Flinders39

Hi everyone:-)
Today marks 13 days since my last drink. Since then it's been a roller coaster of emotions. Mainly I've been irritated/ feeling as though I've been "missing out." At the same time I've woken up every morning feeling fresh, focused and not regretting the night before etc..

I was planning to go out to dinner with my husband tonight, but of course that means the temptation to drink. I woke up in a sweat last night because I had a dream I got drunk (talk about stressing over something as simple as going out to eat.)
So, I've decided it's not worth it - at least this early on.
But, I'm still having a MAJOR problem accepting the "never again" when it comes to drinking. I honestly just can't think that way right now. Just thinking that way makes me want to drink.
I hope this makes sense. (?)

Mummyto2

Well done, I like to think of it a day at a time rather than never again

CreativeThinker

Flinders,

Congrats on 13 days. I was all over the place during the early stages of my recovery. Eventually things began to settle down. One the things that helped me was to get outside. Taking walks, runs, going for a swim made me feel so much better and took me out of the negative headspace I was in.

One of the things I learned was that without change, there's no change. By putting myself into situations where my sobriety might be tested, then moving through the situation without drinking made me feel stronger because I had proved to myself that I could do it. Eventually, what was new and different to me, became the normal.

It takes time to develop a new normal, be patient with yourself.

Flinders39

Thanks for this :-)
I understand the testing oneself, but I just feel that right now is definitely not the time.
I've talked with my husband and we decided to stay home and make dinner instead. I just feel like crap because he was looking forward to going out, but totally understands and supports me.

BixBees505

It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing for yourself, at this moment, Flinders. So say no to that sly AV that wants you to feel bad about taking care of yourself!

I agree with CT that sober muscle can be strengthened by gentle safe challenges. In time. A lot of us initially have to protect that muscle from re-injury. And frankly, if dinner out usually meant a drink to you, then staying home for dinner one more week sounds protective to me.

PhoenixJ

well done- meetings help me.

CreativeThinker

I totally get it Flinder. You are the only one to decide when you are ready to take the next step. I remember the first time my husband and I went out to dinner after I stopped drinking. Luckily we ate at a restaurant that we had never been before. If we had gone to one of our regular spots, I think I would have been triggered from the get-go. It was difficult at first, but once we began eating everything was fine.

Take your time and when you're ready, you'll know.

Dee74

I think it's wise to be cautious

as for never again - I think some of us reach that point in increments...I started out committing to recovery every day....forever seemed to immense for me.

eventually all those one days at a time became forever, and I'm totally comfortable with never drinking again

congrats on 2 weeks Flinders

D

Maudcat

I could not wrap my head around never again either, Flinders.
So I flipped things around a bit.
I just hought, "I won't drink today. "
"I might drink next week, or next month, but not today."
I told myself that every day.
In time, not drinking became my normal.
You can do this.