Chilledice

So I just had my assessment from one of the mental health team from the local psychiatric hospital, she was very understanding and didn't seem too shocked by my thoughts. She did however say it's down to me if I get well or not but in all honesty I don't have any strength left inside of me now to apply cbt techniques to the thoughts.

I can't escape the thoughts and the thoughts bring panic attacks so im constantly trying to fight off a panic attack.

Im utterly exhausted and feel like a dead man, I feel done with it all!

BixBees505

(((((Chilledice)))))

Chilledice

Just exhausted with it all.

Mummyto2

I know it sucks sometimes, really SUCKS but dont give up keep fighting

nez

Don't try to escape the the thoughts, they are only thoughts.

"Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don't serve them tea." -- Shunryu Suzuki

ScottFromWI

Identifying the problem is part of the solution in itself Chilled..kudos for following through on that. And just like with addiction, sometimes the answer we find is not exactly the answer we wanted.

The silver lining lining is that even though it's up to you do do the work to get better - that means that you have what it takes right there inside you already. We all do actually, and while it's definitely not easy - it's possible. And believe me - it is well worth it in the long run.

MidnightRider

Hey ICE .. We are here for you.

aasharon90

When I'm exhausted, tired, drained or just
don't feel well, I usually cant wait to go to sleep
and let the day end. I also know tomorrow
will be a new day where I will be well rested,
fresh and ready to face it with strength and
courage.

You can too.

Chilledice

I just had something to eat so feel a lil better, I have to tell myself THEY ARE JUST THOUGHTS!!

I must come across as a real cry baby at times, I just get despondent very quickly is all.

Thank you all for putting up with me and giving your advice it's truly appreciated.

nez

Not at all, it is just one of them damn thoughts again. Don't sweat it. :~)

tomsteve

i call BS on ya not having the strength. complete,100% BS.
i could be wrong, but why your saying that is you want the easiest softest way without discomort to get well maybe even a magical pill that will make it all better. mayeb you want it and you want it now.
unfortunatly, that isnt how getting mentally and emotionally heathy doesnt work that way.
why do i think this?
you had the strength to go and get an assessment. you had the strength to post here for as long as youve had. youve listened to what was typed and even implemented some of the suggestions. you had the strength to not drink all this time.
and now that you were told its up to you, you suddenly dont have the strength.
there could even be the possibility that since she understood and didnt seemed shocked by your thoughts- youre not the first one shes seen in your condition and has seen many people learn coping skills- that you felt you were unique and would be given a pill that would solve it?maybe not as bad off as you want to be or think?

youre at a crossroads today,chilled- do you start the fight for YOU now or not?

"I can't escape the thoughts and the thoughts bring panic attacks so im constantly trying to fight off a panic attack.'
yes, you can IF you start working to escape them!

seems there was a group of POW's back in WWII that made a great escape. seems it started one day and took a while. but eventually they escaped.
just took getting into action one day.

Chilledice

Maybe not as bad off as I want to be? Ohh trust me I don't WANT to be bad off!

I appreciate your words of encouragement I do, just feeling overwhelmed at the moment! I was actually hoping/dreaming of a magic pill although I know that's not reality, I just need to take a step outside of myself and breathe!

AnvilheadII

if you can post here, you can apply your cbt techniques too.

perhaps it's really hitting home to you that there IS no magic pill - that you WILL need to do the hard work. you and nobody else. that's how ALL of us get sober and stay sober. one day at a time, trudging the road to happy destiny.

so how about share one negative thought and one cbt response.

Chilledice

Hmm I'm somewhat finding not drinking rather easy, I was assessed for OCD :-)

AnvilheadII

same deal....

Chilledice

I give you all FULL permission to laugh as I share some of my weird thoughts, need some humour.

I have what is commonly known as PURE O intrusive thoughts, they change and vary from time to time so here goes.

I feel trapped in time, its now 2017 and I get anxious because I can't change it to 2018 OR even go BACKWARDS!

This spills over into birthdays, my mothers birthday actually, I had a panic attack when I realised that her birthday is four months away and I cant fast forward it!

TERRIFIED of friday the 13th

Why cant I control how the solar system works? That one gives me anxiety too.

And plenty of other stuff......it gets weirder!

I am in no way bullsh!ttin you guys or exaggerating in any way shape or form!

Small glimpse into my mind lol

AnvilheadII

did they give you any specific techniques or actions to counterbalance those thoughts? so that when one of these thoughts comes up, you have some tools to help intervene on the mental chatter? things to help you stay grounded?

Chilledice

She has set up a meeting with a cbt therapist or ocd person something like that, also I am paying privately and on the 17th I have a skype session with an expert.

She told me they are just thoughts and I have to learn not to react to them etc, basic stuff really.

AnvilheadII

well that's "helpful"!?

they are JUST thoughts, but they are your thoughts in your head and i hope you find some ways to be ok with it all!!! i don't think it's about laughing at your thoughts, or even categorizing them as weird - but more about learning ways to quiet them down and stay in touch with the here and now.

Chilledice

So errrm...you get any weird thoughts? Im dying to know im not alone here lol