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I'm scared for my health...

Old 08-10-2017, 12:44 PM
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I'm scared for my health...

Hi guys. I'm coming here because I'm worried, embarrassed, and can't even talk about this with my best friend...
Even worse, I'm pathetic, because I'm not a newcomer. I was here last year, then left, because I thought I could handle my drinking (don't we all at some point?), in denial, and wanted to 'have a good time'... I took off to Australia last August and just came home a few days ago. I didn't get myself into any 'trouble' during the year, but my bad relationship with alcohol continued. I would drink a bottle of wine by myself at home, no problem, and because I never blacked out or was sick I told myself there was no harm. Well, now I think I've found it, and I'm terrified.

A few months ago I noticed that when I drank a lot, I would have a hard time sleeping the next night. This would be because my tongue would have a small tremor, and would keep twitching when I was relaxing into sleep. I notice the day after I drink a lot, my fingers also shake a bit. If I don't drink for a few days, these issues go away, but they seem to get worse the next time I have more than a few drinks. I looked it up online and I think it's called essential tremor - reading up any of this stuff scares the crap out of me. I don't know if I should make a doctor's appointment and speak to someone? Even my digestive system has been whacked out for months, and I don't know if it's what I'm eating, or related to alcohol... I just feel so pathetic, and embarrassed to admit this to anyone close to me, let alone a doctor. I'm worried about my health and I need to find the strength to stop before it ruins or ends my life permanently, and I'm only 28... Looking for any words of encouragement...
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Old 08-10-2017, 12:56 PM
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Knowledge is power, my friend.

Get thee to a doctor.

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Old 08-10-2017, 12:57 PM
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I don't know if I should make a doctor's appointment and speak to someone?

yes, please do. don't be embarrassed to share with the doctor, trust me, they have heard everything. they can't help you get well unless you tell them what is wrong. no shame, you're just sick, and sick people go to the doctor.

also yes on not drinking. that is pretty essential.

i totally admire/envy people who just up and go off to some far off land. that's pretty cool.
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Old 08-10-2017, 01:56 PM
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Yes, see your physician. Tell him/her everything.
You will be much relieved.
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Old 08-10-2017, 01:59 PM
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Originally Posted by soulpower89 View Post
If I don't drink for a few days, these issues go away...
Seems like you found a solution. Are you prepared to apply that solution--sobriety--for good?
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Old 08-10-2017, 02:13 PM
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I can at least help assuage your worries and tell you from experience that what you have is NOT essential tremor. Essential tremor is a chronic neurological impairment that has nothing to do with alcohol. I know because I've had it my entire life, and it doesn't just stop and start like that. The shakes from that are noticeably different from those due to alcohol withdrawal, and drinking actually helps calm them down a little.

I'm about your age, and the tremors/insomnia sound like par for the course when quitting after drinking that much nightly. I know my digestive system was in disarray for YEARS; I pretty much accepted constant diarrhea as my normal state, but it's gotten much better since quitting. It doesn't sound to me like there's anything permanently damaged, but it's always best to see a doctor and get a professional medical opinion.
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Old 08-10-2017, 02:49 PM
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More than likely you are starting to experience kindling that's turning into withdrawal symptoms. The longer you drink, the more severe they get.
A docs appointment for sure would be a solid idea to make sure everything is ok with you health wise, and they will also be able to point you in the direction of an addiction therapist if you go that route, possibly medication, or to AA.
You still have your whole life ahead of you, and it's best to quit for good now, before you end up neck deep in addiction with violent withdrawals and hospital visits becoming your 2nd home,...
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