15 days, feeling amazing, a big day for me too.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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15 days, feeling amazing, a big day for me too.
Today i have my grandad over for the day, he is, i suppose an alcoholic by textbook in the amount of units per week that he drinks. Although i have never ever seen him actually drunk! He always says to be merry and a still a gentleman is far enough lol. Usually my mum takes care of him, but they are away and he is a widow and lonely, and my other family are busy at work, so i invited him over for lunch.
i know i can handle it, my mind is in the right place and he would never pressure me to drink. He will sip away at him lunchtime 2 pints and a 'tot' of whiskey and water whilst we chat, and then we will eat. This is a ritual he has done for 15 years or so, and repeats the same at night before dinner. Never more alcohol, never less. Usually i would have a couple of glasses of wine with him as we chatted, just unfortunately once i left, i would continue on the binge. But hey, past is the past. Let that memory go.
im more close to him that my own father, so i cannot, not have him over, or visit him. Ive got some nice flavoured sparkling water in the fridge, so i will have that, i know he will ask why im not drinking, and im ready to be honest with him. Kinda a big day for me in letting somebody know for real what is going on with me, last time i tried to tell my sister in law i was having problems and concerns her response was ' get a grip love, your making it sound like youre in an AA meeting'. Supportive eh?!
My resolve to not drink is strong, i will not drink today, no matter what, but i know i cant stop other people being around me drinking, alcohol will always be there in most social situations i am in. I have to change my thinking and mental response to wanting to 'join in'.
i know i can handle it, my mind is in the right place and he would never pressure me to drink. He will sip away at him lunchtime 2 pints and a 'tot' of whiskey and water whilst we chat, and then we will eat. This is a ritual he has done for 15 years or so, and repeats the same at night before dinner. Never more alcohol, never less. Usually i would have a couple of glasses of wine with him as we chatted, just unfortunately once i left, i would continue on the binge. But hey, past is the past. Let that memory go.
im more close to him that my own father, so i cannot, not have him over, or visit him. Ive got some nice flavoured sparkling water in the fridge, so i will have that, i know he will ask why im not drinking, and im ready to be honest with him. Kinda a big day for me in letting somebody know for real what is going on with me, last time i tried to tell my sister in law i was having problems and concerns her response was ' get a grip love, your making it sound like youre in an AA meeting'. Supportive eh?!
My resolve to not drink is strong, i will not drink today, no matter what, but i know i cant stop other people being around me drinking, alcohol will always be there in most social situations i am in. I have to change my thinking and mental response to wanting to 'join in'.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 115
well, it went really well. He was really understanding, it was such a relief to speak to someone and open up. He asked if he should pour his drinks away as he wants to help and support me, but I said no. That he was fine, it was kind of him to ask, but I will always have people drinking around me, because that's life, it will happen. And I need to be ok with that, and I genuinely was ok not drinking. Ive asked him at the moment to keep this between us, until I am ready to make it known to my family what has been going on these last few years. I don't see them often and rarely speak, as we aren't close, so nobody really knows more than I like a drink now and then.
I'm amazed how I didn't even think that I wanted a drink. Apart from being pregnant I have never not sat and drank with him. It didn't even seem strange. A really big obstacle overcome today, and puts yet another solid nail in the coffin of my drinking past. Time to celebrate with some pizza and icecream!
I'm amazed how I didn't even think that I wanted a drink. Apart from being pregnant I have never not sat and drank with him. It didn't even seem strange. A really big obstacle overcome today, and puts yet another solid nail in the coffin of my drinking past. Time to celebrate with some pizza and icecream!
So glad for you, noturningback! I was so happy to read your update after the lunch. I'm not surprised.. for some reason I had a feeling he'd understand. How sweet that he was willing to do whatever helped you.
I think older people sometimes "get it" more.. they appreciate life's changing times. He sounds like a lovely man and what a blessing to have that closeness with him.
Congrats on getting through what you thought might be a tough situation.
Another milestone reached!
You sound determined and calm and that's the way to be.
Hugs to you!
I think older people sometimes "get it" more.. they appreciate life's changing times. He sounds like a lovely man and what a blessing to have that closeness with him.
Congrats on getting through what you thought might be a tough situation.
Another milestone reached!
You sound determined and calm and that's the way to be.
Hugs to you!
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: North Georgia Mountains
Posts: 588
Great story, congrats on 15 days!
Grandparents are special. I still remember one time almost 40 years ago that I got drunk and ruined a family party. To this day, I can still see the look of disappointment in my grandmother's eyes.
Grandparents are special. I still remember one time almost 40 years ago that I got drunk and ruined a family party. To this day, I can still see the look of disappointment in my grandmother's eyes.
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