Dsjamz

Only a few days in and part of the reason for quitting was some crazy random some scary thoughts. Seem to be getting a little less now but was wondering if anyone else dealt or is dealing with this. Thanks in advance

Chilledice

I get it everyday! BIG time......it's not the thought that's the problem it's your reaction to them!

Dsjamz

I like that. Great way to look at it

tr4vionz

I'm feeling this post right now. I'm feeling my mind racing and telling me so many things. The negative thoughts are so loud right now it's crazy. These are the thoughts I want to silence but my silencer is deadly. This disease is alive and well and is always looking for a victim. I can't stop feeling disappointed and I want to have a pity party. I'm so angry at myself but deep down I want to cry. I want to blame everyone for everything without looking at me first. I want my life to be different but at the same time I want it to end. I wished my circumstances were different but they're truly not that bad.

This sobriety is like a divorce from an abusive relationship. 5
days in I want to come back to her and forgive her for everything she's done. But I know she's no good for me and her love has me hooked. She has seduced me passionately for many years and was there for me through the good and bad. I miss her warmth, I miss her taste, I miss her smell and I miss the way she made me feel. When she touched my lips it was pure ecstasy and everytime she left I chased her because I wanted more. If I needed a quickie I could meet her at the bar or liquor store and take a shot of her. Her whispers would ease my mind, my body and my soul; she was the right amount of sexy but oh so devilish.

Now that she's gone I have to figure out life again and figure out how to fill this void. How to control these thoughts and urges.

Thank God for SR!

sugarbear1

Relax, your whole body is healing. Much easier said than done, though! Welcome to Alcoholism101. Alcohol numbed our entire body, now our cells learn to live without that alcohol.

Look up 4-7-8 Breathing and Urge Surfing

They help a lot.

I listened to AA speakers on xa-speakers.org while I fell asleep or when I didn't know what to do!

Those negative thoughts, well, in my opinion, and using the 12 step model, that is part of the mental obsession we have. My negative thoughts get so strong that they give me millions of reasons to numb myself again.

"some crazy random some scary thoughts." Sounds like my brain.

I started drinking to quiet those thoughts so I could sleep at night (sound familiar?)

Part of our AA step work helps us to see our behavior patterns more clearly and by acknowledging them, we can learn to change them.

But first, we have to stay stopped. We learn to get through the longest "hangover" we'll have to endure. One day followed by the next.
*Hangover defined as alcohol withdrawal, the final one!!

In my experience, those random and scary thoughts disappear over time and then I began to really and truly experience Sobriety!

If you have concerns, please see a doctor and be honest with them so they can address what is going on.

I made it, others made it, you can, too!

Chilledice

Is it like ocd thoughts you get? That can be sorted out btw

Carpathia

Furthering Chilledice's comment, in early sobriety I experienced circular thoughts. Like a little hampster wheel, the thoughts kept turning in a particular order. I remember wishing they'd stop already. They caused distress.

Then, someone gave me a little pamphlet called "The Golden Key" by Emmett Fox. Back in the 1930s and 40s, Fox was what we'd describe today as a self-help/positivity guru.

The pamphlet lays out a great tool for conquering circular/obsessive thinking. It may be worth your while checking out. Good luck. This too shall pass!

Dsjamz

Thank you. I keep saying it's worth it in so many ways. Like riding a roller coaster for now but this is very helpful for me.