MarieCat

So I kicked out AH early June. He went straight into a relationship with a new "love" - who is unemployed just like ex and a boozer.
Now the kids tell me he is looking for places to buy marijuana (it is illegal here where I live). Previously he was staunchly against it. Is this a natural progression down the addict pathway? Sort of puts a whole new spin on it since before it was just alcohol. (he has been abusing alcohol for at least 12 years now) What should I make of this?

healthyagain

Ain't you glad you kicked him out? It was just like opening a can of worms, wasn't it?

All I can tell you is, when people show you who they really are, trust them. So, what is your next step? Because it is exactly how you feel about it right now.

Bekindalways

Argh Mariecat, I'm sorry to hear about this for his sake but at least it is reassuring as to why you made the decision. Still not fun.

I remember thinking that I needed to get out of the way so that my qualifier could do whatever he needed to do in his life.

For a long time I just prayed that God would bring him whatever would benefit him. During this time he spiraled further and further down. I still laugh at how differently God and I consider what is "beneficial".

Years later my qualifier told me I did the right thing to leave. He also said at separate times that 1) He had to do what he did. and 2) He'd didn't have to do it. I actually agree with him inspite of how muddled it sounds.

maia1234

He sounds like a winner. Talking to his kids about scoring dope.

I am not sure it is in your kids best interests to have them with their dad at this time. How old are they??

PuzzledHeart

Don't let the legality of pot make you dismiss your gut feelings. Marijuana is legal in some places. Alcohol is legal pretty much anywhere. And here we are...

dandylion

Marie.....I think that the spiraling addict will keep reaching for the "feel good"--.a new romance....an additional mood altering drug....
For one thing, it takes more and more just to feel "normal"....it is the nature of addiction....
He is controlled by his addiction....

I think it is important for you to realize this....it is not even about you....he is just doing what addicts do....

Just do everything that you can to protect you and the kids from the effects of this disease.....

FeelingGreat

First class parenting, telling your kids you're looking for drugs. Great example for them when they get older.

AnvilheadII

well, first off, it ain't that hard to find pot, legal or otherwise. it's not like you have to ring up the cartel. walk into any bar or ask a high school kid.......i'd be surprised if you ex never smoked pot before.....

if i recall, your kids are adults. so there isn't much you can do about any conversations they have. and i don't think it is "damaging" as it might be if the children were minors.

Maudcat

Maybe he and the new gf smoke together?
Hugs. You are well out of it.

MarieCat

Thanks for your responses everyone. The kids are adults - I'm not worried about the effect on them - they can handle it! Although weed is illegal here - it is relatively common place. I'm just curious if this is a common thing - for the alcoholic to progress to other addictions.

dandylion

Yes.

hopeful4

Yes, absolutely.

I would say if your kids are adults and you are not worried about them, to advise them that it's all fresh for you right now, and hearing about dad's bad behavior may not be helpful to you right now.

You need a clean break, and hearing these things are not going to help.