15 days, feeling amazing, a big day for me too.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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15 days, feeling amazing, a big day for me too.
Today i have my grandad over for the day, he is, i suppose an alcoholic by textbook in the amount of units per week that he drinks. Although i have never ever seen him actually drunk! He always says to be merry and a still a gentleman is far enough lol. Usually my mum takes care of him, but they are away and he is a widow and lonely, and my other family are busy at work, so i invited him over for lunch.
i know i can handle it, my mind is in the right place and he would never pressure me to drink. He will sip away at him lunchtime 2 pints and a 'tot' of whiskey and water whilst we chat, and then we will eat. This is a ritual he has done for 15 years or so, and repeats the same at night before dinner. Never more alcohol, never less. Usually i would have a couple of glasses of wine with him as we chatted, just unfortunately once i left, i would continue on the binge. But hey, past is the past. Let that memory go.
im more close to him that my own father, so i cannot, not have him over, or visit him. Ive got some nice flavoured sparkling water in the fridge, so i will have that, i know he will ask why im not drinking, and im ready to be honest with him. Kinda a big day for me in letting somebody know for real what is going on with me, last time i tried to tell my sister in law i was having problems and concerns her response was ' get a grip love, your making it sound like youre in an AA meeting'. Supportive eh?!
My resolve to not drink is strong, i will not drink today, no matter what, but i know i cant stop other people being around me drinking, alcohol will always be there in most social situations i am in. I have to change my thinking and mental response to wanting to 'join in'.
i know i can handle it, my mind is in the right place and he would never pressure me to drink. He will sip away at him lunchtime 2 pints and a 'tot' of whiskey and water whilst we chat, and then we will eat. This is a ritual he has done for 15 years or so, and repeats the same at night before dinner. Never more alcohol, never less. Usually i would have a couple of glasses of wine with him as we chatted, just unfortunately once i left, i would continue on the binge. But hey, past is the past. Let that memory go.
im more close to him that my own father, so i cannot, not have him over, or visit him. Ive got some nice flavoured sparkling water in the fridge, so i will have that, i know he will ask why im not drinking, and im ready to be honest with him. Kinda a big day for me in letting somebody know for real what is going on with me, last time i tried to tell my sister in law i was having problems and concerns her response was ' get a grip love, your making it sound like youre in an AA meeting'. Supportive eh?!
My resolve to not drink is strong, i will not drink today, no matter what, but i know i cant stop other people being around me drinking, alcohol will always be there in most social situations i am in. I have to change my thinking and mental response to wanting to 'join in'.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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well, it went really well. He was really understanding, it was such a relief to speak to someone and open up. He asked if he should pour his drinks away as he wants to help and support me, but I said no. That he was fine, it was kind of him to ask, but I will always have people drinking around me, because that's life, it will happen. And I need to be ok with that, and I genuinely was ok not drinking. Ive asked him at the moment to keep this between us, until I am ready to make it known to my family what has been going on these last few years. I don't see them often and rarely speak, as we aren't close, so nobody really knows more than I like a drink now and then.
I'm amazed how I didn't even think that I wanted a drink. Apart from being pregnant I have never not sat and drank with him. It didn't even seem strange. A really big obstacle overcome today, and puts yet another solid nail in the coffin of my drinking past. Time to celebrate with some pizza and icecream!
I'm amazed how I didn't even think that I wanted a drink. Apart from being pregnant I have never not sat and drank with him. It didn't even seem strange. A really big obstacle overcome today, and puts yet another solid nail in the coffin of my drinking past. Time to celebrate with some pizza and icecream!
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
So glad for you, noturningback! I was so happy to read your update after the lunch. I'm not surprised.. for some reason I had a feeling he'd understand. How sweet that he was willing to do whatever helped you.
I think older people sometimes "get it" more.. they appreciate life's changing times. He sounds like a lovely man and what a blessing to have that closeness with him.
Congrats on getting through what you thought might be a tough situation.
Another milestone reached!
You sound determined and calm and that's the way to be.
Hugs to you!
I think older people sometimes "get it" more.. they appreciate life's changing times. He sounds like a lovely man and what a blessing to have that closeness with him.
Congrats on getting through what you thought might be a tough situation.
Another milestone reached!
You sound determined and calm and that's the way to be.
Hugs to you!
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: North Georgia Mountains
Posts: 588
Great story, congrats on 15 days!
Grandparents are special. I still remember one time almost 40 years ago that I got drunk and ruined a family party. To this day, I can still see the look of disappointment in my grandmother's eyes.
Grandparents are special. I still remember one time almost 40 years ago that I got drunk and ruined a family party. To this day, I can still see the look of disappointment in my grandmother's eyes.
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