RuthJB88

Hi.

This is my first time admitting my problem. I've convinced myself for a very long time I don't have a problem as I'm fine health wise on the outside.

I can't remember the last day I didn't have a drink of alcohol. It's probably been months. I thought I didn't have an issue as I don't drink in the mornings. I start at 9pm but will have 3/4 - full bottle of wine on weekdays and a bottle of prosecco plus more every Friday and Saturday.

I don't really know what to do. I'm so new to all this. I'm 29 and can't carry on like this. I wake up fine and it doesn't affect my day (except being hungover at weekends). I have an 8 year old son and don't want him to eventually find out what I do to unwind every night.

Is it worth a visit to the doctor to stop? I've set myself so many days over the last year or so that I'll just stop and go cold turkey and I always fail, I just can't seem to not buy alcohol to have to wind down every evening. I'm terrified I'm going to kill myself.

Sorry this sounds very woe is me. But I've no one to tell this to as I'm too ashamed to tell anyone I know in person. I just don't know what to do or how to stop.

Any advice is so appreciated.

Thank you.

Mummyto2

Welcome, this is a great site and you will get lots of support, I would go to your doctors then perhaps see if there are any AA meetings near you good luck

RuthJB88

Thank you. I will definitely get myself booked in. I just want to not rely on alcohol to wind down anymore.

Mummyto2

That's great that you are taking that first step, as you say you don't want your son to see mummy like that, wishing you all the best and keep posting here lots of knowledge here

COYI

If you can, see your doctor. Don't under estimate the physical dimension to your addiction. There are treatments. Go to AA.

Best of luck!

Anna

Welcome, and it's normal to feel very scared when you are about to stop drinking. It's hard to imagine life without alcohol. But, if you look around here, you will see lots of people in recovery, who are doing great! You can find ways to relax through meditation, music, books, walking...there are lots of ways to decompress without alcohol.

CreativeThinker

Welcome Ruth!

Like you, I worried that I wouldn't be able to relax or control my anxiety once I stopped drinking. Guess what I discovered? The alcohol was what was making me feel stressed and anxious.

When I began my journey (6 months ago), I read and posted as much as I could here on SR. It helped me get through the initial stage of recovery and reinforced my reasons for taking alcohol out of my life forever.

You will do fine. Just make recovery your #1 priority and you will experience an entirely new life. One that is full and meaningful.

Wishing you all the best in your recovery!

least

Welcome to the family. It would be a smart move to ask your doctor for help in getting safely thru the physical withdrawal. During the first few days, the anxiety can be brutal and a lot of people start drinking again just to calm the w/d anxiety. A doctor can prescribe a short term benzo to get you thru the anxiety of the physical w/d.

Once you've detoxed, develop a plan to stay sober. There are lots of ways to stay sober. Find what works for you and work it like your life depends on it - cause it does!

I thought I was hopeless once too, but I'm coming up on 8 yrs sober, so if I can do it, you can too.

Dee74

Welcome Ruth - you're among friends here

D

Dee74

Welcome to you too COY1

D

Hevyn

Welcome, Ruth (and COY) - we're so glad to meet you.

I drank 30 yrs. & never imagined my life without it. Ruth, at 29 I still didn't acknowledge my problem - so I continued trying to use willpower to 'control' my drinking - which never worked once. Much later in life, I found myself drinking every day, completely dependent on it. This doesn't have to happen to you - I'm so glad you've recognized the problem and faced it. I hope you'll stay with us - you're in good company & we all understand.

decchemist

I said that to my sister (21 years sober) about my drinking. She said, "Neither did I because that would mean I was an alcoholic and I didn't want to be one of those."

grayghost1965

I would definitely go to your doctor; if you can't get in with him/her, go to your local ER and tell them you want to detox.

Berrybean

I remember thinking that AA was there to just stop me drinking. What I did not realise was that the 12-step program of recovery was all about moving past old hurts, shame, anger and resentments, and learning to live life on life's terms. Learning how to break that reliance on alcohol to wind down or celebrate or whatever. It's been an amazing journey.

BB

August252015

And you CAN! Welcome, and glad you joined us.

I quit from a VERY severe vodka habit there at the end (upping the ante from me huge wine consumption, daily) and lots of us have made the choice and change to a sober life, whatever our drinking habits were.

I'm a dedicated AAer and I also have a good team of drs who helped when I first quit, and continue to through my med regimen and visits to my psych every 2-3 mo.

Hope to see you around here- the Class of Aug 2017 thread is a good place to start as well!

RuthJB88

Thank you for all your support. I've had at least 3 sobers days a week recently but I can't seem to cut it all together. My doctor thinks there is no deep issues and wouldn't refer me to anything so I'm in this alone unless I try a different doctor. I'm having a very bad time, I'm hoping to be able to log in more now I have a new computer and try and keep myself on the straight and narrow.

Dee74

The community really helped me Ruth - post here every day or even multiple times a day if you need to

Why not check out our Class of September support thread?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html
D

Anna

Ruth, SR has been a lifeline for me, too. Why not stick around and read and post and be inspired. I'm glad you've had some sober days each week, but it's really easier to stop drinking altogether, than to try to moderate. I know you can do this and be the person you want to be.

JD

Welcome Ruth. You are so smart to recognize a problem and wanting to work on it. It took my 40 years of drinking before I got smart. You're young and have a lot of life ahead of you to enjoy. I don't have as much but I want and am enjoying everything I have left. You can do it and you'll find a lot of support here.

Joeshope54

I used to rationalize to myself that I wasn't too bad cause I didn't drink in the mornings​. I always thought that was when you had it bad. I used to drink every day never thought I had a problem until drinking related health issues. Good luck to you.