emme99

I'm trying to finish before midnight, about 6 minutes to go. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. Even now, I want so much for tomorrow to be day one, but I don't know if I'll make it. Life has been really hard lately, and I'm drinking to try to make it better, or at least tolerable, but I know drinking isn't helping anything. It's just so hard to stop. So I am really going to try for day one tomorrow. I know I keep letting people down, especially myself. Grateful to SR and everyone here for not giving up on me

Andagain

I've had about a million last drinks and they never taste as good as I want them to. I recommend pouring it away, much more satisfying =)

Best of luck for tomorrow, the first day is the hardest, when you get through it, you'll know you can make it through everyday/

Delizadee

You'll make it when you're ready to and decide that this is it, Emme.
You can do it and you will. Have faith in yourself and draw the line in the sand.

Dee74

Hi Emme

I really hope this is your last drink, can I hope you can think of enough things to do differently this time to ensure a different outcome.

The more we choose to we drink the harder it is to quit.

What are your triggers? Despair, fear, needing to relax, trying to cope with life? something else?

Maybe it's time to start a list of other things you could do when that urge to drink comes upon you - it could be as basic as posting here first, or going to AA or some other group?

PhoenixJ

Emme- when I thought alcohol was my only out- it was because I felt despair, hopeless and helpless. The only way I could get myself out of that place was with professional support. A doctor to monitor my major depression- with meds, a psychologist and using CBT to learn how to grow emotionally and a counselor for dealing with the addiction to alcohol. Not only for support but 'to do what I was told'.. They are 3 different issues for me- not one huge mess. I also go to AA meetings and SMART. Support and empathy to you.

aasharon90

There are many here in SR that have
started their own Thread to help them
be accountable for their own recovery
and sobriety.

The use it to check in every single day
staying connected, asking for help, suggestions,
in all kinds of life situations that they need
help getting thru.

Doing this lets you know that there isn't
a thing in this world you have to go thru
or figure out by urself as long as you got
your SR support, fellowship, friends, folks
that understand, relate, care and love you
every step of the way.

It's when you let go of your recovery
life line and support that we feel alone
and fall back into old patterns, behaviors
which result in reaching for that poison
that only makes life and could and would
kill us.

We won't leave any of our fellow members
on the side if you are willing, keeping an
open mind, honest and most of all teachable
in learning how to remain sober a day at a
time.

One Step @ a time were here for you.

emme99

Thank you everyone for the advice & suggestions

Thank you aasharon, I've thought about this and I'm still considering it, or maybe joining another class, but I'm sort of thinking this might be the better option for me because I've failed so many classes.

Thanks Phoenix. My plan is to start going to the Monday night SMART meetings again. I really like them when I go consistently but I haven't been for a while and now I'm nervous to go back. I am hoping next year our insurance will be better and I can start therapy again because I think it did help.

Thanks Dee, needing to relax and trying to cope are the two main ones, and I suppose there is probably some fear and despair mixed in as well. I worry about everything, and drinking is what I have used to cope and be able to relax. I agree I need to work on a list of things I can do instead of drinking.

Thank you Andagain and Delizadee

CreativeThinker

Drinking is what caused me to worry, feel anxious and depressed. Once I removed the alcohol and began working with a therapist, things changed. One of the things I like to do to feel good is exercise. Try it, you might like it.

emme99

I used to walk between 4.5-5 miles almost every night and it did help with stress. I can't walk that much now, but I should start again. Thank You

Dee74

I'm glad to see you posting Emme - yeah make a plan - and follow through with it - good intentions are great - but action really is the key

Andagain

I do the same, I read that walking a few miles each day is a kind of mindfulness and can massively improve your mental health.

least

I look forward to my daily dog walks to 'ground' me and refresh me. I always feel better after I've walked my dogs.

Delilah1

Hi Emme,

It's great to see you on here. Lots of great advice above. Posting here, Walking, yoga, and mindfulness have been big parts of my recovery.

What has worked for you in the past?

joandmelandhan

Hi Emme. Sorry darling I've only just spotted your thread. Just wanted to echo what everyone else has advised. You can most definitely do this. You have a lovely kind outlook on life but you know drinking away your stresses only hurts one person and thats you dear Emme. I hope you got your precious day 1. Stay in touch and lean on SR it really does help ❤❤❤

Caramel

Always here for you, emme

emme99

Thanks Caramel, Jo, Delilah, Least, Andagain, Dee & everyone

When I had the most success, I was in a class and posting in the class daily or close to daily. I'm thinking of joining the August class I'm just not sure yet. I am also trying meditation again. I kind of was practicing it a few months ago but stopped. I liked it though and think it helped. Thanks

Dee74

Whats there to think about Emme - do everything you can to make this time a lasting success, yeah?

Don't be fooled - 'thinking about' is not action
D

joandmelandhan

How are you today Emme? ❤❤❤

Opivotal

((emme))

bcsimpleguy

such fantastic support here. soon I will start my own thread. Hopefully you are doing ok.