MNVikes4life

Hey All,

I decided I'm going to post daily update. Hope I don't get too annoying here I think it is more or less for me to get out my feelings.

Anyhow day 2 is here, Monday night I drank very, very hard to the point of ending up hospitalized as some of you already know.

In the past couple years I started getting 2 day hangovers. Well here we are on day 2. Day one was always more of physical sickness with a pounding headache.

I'd argue that my 2nd day is worse usually. Today I am feeling a little lost, light headed, anxiety ridden, self pity, and a desire to do nothing (expect maybe eat some shameful food). I am not looking for pity here, but I want to write about how I feel to get it out there.

Right now is where I would usually mix up a drink or crack open a beer to "feel better. Well not today. Today I'm going to rise up over alcohol and say no.

To anyone that reads this, good work on being here and making an effort to stay sober

Mummyto2

Good for you keep it up, things will get better good luck

Anna

Good work on Day 2, and its a good idea to write out your feelings. Know for sure that things will get better.

Dee74

We encourage updates MNVikes4life - congrats on day 2

D

Jezzi

We're basically on the same sobriety timeline! My last binge was Sunday night. Kudos to you for choosing not to give in to the discomfort. Keep at it, we got this!

MNVikes4life

Thank you Mummy, Anna, and Dee

Jezzi- Let's fight and win this together. It's cool to have someone on the same timeline as me basically

SimplyFree

Glad you're here. Stay close post, read, learn, and stay sober.

MNVikes4life

Thank you for the support SimplyFree

incognition

All right, keep at it! Depending on how much your system's used to the alcohol, it may indeed get worse before it gets better as your body comes to the realization that you're not going to feed it its favorite poison any more.

It'll start to get better eventually. Just hang in there

MNVikes4life

Thank you incognition, your support is really appreciated. I hope you are feeling better today, I'm excited to hear how you progress in the coming weeks/months

AwkwardKitty

My hangovers were the same, the day after the binge would be the physical headachey type then the following days I would be consumed by guilt, self hatred, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Then I'd hide in the booze to make it go away, and so on, the vicious cycle was maintained.

It takes a lot to face up and not run away. As they say, the only way out is through. Wishing you well and I look forward to sharing your recovery journey (day 7 for me!)

MNVikes4life

AwkwardKitty-I know, I'm hoping it doesn't drag into day 3, but it very possibly could. The cycle was so terrible looking back...even though sometimes I would just need a couple to feel ok. Like how wasn't that a warning sign that I had a problem? Who just needs to have a few drinks to feel normal! I guess most of us here Let's kick alcohol's butt and stay sober

AwkwardKitty

Just remember when you are tempted to drink that alcohol doesnt stop the feeling, it causes it. The more you turn to booze to hide from the scary stuff, the stronger thr scary stuff gets. You are winning at this x

AwkwardKitty

Also remember, even if it does go on for days, this is the LAST time you ever need to go through this. If you drink then there will be at least one more time you need to go through that hellish hangover. With each awful thought, feeling and craving, remind yourself that this is the last time. Enjoy starving it of its 'fuel' x

Hevyn

MN - you could never be annoying. We've all been through this & we understand what you're going through.

Day 2 is rough - but you sound determined. I always caved to 'feel better' too - and it prolonged my recovery for many years. At one point I never even had hangovers because there was so much alcohol still in my system - I'd just top it off. I'm so glad I don't live that way anymore - can't believe I ever justified it. Glad you are here!

MNVikes4life

You are so right, I have had moments where I'm slamming a beer or a drink to feel better. I remember times where I would go into another room and slam a beer or a drink and try to replace it before anyone else would see so I could feel more normal on days when I was hungover and I knew deep down that I was only going to feel worse the next day, but I just didn't care. It's amazing once you realize or admit that you have an issue that you can recognize all the destructive things I was doing to myself.

AwkwardKitty

Well actually you should give yourself a lot of credit for that because not everyone is able to recognise their problem behaviours and look at them objectively, even long time sober people. Its great you are reflecting and self-analysing

incognition

And not only have you recognized the issue, you're actively doing something about it! I knew I was a problem drinker for years before I actually made the decision to quit. Knowing is only half the battle, but you've also actively taken the step to fix the problem. You're doing great!

MNVikes4life

Thank you both! The support here is amazing. So happy I found this by a google search. I think I honestly googled "I'm an alcoholic" and found this site.

MNVikes4life

Hevyn- Sounds very similar, I also would sometimes skip the hangover stage and go straight to drinking, especially on Saturday mornings because I felt like it was normal or ok to go to the bar to get breakfast and get a bloody then a beer then another beer and another and another....lol you get the point, but many those weekend binges make for a really ****** Monday