Mind and physical havens
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 72
Mind and physical havens
As I sit in yet another airport lounge awaiting the sun to rise I reflect on my and I guess the journey of many other SR bloggers.
I and you are not alone and that perhaps provides the greatest comfort when adversity is at the door.
When dreams and hope are upended and replaced with broken trust, abuse and lies it makes you question your very being.
My recovering AW told me that she should never have had kids, should never had got married the other day.......great!
I have three children I adore and who have become much closer to after the trauma of the destructive past few years.
The next few months will see major changes as the current "under the same roof" arrangements can no longer continue for my own sanity and well being. It will be hard for the kids but I will always be there for them and they may may end up living with me depending on how my recovering AW journey progesses.
Trying to manage the inevitable with dignity and acceptance that our journeys must now follow different directions will be challenging.
Sometimes I feel like I could sleep for 48 hours but I know the thought police will interrupt me every few hours to question, remember and torment.
What are your mind and physical havens that give you comfort?
I and you are not alone and that perhaps provides the greatest comfort when adversity is at the door.
When dreams and hope are upended and replaced with broken trust, abuse and lies it makes you question your very being.
My recovering AW told me that she should never have had kids, should never had got married the other day.......great!
I have three children I adore and who have become much closer to after the trauma of the destructive past few years.
The next few months will see major changes as the current "under the same roof" arrangements can no longer continue for my own sanity and well being. It will be hard for the kids but I will always be there for them and they may may end up living with me depending on how my recovering AW journey progesses.
Trying to manage the inevitable with dignity and acceptance that our journeys must now follow different directions will be challenging.
Sometimes I feel like I could sleep for 48 hours but I know the thought police will interrupt me every few hours to question, remember and torment.
What are your mind and physical havens that give you comfort?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Fishing. When I was with xabf, i went fishing A LOT.
I still do...but because it makes me happy, rather than to escape.
Reading, music, meditation, time alone and with friends, physical exercise all helped me as well. They still do when my mind won't slow down.
Hang in there....this is temporary. Sending you peace, clarity, strength, all that.
I still do...but because it makes me happy, rather than to escape.
Reading, music, meditation, time alone and with friends, physical exercise all helped me as well. They still do when my mind won't slow down.
Hang in there....this is temporary. Sending you peace, clarity, strength, all that.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
anodes.....In my case....It was very important for me to remember that I was entitled to be happy, in this life. I wanted to thrive...not just survive....
This might sound silly, to you....but, I liked to read autobiographies by other people who had faced great adversity.....it took my mind away from my own issues and gave me inspiration as to what is possible......
When I would feel "down"....I would change the chemistry in my mind (and change the hemispheres) by listening to funky, funky, music (loud)....lol......
This might sound silly, to you....but, I liked to read autobiographies by other people who had faced great adversity.....it took my mind away from my own issues and gave me inspiration as to what is possible......
When I would feel "down"....I would change the chemistry in my mind (and change the hemispheres) by listening to funky, funky, music (loud)....lol......
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
"The next few months will see major changes as the current "under the same roof" arrangements can no longer continue for my own sanity and well being. It will be hard for the kids but I will always be there for them and they may may end up living with me depending on how my recovering AW journey progesses."
What a hard, hard place to be in. I am so sorry.
I know it is easier said than done, but maybe your wife should be the one to leave, and you stay with the kids? I know others here have a lot more wisdom about the legalities of those things than I do.
As for my "escapes," my faith is the chief one. Second to that, I like building scale models of historic buildings. I have little houses all lit up all around me. I consider them trophies of my recovery.
When I still lived with my ex, I drank, and I drank a LOT. I have been sober since February of 2014.
Keep coming back!
What a hard, hard place to be in. I am so sorry.
I know it is easier said than done, but maybe your wife should be the one to leave, and you stay with the kids? I know others here have a lot more wisdom about the legalities of those things than I do.
As for my "escapes," my faith is the chief one. Second to that, I like building scale models of historic buildings. I have little houses all lit up all around me. I consider them trophies of my recovery.
When I still lived with my ex, I drank, and I drank a LOT. I have been sober since February of 2014.
Keep coming back!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Oh gosh. SR was and is still huge for me. Exercise. Celebrate Recovery. And, just spending quality time with my kids, doing things we enjoy. Camping, movies, etc. Having as normal a life as possible. Friends whom I could tell the truth (most of them knew anyways)!
Basically taking the focus off my XAH and putting it where it should have always been, on my children and myself.
Hugs as you go through this process!
Basically taking the focus off my XAH and putting it where it should have always been, on my children and myself.
Hugs as you go through this process!
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