the type of day that i would normally drive me to wine!!
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Join Date: Jul 2017
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the type of day that i would normally drive me to wine!!
its really been a tough day in the end!! my kitten got spayed yesterday and its seems she had some kind of bad reaction to the anaesthetic. So today has been very worrying, checking on her constantly, running her to the vets back and forth etc. My kids were upset, I was worried sick. My to do list got scrapped and thrown out the window, so I have a pile, the kids are having cereal for dinner and its normally the type of day I would buy wine and think 'screw it'. But today I didn't, I didn't even consider it, but I thought 'this would be the time I would'. I recognised the signs and links to the behaviour and thought process. But instead I have a bag of popcorn and a hot choc. time to unwind!!
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That is great progress! Way to go.
The awareness is more than half the battle.
Those kinds of days happen to all of us. Stress is just part of life, and as you know alcohol will only make it worse, and hurt you, in the long run.
Something that helps me, especially, is to recognize and immeditely reject those damaging cliches about wine and stress (often directed at women). "Mommy needs a drink!" "It's wine o'clock." "What a day.. I need wine."
They drive me crazy. I hate them. It has normalized dangerous, damaging behavior. It makes me bristle when friends say it, so casually. Now the second a thought like that hits my mind, it's much easier to recognize it for the lie that it is.
Good for you for recognizing it and pushing through!
The awareness is more than half the battle.
Those kinds of days happen to all of us. Stress is just part of life, and as you know alcohol will only make it worse, and hurt you, in the long run.
Something that helps me, especially, is to recognize and immeditely reject those damaging cliches about wine and stress (often directed at women). "Mommy needs a drink!" "It's wine o'clock." "What a day.. I need wine."
They drive me crazy. I hate them. It has normalized dangerous, damaging behavior. It makes me bristle when friends say it, so casually. Now the second a thought like that hits my mind, it's much easier to recognize it for the lie that it is.
Good for you for recognizing it and pushing through!
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by tealily 
Something that helps me, especially, is to recognize and immeditely reject those damaging cliches about wine and stress (often directed at women). "Mommy needs a drink!" "It's wine o'clock." "What a day.. I need wine."[/B]
[/B][/B]They drive me crazy. I hate them. It has normalized dangerous, damaging behavior. It makes me bristle when friends say it, so casually. Now the second a thought like that hits my mind, it's much easier to recognize it for the lie that it is.
Good for you for recognizing it and pushing through!
I have noticed this too and it really winds me up now!! I used that as a forgiveable and permissible excuse to drink when kids went to bed. Then when the husband came in and asked if I had been drinking I would reply slurring and joking 'have you met our children?' Like that was acceptable.... That is not normal, and its becoming normalised, everyday I see at least one post on facebook involving parenting and wine, or a picture of someones drink in the evening.
The whole phenomenon of it became out of control for me when meeting for lunch dates with all my mum friends and there would be wine, and we would laugh, topping each others glasses up and ordering another bottle 'we need this before we go pick the kids up'. Seriously messed up, and so glad I see it for what it is now. My eyes have been very much opened to the horror of where it can lead.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
I hear you! It's depressingly common.
Among my mom acquaintances, there is a drinking lunch on the first day of the younger kids' school, as in, woo hoo, our kids are out of our hands, and we can drink, midday! On a weekday!
As a mom of older kids now, I see how it confuses and hurts them. They see it. If they are too young to "get it" now, it'll happen sooner than drinking parents realize.
I didn't drink when my kids were younger.. for me it was when they got a bit older, and could see it for sure.
I was buying wine with my young teen daughter with me, every single time I was in the grocery store. She knew what I was doing. I would arrange for her to have a ride home from someone else when she was out late at night, so I wouldn't have to go out to get her (because I couldn't). She knew what I was doing. At the end, I was hiding plastic cups of wine behind things. She knew what I was doing. One night she called me out on it, tears in her eyes.
Believe me, you don't want that. Especially when you are trying to talk to your growing kids about the dangers of drinking and not being a hypocrite. Many, many times they would come home to tell me about their nights, I'd talk to them, and not remember what they said in the morning. They were so disappointed in me.
So good for you to be stopping now.
It's such a relief to not be ashamed of myself anymore.
p.s. How's your kitty??
Among my mom acquaintances, there is a drinking lunch on the first day of the younger kids' school, as in, woo hoo, our kids are out of our hands, and we can drink, midday! On a weekday!
As a mom of older kids now, I see how it confuses and hurts them. They see it. If they are too young to "get it" now, it'll happen sooner than drinking parents realize.
I didn't drink when my kids were younger.. for me it was when they got a bit older, and could see it for sure.
I was buying wine with my young teen daughter with me, every single time I was in the grocery store. She knew what I was doing. I would arrange for her to have a ride home from someone else when she was out late at night, so I wouldn't have to go out to get her (because I couldn't). She knew what I was doing. At the end, I was hiding plastic cups of wine behind things. She knew what I was doing. One night she called me out on it, tears in her eyes.
Believe me, you don't want that. Especially when you are trying to talk to your growing kids about the dangers of drinking and not being a hypocrite. Many, many times they would come home to tell me about their nights, I'd talk to them, and not remember what they said in the morning. They were so disappointed in me.
So good for you to be stopping now.
It's such a relief to not be ashamed of myself anymore.
p.s. How's your kitty??
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