of me! I recently have went on a bing and got home 3 days ago...after an 8 year relationship I want to change for my family..I hate what I see in the mirror..but my family deserves better and I want to be here for them. As I lay here going through withdrawals I swear I won't let this happen again!...it's an every day process to stay in control that I started but I'm ready this time! Tired of the alternative!

Thanks for whoever read this. I really needed to vent since I can't

ChloeRose63

Being tired means it is time for change! Use the next few days to really make a committment to begin a new way of living. It all starts with a new mindset. The voice in your head must keep telling you that from this moment forward you will begin to approach your hours, days, weeks, months and years doing things differently than what you have done in the past. You are a new creation...so create a better you!!! You 'old' self is gone. Put it behind you and become the person you always wanted to be. Your family deserves your best you. Give them that 'gift'. It is long overdue!!

Nowsthetime

Ok, you understand now so this is when the work begins.

Do you have a plan? It's all about working at sobriety everyday. Intensively at the beginning and then it starts getting easier.

I hope to see you around!

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR! Congratulations on your decision to live a sober life!

Yes you can. You just haven't yet.

Plan the work.
Work the plan.
You can do this!

Bird615

Welcome, Toughroad! SR is a great place if you want help getting off that rollercoaster; there's lots of information and support for you here.

SimplyFree

I'm glad you are here. Getting sober was motivated by being a better Dad for my kids. I really wanted that and it continues to motivate me. Getting sober is possible and yes making a plan is important. SR is a great support community so read, Lear, post often. It is worth the effort.

PhoenixJ

Support to to you. Please keep trying- make changes.....put the same effort into not drinking as you do now in drinking. Do not go down my path. My soon to be ex wife and my 2 adult sons used to love and support me. I used to have a very good, tenured position. A dream home we built. etc. etc. My family disowned me as I was dying in hospital (from drinking- burns). I lost everything. It is possible- to learn from others. By the stories here. CBT with a psychologist. Meetings until I am fed up with them- and then more meetings and more meetings. Anything to stop me drinking. That is the tip of my iceberg horrible story.
Sober nearly 19 months now and learning to live. In a very serious long term recovery/housing program.

If I drink again- next time I will stay dead. Please do not travel that path.

Toughroad1209

Thanks for the support! Nice to have you guys respond...Four days in now, and my body's starting to feel better!

Jezzi

welcome tough. This is a great community of people where you'll find loads of support and advice. Make it a point to log in and browse the forums/post everyday and it'll help tremendously

Toughroad1209

Thanks, my plan is to see a doctor. Go back to the gym regularly...when I'm drinking, I don't go to the gym. Since I'm at home spending days getting over hangovers. I may go back to AA meetings but I'll definitely continue to post and read. It's another tool to think of or do besides drinking

Toughroad1209

I also strayed away from my beliefs in God...my mind would be cloudy with everything else I wouldn't think of what's important

Toughroad1209

Thanks for your reply and experiences!...stay strong during your recovery as your almost at 2 years! Proud of you!

Dee74

Welcome ToughRoad

D

Hevyn

Happy to have you with us, Toughroad. This is a great place for talking things over with those who have been there. I'm glad you've made the decision to reclaim your life. We know you can do it.