I'm back and feeling so ashamed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 1,629
I'm back and feeling so ashamed
I had over two years under my belt. And then made that mistake of thinking I could have just a little. It took months but it got totally out of control again. I've almost lost my wife. She's giving me one more chance. I'm so ashamed. I'm such a failure. I feel terrible for all the stress I put on her. I don't know how she will ever trust me again not to drink anymore.
Today is my first day again. I feel so empty inside. I'm sad and depressed that I have done this to my wife. I have never seen her so angry. It is all because of me. I caused all this. She has enough stress in her life, and she doesn't need me to cause more. I feel so alone.
Today is my first day again. I feel so empty inside. I'm sad and depressed that I have done this to my wife. I have never seen her so angry. It is all because of me. I caused all this. She has enough stress in her life, and she doesn't need me to cause more. I feel so alone.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 793
Welcome back. You are lucky that you have this chance.
I know you are feeling ashamed and bad about what has happened, but I reckon you need to move on and make your wife proud of you again.
The thing is, now you know for definite that you can't drink normally, you have a chance to change your life for the better.
I know you are feeling ashamed and bad about what has happened, but I reckon you need to move on and make your wife proud of you again.
The thing is, now you know for definite that you can't drink normally, you have a chance to change your life for the better.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
Well, you're not alone. We've all thrown away time. You are very fortunate to have retained your wife. Obviously she cares. My ex dumped me flat on my face.
Not much left to do other than climb back on the horse and plan for moments of that AV working on you. There's tons of support here.
GL,
Jules
Not much left to do other than climb back on the horse and plan for moments of that AV working on you. There's tons of support here.
GL,
Jules
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Goose, now you will be even more determined & motivated than ever. Sometimes we need further proof that we can't touch a drop - I know I did. The last time I felt like you do I was thoroughly disgusted & exhausted - and ready to say farewell to my drinking years. Joining SR helped me find the courage to change my life - and that was 10 yrs. ago. I have not felt the need to pick up - I know exactly where it would lead. We have to be convinced, and it sounds like you are.
Please be kind & patient with yourself. You can reclaim your life, things can be better than ever.
Please be kind & patient with yourself. You can reclaim your life, things can be better than ever.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
Hevyn,
Your mention of a (not a ) "drop" gave me a visual. A drop of alcohol is synonymous with a tear drop. I need to remember that! To drink is to cry. Ultimately die.
If I were braver I'd get a tattoo of that.
Thank you!!
Jules
Your mention of a (not a ) "drop" gave me a visual. A drop of alcohol is synonymous with a tear drop. I need to remember that! To drink is to cry. Ultimately die.
If I were braver I'd get a tattoo of that.
Thank you!!
Jules
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,643
Empathy and support offered. Learn from the past- do not live in it. I lost my family by drinking-before I did the shame factor was the perfect trigger to keep drinking. You have to stop- for you, otherwise family will go. Support on the ground is vital for me- AA meetings, counselling and a psychologist- plus a doc. to monitor my depression.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 573
Consider it a lessoned learned and quit the self pity party. Time to get back on the horse and go. You're not the first person who has slipped and you won't be the last. Use your experience as motivation to do whatever it was you weren't doing last time to help insure your continued recovery. Wishing you well!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Northeast, USA
Posts: 1,629
Thank you all for your support.
I don't know how my wife will ever stop worrying that I'm going to fail again. I wish there was something I could say besides I'm sorry and I won't anymore. Those words simply don't reflect the depth of my sorrow.
Candie, I'm making the pledge that I won't touch a drop until you do. Let's plan on counting the days together.
I don't know how my wife will ever stop worrying that I'm going to fail again. I wish there was something I could say besides I'm sorry and I won't anymore. Those words simply don't reflect the depth of my sorrow.
Candie, I'm making the pledge that I won't touch a drop until you do. Let's plan on counting the days together.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by Hevyn 
Goose, now you will be even more determined & motivated than ever. Sometimes we need further proof that we can't touch a drop - I know I did. The last time I felt like you do I was thoroughly disgusted & exhausted - and ready to say farewell to my drinking years. Joining SR helped me find the courage to change my life - and that was 10 yrs. ago. I have not felt the need to pick up - I know exactly where it would lead. We have to be convinced, and it sounds like you are.
Please be kind & patient with yourself. You can reclaim your life, things can be better than ever.
Please be kind & patient with yourself. You can reclaim your life, things can be better than ever.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by goose333
I had over two years under my belt. And then made that mistake of thinking I could have just a little. It took months but it got totally out of control again. I've almost lost my wife. She's giving me one more chance. I'm so ashamed. I'm such a failure. I feel terrible for all the stress I put on her. I don't know how she will ever trust me again not to drink anymore.
Today is my first day again. I feel so empty inside. I'm sad and depressed that I have done this to my wife. I have never seen her so angry. It is all because of me. I caused all this. She has enough stress in her life, and she doesn't need me to cause more. I feel so alone.
Today is my first day again. I feel so empty inside. I'm sad and depressed that I have done this to my wife. I have never seen her so angry. It is all because of me. I caused all this. She has enough stress in her life, and she doesn't need me to cause more. I feel so alone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
Hey goose, similar-ish story although i only had 6 months sobriety, hubbie is NOT happy.
Im on day 18 today, as u know, some days r easy & others r horrendous!
We're here for u, u can do it again & show ur wife that ur committing to sobriety again
Im on day 18 today, as u know, some days r easy & others r horrendous!
We're here for u, u can do it again & show ur wife that ur committing to sobriety again
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,378
I'm glad you're back Goose - it takes a lot of guts to post like that.
So now you know your relationship with alcohol stays the same - knowing that can only make this Recovery 2.0 stronger and lasting for you
D
So now you know your relationship with alcohol stays the same - knowing that can only make this Recovery 2.0 stronger and lasting for you
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: preston
Posts: 197
Originally Posted by goose333
Thank you all for your support.
I don't know how my wife will ever stop worrying that I'm going to fail again. I wish there was something I could say besides I'm sorry and I won't anymore. Those words simply don't reflect the depth of my sorrow.
Candie, I'm making the pledge that I won't touch a drop until you do. Let's plan on counting the days together.
I don't know how my wife will ever stop worrying that I'm going to fail again. I wish there was something I could say besides I'm sorry and I won't anymore. Those words simply don't reflect the depth of my sorrow.
Candie, I'm making the pledge that I won't touch a drop until you do. Let's plan on counting the days together.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Actions speak louder than apologies to those we hurt. So now is the time to start fguring out what that action will look like. Your sobriety plan.
What are you going to add into your plan this time that will stop the same thing happening again?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
What are you going to add into your plan this time that will stop the same thing happening again?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...y-plans-1.html
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 19
Gain stregnth from the people here reading these stories are a true motivator to stay on track and focus..
Surely we must not measure ourselves for our faults and mishaps
Its bouncing back stronger and the will to do so which matters
Be strong
Surely we must not measure ourselves for our faults and mishaps
Its bouncing back stronger and the will to do so which matters
Be strong
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