Update...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Update...
Life is GOOD.
I'm enjoying LIFE.
DS, now 10, is.... a kid, playing games, finding new friends, FREE and HAPPY. So am I. I've dropped the illusion of having to keep it all together, and as I play and find joy, everything keeps falling into place.
I'm still married and VERY happy in my marriage. 30 plus years, now living in separate places, and by the grace of GOD we each are healing, our marriage is stronger, and our family is allowed to FEEL hope, love, sadness, irritations, joy, and a whole lot more.
I've been no contact with my mom and dad for about 7 months now. Other than a brief meeting she surprised me with several months ago, which I kept brief, kept quiet, and walked away from. She called me last week, at my summer job. I immediately hung up.
This no contact has been the absolute biggest change in releasing the anxiety in me, the not being able to breath, the feeling of not being enough....
I still don't understand all this, but have been following my intuition, my gut, the guidance of the Universe in all ways I'm learning... to stop, be aware of how I'm feeling, of who I am at the core of me...
No alcoholism in my FOG, yet the stress from the dysfunction was killing me in ways I never before realized.
Now on to new adventures!
I quit my school job two months ago. I have one month left at my summer job. Then I am taking the greatest leap of FAITH yet... I am going to take things one day at a time in a new way, with a new joy, with great expectations, with curiosity... and TRUST in greater ways than ever before.
No home. No job. No fallbacks.
Rock-solid KNOWING that all is well. Meditating, praying, breathing deeply. From going from not being able to quiet the whirling in my mind for 2 minutes, to having days full of utter PEACE.
I'm enjoying the journey.
KTF
I'm enjoying LIFE.
DS, now 10, is.... a kid, playing games, finding new friends, FREE and HAPPY. So am I. I've dropped the illusion of having to keep it all together, and as I play and find joy, everything keeps falling into place.
I'm still married and VERY happy in my marriage. 30 plus years, now living in separate places, and by the grace of GOD we each are healing, our marriage is stronger, and our family is allowed to FEEL hope, love, sadness, irritations, joy, and a whole lot more.
I've been no contact with my mom and dad for about 7 months now. Other than a brief meeting she surprised me with several months ago, which I kept brief, kept quiet, and walked away from. She called me last week, at my summer job. I immediately hung up.
This no contact has been the absolute biggest change in releasing the anxiety in me, the not being able to breath, the feeling of not being enough....
I still don't understand all this, but have been following my intuition, my gut, the guidance of the Universe in all ways I'm learning... to stop, be aware of how I'm feeling, of who I am at the core of me...
No alcoholism in my FOG, yet the stress from the dysfunction was killing me in ways I never before realized.
Now on to new adventures!
I quit my school job two months ago. I have one month left at my summer job. Then I am taking the greatest leap of FAITH yet... I am going to take things one day at a time in a new way, with a new joy, with great expectations, with curiosity... and TRUST in greater ways than ever before.
No home. No job. No fallbacks.
Rock-solid KNOWING that all is well. Meditating, praying, breathing deeply. From going from not being able to quiet the whirling in my mind for 2 minutes, to having days full of utter PEACE.
I'm enjoying the journey.
KTF
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