Sdjfam

Hey! First time poster.

I'm 9 days sober and I'm posting for the first time because I am closer to relapsing than ever before.

Today everything is bothering me way more than it should be and knowing I have to go to work tomorrow is pushing me over the edge.
I hate my job but I'm the one who supports my family. The stress of my job is what actually pushed me to a 2 month long binge.
I'm trying to stay strong but I'm not sure if i can at this point.

Horn95

Don't do it man. You did just the right thing. You posted on here before you relapsed. The fact you did this means you really do not want to drink. Don't do it. You are strong enough not to go there.

Raven87

I don't know you or anything about the difficulties you are facing. But one thing I do know is that drinking is only going to make it worse. Tomorrow morning is still going to come and you are still going to have to face heading to work. The only difference will be the added disappointment of having broken your 9 days and a sore head to boot. The fact you posted here first shows that you don't want to drink. So don't. Tonight is all that matters. You have got this.

RuneStone

Sdifam drinking will make your stress 10 times worse. Don't drink today. You're through the worse part. Stay sober.

Opivotal

That's your AV talking. Drinking is not an option... take it off the table. You don't have to act on these thoughts. You can get through this Sdjfam!

Take the day and do something you enjoy. Keep your mind busy. Exercise is a great stress reliever.

Congratulations on 9 days!

Jules714

Hey...good idea to post first!
Why not go work on your resume?
Imagine how good you'll feel even touching it up? Sending it out? Getting a few interviews? Procuring a new job? And staying sober?!
Drinking will only make things worse. It does NOTHING positive.
You can do it!!
Jules

FreeOwl

we generally create what we focus on.

I wonder if there's a different picture you could focus on. Another story you might tell......

"I'm feeling frustrated today, so I am choosing to let those frustrations transform into physical energy - I'm going to the gym and then for a long walk in the forest".

"In order to build momentum from my 9 days of sobriety, today I will spend this day of sobriety encouraging others and volunteering in my town with something".

"Today is a great day to deepen my sobriety and prepare for the week ahead - I'll go to a meeting, read the big book, post here and go for a bike ride".


"I'm about to relapse" seems like a preamble. You get to choose whether you relapse. When you see yourself telling the story of "I'm about to relapse" - it's time to change the story.

january161992

great honesty

my sponsor would say to me in his deep gravely voice ......

GET YOUR BUTT TO A MEETING AND WORK WITH A NEWCOMER !!!

Sdjfam

I messed up bad back to square one ... I'm mad sad angry annoyed idk what to think

Horn95

9 out of 10 days you've been sober my man!!! Pick it up again.

Bingo12

You are really not back to square one! Like the person before me said, 9 out of 10 days you've been sober which is an amazing accomplishment! No matter what happens those 9 days aren't wasted. If anything you should congratulate yourself for being able to stay sober for that long! If you did it once you can do it again + it might even be slightly easier this time around since you've already done it once! :-)

Mklove

You can write your own healing story. Like some of the others said, you created a artery line that let your alcholholic voice be the narrator. Same urge, different narrator, different ending might occur! I've been thinking about this vacation I am on, overseas with people who like to drink and spend money on nice things, including drink. The AV has declared I will indulge because everybody else will be doing so. Nope, with some thought I attend the events and order my drink with sweet steady conviction, no thanks to any other option. Good luck, sounds to me like you are on a good roll........9 days is excellent.

SimplyFree

I've learned I hate starting over on day 1 more than anything else in my life. All the things that stress or annoy me in my life.......cannot.....have enough power to control me or send me back to day1. As DonegoneCarl would say....we chose to drink, no one poured the stuff down our throat.....so I refuse to give that kind of control to my job, family, life overall. I chose to shut my AV down. Now that being said....you have 9 of 10 sober days. That is still a very positive trend. Fine tune your plan and keep going!!! You can do this!!

ChloeRose63

How I wish I had posted last week when I heard my AV saying it would be alright to drink. I spent the whole week buying wine, hiding wine bottles and sneaking booze and cigarettes when I needed to. Now it is Day 1 and I never want to have another one. This is the worst feeling!

FreedomCA

Congrats on 9 days of abstinence. Hope you can find the right path for you.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Sdjfam

it's great you posted, but next time give us a chance to talk you round

If you're stressed it can help to talk it out - we might even have some ideas on how you might deal with whatever the stresses are

D

Sdjfam

Thank you everyone for the support.

I woke up this morning feeling terrible but hopeful.
My husband drew the line saying if it happens again he's gone and taking my son with him.
He's said that before but it obviously hasn't stopped me yet. I'm going to continue posting and I'm going to start going to meetings. I'm just nervous because I've never been to a meeting before. :/

Sdjfam

Just got back from my first meeting! I was so nervous to go. I almost didn't get out of the car, I was crying and shaking but I am so happy I did it! Everyone was so nice and welcoming. This is what I have to do to stay sober! I now know I can't do this alone.

gregknight

That's it, get a sober plan and stick to it! Go to as many as you can or need to if you feel in a precarious place with your sobriety. Don't stop trying!

ChloeRose63

So proud of you taking that important step!