Ironhorse1

I don't post often, but I've been hanging around here for a year or so. During the last year I have had quite a few day 1s and rarely lasted more than a few days before going back to the bottle (8-15+ drinks daily). Currently I am closing in on a month of sobriety which I am grateful for, but truthfully I feel very physically tired and mentally "blah" right now. I don't feel much of a sense of accomplishment or pride at the moment.

I was trying to do it on my own without outside help. A month ago I finally made a plan that included AA, SMART, therapy, Antabuse, etc. AA is comfortable place to be, but I haven't got much out of it, although I haven't worked the steps yet. Smart recovery seems like a good option, but getting to the meetings is a bit tricky with my work schedule. The one thing that's working right now is Antabuse, but I know that this isn't a magic pill or a long term solution.

I'm wondering if the dark/negative headspace I'm in right now is normal during early sobriety, or if I should be concerned about it. I don't feel depressed or anxious or anything, I just feel...I don't know...empty, like an intense boredom or how you feel after a tough breakup.

I'm not struggling to much with the urge to drink, but this tiredness and mental low is really starting to bug me. Any thoughts or suggestions?

ChloeRose63

Have you heard of P.A.W.S?
It is Post Acute Withdrawl Syndrome
There is alot of info on the internet.
Many symptoms including depression. Check it out and see if you get any comforting amswers.

myluckyday

I feel exactly the same.

Dee74

Hi Ironhorse

I had some complications from a bad last detox but it took me 3 months or so to really start to feel good.

If you're like me you drank for years...I think feeling foggy and blah at 4 weeks is not out of the ordinary

are you active and eating well, getting enough sleep? those basic things are important

D

neferkamichael

Ironhorse1, that AV(Addicted Voice) is a sneaky SOB so be careful. No matter how you feel just don't drink, rootin for ya.

Ironhorse1

I've been sleeping well...a solid 8 plus hours without waking up every 2 hours. Diet...not bad, other than waaay too much sugar. I'm relatively active too.

I almost wonder if I'm in a bit of a mourning stage.

tealily

Have you considered talking to your doctor? Long term heavy drinking wreaks havoc and can cause vitamin deficiencies that could be causing some symptoms. Might be worth being checked out.

If not that, do you think you'd be feeling blah even if you hadn't stopped drinking? Are there things going on in your life right now that may be making you sad, frustrated or feeling empty, no matter what?

Alcohol may numb sadness in the moment, or seem like "fun" while you are under its influence, but in my experience, it really is like taking a "depression pill". It doesn't make my life happier, it makes me sadder and more anxious, instead of less.

Life goes on, with all it's challenges, its boring days, its disappointments.. but also with its joys, delights, surprises and rewards.

Hang in there. You've made so much progress! Don't get discouraged. It will get better.

Anna

The early days are tough, no question about it. It took me several weeks before I began to feel somewhat normal. I think it's good to remember that alcohol is a depressant and it could be that your mood will improve in the next couple of weeks. If you continue to feel this way, it might be an idea to talk to your dr and get his opinion.

Ironhorse1

I've always been a pretty easy going, upbeat guy so this gloomy feeling is a bit foreign to me. I'll mention it to my doctor next time I see her if things don't get a bit brighter.

Delilah1

I definitely felt a little down in the first month or so of sobriety, some days it seemed like a funk that I couldn't quite explain. It went away though, and being sober has been the best thing I have ever done for myself.

Definitely talk to your doctor, and maybe look into some other supports for recovery.

happyandfree

I remember that blah and tired feeling. ..it took months before I started to feel good again. I remember thinking, if I'm going to feel this terrible, I might as well drink. I'm glad that I didn't cause I did start feeling great, even though it took a few months. I honestly think that's why so many people don't succeed...because of feeling so horrible in the beginning. Stick with it and you will feel great again too. Just give it time.

KES06

These feelings are totally normal. And you mentioned the word "grieving" and that is perfect for what you are feeling.
For me, personally, I drank regularly for most of my developmental life - 20 plus years. So when I quit, I was losing a best (albeit toxic) friend. I am now 6 months in.
I am having a very difficult time "redefining" myself without alcohol. To me, quitting was the easy part. It's this concept of "self" that I have had for so long and I'm trying to rewrite that is the bitch. I'm same as you. Don't really feel "depressed" per se, but don't feel like I'm "living" either. I'm afraid to discuss with my doc, because my fear is she will put me on a pill, and I don't feel this is necessarily a medicinal issue.
I don't really have any advice. Just know that you are not alone with how you feel. What I DO know is that I don't plan on ever drinking again. So with that goal in mind, I feel like I can eventually navigate these feelings into a positive forward motion. I"m like a sailboat on the water with no wind. Just waiting for that big breeze to hit me.