Dad died today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 2
Dad died today
Hi all
Today my Dad passed away, alone in a single bedroom flat. He had cancer and liver disease. He lived his final years alone and drunk, after he pushed everyone away one-by-one, sinking ever deeper.
From the time his mother died around teenage years, he suffered with social anxiety. Crowds, public speaking, dates, would all give him panic attacks. So he drank to numb the pain. He became dependent on it. Lost jobs. Had 2 heart attacks. Got worse and worse - completely lost his empathy.
Eventually he turned into such a toxic nasty person that my mum just had to leave with me. I was 14 (25 now). The snide comments, the put-downs, the anger, bitterness, resentment, all kept building. He would sit watching TV all day drinking, while my mum worked 2 jobs and did college classes at night in order to keep us alive. I used to hate bringing friends round, because the atmosphere was just so awful, I didn't want anyone to see what kind of environment I lived in.
I could not stay in touch with him much after the split. If I got too close, I would get bombarded with calls or emails about how I was a **** selfish son, always ignoring him. He said unforgivable things to many in the family, alienating himself totally.
I'm not mad anymore. His life was his own punishment. But I still remember how he was before the addiction took hold, that's the sad part. I remember the times when he was sober. He was witty, clever, creative, had so much potential. And this isn't just some rose-tinted glasses ****, he really had it in him to live a successful and happy life. High IQ, industrious, good looking, and capable of love. In the end it was a tragic waste of life.
Nobody is ever going to tell his story now, so I will. Let it be a story of how not to live. I know there are a million stories just like this, and worst of all there are yet to be millions more.
To anyone out there recovering: Thanks for trying to turn it around. Thanks for trying to become alive again, and to not inflict more needless suffering on others.
Today my Dad passed away, alone in a single bedroom flat. He had cancer and liver disease. He lived his final years alone and drunk, after he pushed everyone away one-by-one, sinking ever deeper.
From the time his mother died around teenage years, he suffered with social anxiety. Crowds, public speaking, dates, would all give him panic attacks. So he drank to numb the pain. He became dependent on it. Lost jobs. Had 2 heart attacks. Got worse and worse - completely lost his empathy.
Eventually he turned into such a toxic nasty person that my mum just had to leave with me. I was 14 (25 now). The snide comments, the put-downs, the anger, bitterness, resentment, all kept building. He would sit watching TV all day drinking, while my mum worked 2 jobs and did college classes at night in order to keep us alive. I used to hate bringing friends round, because the atmosphere was just so awful, I didn't want anyone to see what kind of environment I lived in.
I could not stay in touch with him much after the split. If I got too close, I would get bombarded with calls or emails about how I was a **** selfish son, always ignoring him. He said unforgivable things to many in the family, alienating himself totally.
I'm not mad anymore. His life was his own punishment. But I still remember how he was before the addiction took hold, that's the sad part. I remember the times when he was sober. He was witty, clever, creative, had so much potential. And this isn't just some rose-tinted glasses ****, he really had it in him to live a successful and happy life. High IQ, industrious, good looking, and capable of love. In the end it was a tragic waste of life.
Nobody is ever going to tell his story now, so I will. Let it be a story of how not to live. I know there are a million stories just like this, and worst of all there are yet to be millions more.
To anyone out there recovering: Thanks for trying to turn it around. Thanks for trying to become alive again, and to not inflict more needless suffering on others.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
WindCD.......I am so sorry for your loss. I send my condolences to you and your family.....
Your Dad is at peace.
I am glad that you can remember the good and wonderful things about him. There was love.....and that is important....
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 61
So sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace and may you find peace as well.
So heartbreaking. I am glad your mother was able to take you away from the environment. I am moving toward the same and the biggest tragedy is the loss of potential. It truly is a terrible disease. Hugs to you.
So heartbreaking. I am glad your mother was able to take you away from the environment. I am moving toward the same and the biggest tragedy is the loss of potential. It truly is a terrible disease. Hugs to you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
WindCD ... oh Dear Heart .. I am so sorry.. like you I remember a better Pop.. before the drink got him...... mine was a Barber and a DI Marine... but my Pop that played in the backyard.. would do something so silly and look at me and say Now you are in Trouble.. and the little girl would quip back What do you mean me... You did it....
Tell us of your Dad.. and remember the times of light... prayers Dear Heart so many many Prayers.. the Good Dad is now with you when you need him the most.. cross my heart... promise ... Love ardy..
Tell us of your Dad.. and remember the times of light... prayers Dear Heart so many many Prayers.. the Good Dad is now with you when you need him the most.. cross my heart... promise ... Love ardy..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my Dad to the disease of alcoholism. My Mom never left him but he was so dependent on alcohol he couldn't hold a job for the last 10 years of his life. He died in the hospital from liver and heart failure. My prayers go out to you and your dear Mother for peace during this sad time.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
