At breaking point
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 322
At breaking point
I really feel like Im going to snap.
I have had a huge row with my mum who I told about my drink problem 2 weeks ago. She has decided to give me notice for my paid role as my sisters carer because of it. (Bearing in mind she has had alcohol and mental health issues all my life and I was raised in care). She accused me of not being fit to look after my sister which isnt true and I have never had a drink when I am with her. This means I am now out of a job (i gave up my job to be her carer). In so worried about the future.
There was a can of beer in the fridge (hubbys). I got it out over an hour ago and have just been looking at it and contemplating whether to drink it. I am running a bath and going to meditate. Just gonna get from one hour to the next.
I have had a huge row with my mum who I told about my drink problem 2 weeks ago. She has decided to give me notice for my paid role as my sisters carer because of it. (Bearing in mind she has had alcohol and mental health issues all my life and I was raised in care). She accused me of not being fit to look after my sister which isnt true and I have never had a drink when I am with her. This means I am now out of a job (i gave up my job to be her carer). In so worried about the future.
There was a can of beer in the fridge (hubbys). I got it out over an hour ago and have just been looking at it and contemplating whether to drink it. I am running a bath and going to meditate. Just gonna get from one hour to the next.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
I'm sorry to hear this. Hopefully she will reconsider if you stay sober. Perhaps you can back to your old job?
There is *nothing that that can beer can do for you *except make all of this much, much worse.
Stay strong.
Jules
There is *nothing that that can beer can do for you *except make all of this much, much worse.
Stay strong.
Jules
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 322
She has behaved appalingly to me. I havent done anything wrong and drinking has not affected the support I give my sister. She is volatile and has bpd and is throwing this in my face, she is very manipulative
I told her as part of my bid to be honest and to get suppory but she was vile. She then was nice again and today blew up. I cant work with this volatility so I need to find something else asap. Im just not exctly in the best place for that right now being so early on in recovery. Maybe its what I need. I am just let down yet again by her lack of care and support.
Im still looking at the can.
I told her as part of my bid to be honest and to get suppory but she was vile. She then was nice again and today blew up. I cant work with this volatility so I need to find something else asap. Im just not exctly in the best place for that right now being so early on in recovery. Maybe its what I need. I am just let down yet again by her lack of care and support.
Im still looking at the can.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't tell anyone when I stopped drinking because I felt far too vulnerable to listen to comments. Just focus on you and staying sober. Hopefully you can find another job.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Sorry you have had this experience. I don't know how formal the agreement with your mother is (contract??) but it is not legal to dismiss someone for having alcohol issues if it is not affecting their performance, and then it would need formal warnings. I suspect that the arrangement is less formal though.
Perhaps it is best to have some distance between you and your mother anyway if the relationship isn't so great. Once your sobriety is more solid and you're feeling more secure you will be better placed to deal with callenging parents.
Anyway - moving beyond sympathy to a far more important matter...
If you drink that can of beer it will not be because of your mother.
It will be because you thought about it and then chose to do it.
Because YOU chose to think of it as a solution, rather than as a problem.
Drinking at your mother will not solve a thing. Not short term. Not long term.
Getting sober and working on your recovery on the other hand can improve pretty much every aspect of our existance given time.
Come on. You can do this.
BB
Perhaps it is best to have some distance between you and your mother anyway if the relationship isn't so great. Once your sobriety is more solid and you're feeling more secure you will be better placed to deal with callenging parents.
Anyway - moving beyond sympathy to a far more important matter...
If you drink that can of beer it will not be because of your mother.
It will be because you thought about it and then chose to do it.
Because YOU chose to think of it as a solution, rather than as a problem.
Drinking at your mother will not solve a thing. Not short term. Not long term.
Getting sober and working on your recovery on the other hand can improve pretty much every aspect of our existance given time.
Come on. You can do this.
BB
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Remeber those HALTtriggers in general when you get a craving...
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
I find that if there is one rattling me it's just about bearable, but once there's two or more things can get very rattley indeedy!!
So, perhaps Angry you can cope with, but Angry AND Hungry is likely to be much worse.
Take care. I bet there's something better for you work wise round the corner.
BB
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
I find that if there is one rattling me it's just about bearable, but once there's two or more things can get very rattley indeedy!!
So, perhaps Angry you can cope with, but Angry AND Hungry is likely to be much worse.
Take care. I bet there's something better for you work wise round the corner.
BB
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