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Day 36 - Feeling sad

Old 08-11-2017, 05:33 AM
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Day 36 - Feeling sad

Hi everyone,

I am now 36 days sober, and it has started off very tough. I am not experiencing any urges or hearing that voice in my head making evil plans to stop by the liqour store later today, but I am feeling profoundly sad in a way that I haven't felt in a long time, which in a way feels kind of good since up until five weeks ago I was destroying any ability to feel emotions with alcohol.

My girlfriend left for graduate school in Colorado this morning (I live in Pennsylvania). I've been with her for almost two years, which is the longest relationship I've ever been in, and I can honestly say she is the first girl I have ever been able to say that I love. We do everything together, and she has been so crucial to my recovery over the last month.

I won't see her until November, which is the longest we've ever been apart. Today has one of those auras hanging over it where it feels like a part of you has been lost or taken away. I just feel really sad and alone. Not that I am, I have plenty of family and friends around, but that's just how I feel right now.

We told each other that as hard as this is it will be good for us because we both have work to do on our own lives. We both need to finish our college studies and build our careers, but I just can't help but feel really sad and empty today.

Again, not experiencing any thoughts about drinking, but am trying to communicate feelings since I intend to stay sober for good this time.

Mike
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Old 08-11-2017, 06:03 AM
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Sorry you are feeling sad! I, like you, am having to deal with feelings and emotions that I squelched like water on fire...I put them out with alcohol!Feeling again is kinda a trip all on its own, but feeling things is what the heart is supposed to do...when I start feeling again, I know my heart is full, not empty! Hope this helps!
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Old 08-11-2017, 01:27 PM
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Are you actively going to any meetings? If there are any AA meetings in your area, you should definitely try to get to one! (especially since she was your support and is now not there)
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Old 08-11-2017, 01:46 PM
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Hi Mike,

Sad is good. Happy is good, Angry is good...and so on. It's NORMAL to feel sad and lonely when a situation like yours occurs. Transition is hard. What's not normal is to try to mask how you feel by using. Allow yourself the indulgence of feeling sad. And then start to fill that time and void in other productive ways! Go to meetings. Delve into the school work and career research. If you have too much time on your hands, can you volunteer somewhere? Do you enjoy sports? Take up running or exercise if you don't already. Endorphins are awesome.

Lonely sucks but it really isn't forever and November isn't that far away. And remember, she's worried about you too! This is a big challenge on your road to recovery for sure. You've already proven you have the strength and inner resources to rise to this challenge.

And remember. It's ok to feel sad. Who doesn't sometimes? Keep experiencing and sharing those feelings. It's a reminder to all of us out there.
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Old 08-11-2017, 01:47 PM
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Sorry you are feeling down, but you are building character. Its good for you. You'll get through this.
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Old 08-11-2017, 02:09 PM
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it's pretty normal to feel sad when an important person leaves. by not drinking, you are actually FEELING your feelings! this just happens to be one of the less fun ones.
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Old 08-11-2017, 04:17 PM
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Thanks everyone. Sadness is now just turning to me worrying constantly. In that every hour that goes by that she doesn't text me telling me exactly where she is I am freaking out. Just me being irrationally worrisome but I guess I am feeling something which is good!
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Old 08-11-2017, 04:30 PM
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I'm sorry mns - it is a wrench when someone you love moves away...but you'll get more used to it and your fears will subside and trust will return - and I bet November will be here before you know it

D
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:05 PM
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How are you, mns?

I have been thinking about you!
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:12 PM
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It’s tough the moments when u are surrounded by support and yet feel so alone, we felt a confidence with the alcohol that led us to not see the work we had to and have too do in order to build a life where when we are alone sober we do not feel alone. I was once told time is a healer that can’t be magnified, it can’t be measured or expressed. It moves at its pace and it takes us along with it and during that time we face chooses we face pains and trials. Time heals time brings happiness. In these days apart u are building yourself up and that’s amazing.
Good for you for sharing and for not keeping those feelings in letting them helps the healing process
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Old 11-14-2017, 09:12 PM
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Thank you for posting. As others have said youre feeling your feelings. N i will echo its okay to not be okay. You dont have to change a thing. Just hold on.
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Old 11-20-2017, 09:16 PM
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Thinking of you, mns, and wishing you a very Happy Thanksgiving.
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Old 12-11-2017, 07:58 AM
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Really miss you, mns.
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Old 12-11-2017, 03:58 PM
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I hope you're doing ok too mns - how was your November?

D
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Old 01-12-2018, 06:45 PM
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Hope that 2018 is a very good year for you, mns.

Would love to hear from you.
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Old 02-03-2018, 08:27 PM
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Thinking of you, mns.

Hope all is well.
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